For My Golfing Friends

Golf can best be defined as an endless series of tragedies obscured by the occasional miracle, followed by a good bottle of beer.

Golf! You hit down to make the ball go up. You swing left and the ball goes right. The lowest score wins. And on top of that, the winner buys the drinks

Golf is harder than baseball. In golf, you have to play your foul balls.

If you find you do not mind playing golf in the rain, the snow, even during a hurricane, here's a valuable tip: your life is in trouble.

Golfers who try to make everything perfect before taking the shot rarely make a perfect shot.

The term 'mulligan' is really a contraction of the phrase 'maul it again.'

A 'gimme' can best be defined as an agreement between two golfers ... neither of whom can putt very well.

An interesting thing about golf is that no matter how badly you play; it is always possible to get worse.

Golf's a hard game to figure. One day you'll go out and slice it and shank it, hit into all the traps and miss every green. The next day you go out and for no reason at all you really stink.

If your best shots are the practice swing and the 'gimme putt', you might wish to reconsider this game.

Golf is the only sport where the most feared opponent ! is you.

Golf is like marriage: If you take yourself too seriously it won't work , and both are expensive.

The best wood in most amateurs' bags is the pencil.

David Letterman's Top Ten Reasons
Why Golf Is Better Than Sex.....


#10... A below par performance is considered damn good.

#9... You can stop in the middle and have a cheeseburger and a couple of beers.

#8... It's much easier to find the sweet spot.

#7... Foursomes are encouraged.

#6... You can still make money doing it as a senior.

#5... Three times a day is possible.

#4... Your partner doesn't hire a lawyer if you play with someone else.

#3... If you live in Florida , you can do it almost every day.

#2... You don't have to cuddle with your partner when you're finished.

And the NUMBER ONE reason why golf is better than sex.....

#1... When your equipment gets old you can replace it!

A speech to remember by J. K. Rowling

The author of Harry Potter, J.K. Rowling received an honorary doctor of letters degree and gave a speech at Harvard's 357th Commencement. Take time to read the transcript or watch the video.

====================================================================================
The Fringe Benefits of Failure, and the Importance of Imagination

JKR's Commencement speech at Harvard (Part 1 of 2)



JKR's Commencement speech at Harvard (Part 2 of 2)



===================================================================================

Too long a speech for your liking? Then read some of the quotes extracted from the speech, by Olgy Gary.

Do you drive after drinking?

A wonderful story to share with someone who drives after drinking.

==================================================================================

I was walking around in a Target store, when I saw a Cashier hand this little boy some money back.

The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old.

The Cashier said, 'I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll.'

Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny,

are you sure I don't have enough money?''

The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.''

Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look a round. She left quickly.

The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand.

Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to.

'It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas

She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her.'

I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her after all, and not to worry.

But he replied to me sadly. 'No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there.'

His eyes were so sad while saying this. 'My Sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.''

My heart nearly stopped.

The little boy looked up at me and said: 'I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall.'

Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me 'I want mommy to take my picture

with her so she won't forget me.'

'I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister.'

Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly.

I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. 'Suppose we check again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?''

'OK' he said, 'I hope I do have enough.' I added some of my money to his with out him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money.

The little boy said: 'Thank you God for giving me enough money!'

Then he looked at me and added, 'I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy

this doll, so that mommy could give It to my sister. He heard me!''
'I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave

me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.''

'My mommy loves white roses.'

A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket.

I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started.

I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind.

Then I remembered a local news paper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied

by a young woman and a little girl.

The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma.

Was this the family of the little boy?

Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the news paper that the young woman had passed away.

I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before her burial.

She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest.

I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed for ever.. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine.

And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him.

Will you think again before you drink drive??????

Now you have 2 choices:


1) Forward this. only for ones who have a heart

2) Ignore it as if it never touched your heart

============================================================================
If this story does not help maybe this video would.


Don`t Drive After Drinking - The most popular videos are here

Thai Alien Cow... Cloning Disaster???

I received an email about Thai Alien Cow.



I did a search and discovered Above Top Secret forum where there was a discussion about it.

