Happy reading

School: A place where Papa pays and son plays.

Life insurance: A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die rich.

Nurse: A person who wakes you up to give you sleeping pills.

Marriage: It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters.

Divorce: Future tense of marriage.

Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine waterpower.