SUPER Quotes

Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself ~~"Lillian, you
should have remained a virgin."-- Lillian Carter (mother of Jimmy Carter)

I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not
pleased to read the description in the catalog: "No good in a bed, but fine
against a wall." -- Eleanor Roosevelt

Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I
have since been visited by her sister, and now wish to withdraw that
statement. -- Mark Twain

The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending;
and to have the two as close together as possible.-- George Burns

Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year.-- Victor
Borge

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.-- Mark
Twain

By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you
get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.-- Socrates

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.-- Groucho Marx

My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she
stops to breathe.-- Jimmy Durante

I have never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back.-- Zsa Zsa Gabor

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food
groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat.-- Alex Levine

My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying.--
Rodney Dangerfield

Money can't buy you happiness .. but it does bring you a more pleasant
form of misery.-- Spike Milligan

I am opposed to millionaires... but it would be dangerous to offer me the
position.-- Mark Twain

Until I was thirteen, I thought my name was SHUT UP.-- Joe Namath

I don't feel old. I don't feel anything until noon. Then it's time for my
nap.-- Bob Hope

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.--
W.C. Fields

We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way
through Congress.-- Will Rogers

Don't worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older, it will avoid
you.-- Winston Churchill

Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty ... but everything else starts
to wear out, fall out, or spread out.-- Phyllis Diller

By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go
anywhere.-- Billy Crystal

Give me a sense of humor, Lord;Give me the grace to see a joke, To get
some humor out of life, And pass it on to other folk.

YOU, my Friend, are part of the 'Other Folk'