Looking through the postings, I think that the most likely answer came from someone from Worldwatcher who mentioned that it could be birth defect known as cyclopia. I did a search on "cyclopia images" as the writer has suggested and do see some semblance there.

Snopes has also covered a true story about a kitten born with a single cyclopic eye.

Fashion (see through skirt)

Dream on my friends in Singapore, Snopes had investigated this story and given it a false status.

=============================================================================
Fashion skirts coming to Singapore soon.

COMING SOON TO A ASDA NEAR YOU !!!?

What you see below are not see-thru skirts. They are actually prints on the skirts to make it look as if the panties are visible and these are the current rage in Japan . They'll be the rage here in the UK soon.

I forward this as a public service, so you won't have a heart attack when the rage reaches here.

CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS???????!!!!!
==============================================================================
Go to Snopes to view photos and story behind skirts.

TEARS FOR A BROTHER

From my InBox:

A Simple True Story of True Love and True Care

I was born in a secluded village on a mountain. Day by day, my parents
plowed the yellow dry soil with their backs towards the sky.

I have a brother who is 3 years younger than me. I wanted to buy a
handkerchief, which all girls around me seemed to have. So, one day I
stole 50 cents from my father's drawer. Father had discovered about
the stolen money right away.

He made me and my younger brother kneel against the wall as he held a
bamboo stick in his hand. 'Who stole the money?' he asked. I was
stunned, too afraid to talk. Neither of us admitted to the fault, so
he said, 'Fine, if nobody wants to admit, you two should be beaten!'

He lifted up the bamboo stick. Suddenly, my younger brother gripped
father's hand and said,' Dad, I was the one who did it!' The long
stick smacked my brother's back repeatedly. Father was so angry that
he kept on whipping my brother until he lost his breath. After that,
he sat down on our stone bed and scolded my brother, 'You have learned
to steal from your own house now.

What other embarrassing things will you be possibly be doing in the
future? You should be beaten to death, you shameless thief!'

That night, my mother and I hugged my brother. His body was full of
wounds from the beating but he never shed a single tear. In the middle
of the night, all of sudden, I cried out loudly. My brother covered my
mouth with his little hand and said, ' Sis, now don't cry anymore.
Everything has happened.'

I still hate myself for not having enough courage to admit what I did.

Years gone by, but the incident still seemed like it just happened
yesterday. I will never forget my brother's expression when he
protected me.

That year, my brother was 8 years old and I was 11 years old. When my
brother was in his last year of secondary school, he was accepted in
an upper secondary school in the central. At the same time, I was
accepted into a university in the province. That night, father
squatted in the yard, smoking, packet by packet.

I could hear him ask my mother, 'Both of our children, they have good
results, very good results'. Mother wiped off her tears and sighed,'
What is the use? How can we possibly finance both of them?' At that
time, my brother walked out, he stood in front of father and
said,' Dad, I don't want to continue my studies anymore, I have read
enough books.'

Father swung his hand and slapped my brother on his face. 'Why do you
have a spirit so damn weak? Even if it means I have to beg for money
on the streets, I will send you two to school until you have both
finished your studies!'

And then, he started to knock on every house in the village to borrow
money. I stuck out my hand as gently as I can to my brother's swollen
face, and told him, 'A boy has to continue his studies; If not, he will
not be able to overcome this poverty we are experiencing.'

I, on the other hand, had decided not to further my studies at the
University. Nobody knew that on the next day, before dawn, my brother
left the house with a few pieces of worn-out clothes and a few dry
beans. He sneaked to my side of the bed and left a note on my pillow;
'Sis, getting into a university is not easy. I will go find a job and
I will send money to you.'

I held the note while sitting on my bed, and cried until I lost my voice.

That year, my brother was 17 years old; I was 20 years old. With the
money father borrowed from the whole village, and the money my brother
earned from carrying cement on his back at a construction
site, finally, I managed to get to the third year of my study in the
University.

One day, while I was studying in my room, my roommate came in and told
me, 'There's a villager waiting for you outside!' Why would there be a
villager looking for me? I walked out, and I saw my brother from afar.
His whole body was covered with dirt, dust, cement and sand. I asked
him, 'Why did you not tell my roommate that you are my brother?'

He replied with a smile,' Look at my appearance. What will they think
if they would know that I am your brother? Won't they laugh at you?' I
felt so touched, and tears filled my eyes. I swept away dirt and dust
from my brother's body. And told him with a lump in my throat, ' I
don't care what people would say! You are my brother no matter what
your appearance is?'

From his pocket, he took out a butterfly hair clip. He put it on my
hair and said, 'I saw all the girls in town are wearing it. So, I
think you should also have one.' I could not hold back myself anymore.
I pulled my brother into my arms and cried.

That year, my brother was 20 years old; I was 23 years old. I noticed
that the broken window was repaired the first time I brought my
boyfriend home. The house was scrubbed cleaned. After my boyfriend
left, I danced like a little girl in front of my mother, 'Mom, you
didn't have to spend so much time cleaning the house!' But she told me
with a smile,'

It was your brother who went home early to clean the house. Didn't you
see the wound on his hand? He hurt his hand while he was replacing the
window.' I went into my brother's bedroom. Looking at his thin face, I
felt like there are hundreds of needle pricked in my heart.

I applied some ointment on his wound and put a bandage on it, 'Does it
hurt? ' I asked him. 'No, it doesn't hurt. You know, when at the
construction site, stones keep falling on my feet . Even that could
not stop me from working.' In the middle of the sentence, he stopped.
I turned my back on him and tears rolled down my face.

That year, my brother was 23 years old; I was 26 years old. After I
got married, I lived in the city. Many times my husband invited my
parents to come and live with us, but they didn't want. They said,
once they left the village,they wouldn't know what to do. My brother
agreed with them. He said, 'Sis, you just take care of your
parents-in-law. I will take care of mom and dad here.'

My husband became the director of his factory. We asked my brother to
accept the offer of being the Manager in the maintenance department.
But my brother rejected the offer. He insisted on working as a
repairman instead for a start.

One day, my brother was on the top of a ladder repairing a cable, when
he got electrocuted, and was sent to the hospital. My husband and I
visited him at the hospital. Looking at the white gypsum on his leg, I
grumbled, 'Why did you reject the offer of being a Manager? Managers
won't do something dangerous like that. Now look at you, You are
suffering a serious injury. Why didn't you just listen to us?'

With a serious expression on his face, he defended his decision,
'Think of brother-in-law. He just became the director, and I being
uneducated, and would become a Manager, what kind of rumors would fly
around?' My husband's eyes filled up with tears, and then I said, 'But
you lack in education only because of me!' 'Why do you talk about the
past?' he said and then he held my hand.

That year, he was 26 years old and I was 29 years old. My brother was
30 years old when he married a farmer girl from the village. During
the wedding reception, the master of ceremonies asked him, 'Who is the
one person you respect and love the most?'

Without even taking a time to think, he answered,' My sister.' He
continued by telling a story I could not even remember.

'When I was in primary school, the school was in a different village.
Everyday, my sister and I would walk for 2 hours to school and back
home. One day, I lost the other pair of my gloves. My sister gave me
one of hers. She wore only one glove and she had to walk far. When we
got home, her hands were trembling because of the cold weather that
she could not even hold her chopsticks.

From that day on, I swore that as long as I live, I would take care of
my sister and will always be good to her.' Applause filled up the
room.


All guests turned their attention to me. I found it hard to speak, 'In
my whole life, the one I would like to thank most is my brother,' And
in this happy occasion, in front of the crowd, tears were rolling down
my face again.

*Love and care for the one you love every single days of your life.*
You may think what you did is just a small deed, but to that someone,
it may mean a lot.

Microsoft's Most Valued Professional

Are you good at using Microsoft programmes?
Are you willing to teach others how to use them?

If your answer is yes to both these questions, you stand a chance to be awarded "Most Valued Professional" status by Microsoft.

Just to give you an idea, check out "Making the most of Word for your business" created by Shauna Kelly, who is one of such professionals.

Not up to par yet? Then learn to make the most of your Microsoft programmes with the help of MVP awardees.