Larry Is In The Hospital . . . ....

From The Laughter Club:

Who in the hell is Larry?

Well Larry is the guy who gets home late one night and Linda, his wife, says "Where the hell have you been?" Larry replies "I was out getting a tattoo!"

"A tattoo"? she frowned. "What kind of tattoo did you get?"

"I got a hundred dollar bill on my privates" he said proudly.

"What the hell were you thinking"? she said, shaking her head in disgust. "Why on earth would a Chartered Accountant get a hundred dollar bill tattooed on his privates?"

"Well, one, I like to watch my money grow. Two, once in a while I like to play with my money. Three, I like how money feels in my hand. And, lastly, instead of you going out shopping, you can stay right here at home and blow a hundred bucks anytime you want."

Larry is in the Royal Brisbane Hospital, Critical Care Unit.

New Treatment For Sunburn

Read this with a pinch of salt and laugh.

From The Laughter Club

Bet you never thought of this... New Treatment For Sunburn -

A guy visiting in Hawaii fell asleep on the beach for sever al hours and got a horrible sunburn, specifically to his upper legs.

He went to the hospital , and was promptly admitted after being diagnosed with second-degree burns.

With his skin already starting to blister, and the severe pain he was in, the doctor prescribed continuous intravenous feeding

with saline, electrolytes, a sedative, and a Viagra pill every four hours.

The nurse, who was rather astounded, asked, 'What good will Viagra do for him, Doctor?’

The doctor replied, 'It won't do anything for his condition, but it’ll keep the sheets off his legs.'

A Cardiologist's Funeral

From My InBox:

A Cardiologist's Funeral

A very prestigious cardiologist died, and was given a very elaborate funeral by the hospital he worked for most of his life.......
A huge heart... covered in flowers stood behind the casket during the service as all the doctors from the hospital sat in awe. Following the eulogy, the heart opened, and the casket rolled inside. The heart then closed, sealing the doctor in the beautiful heart forever..

At that point, one of the mourners just -burst- into laughter. When all eyes stared at him, he said, 'I am so sorry, I was just thinking of my own funeral... I'm a gynecologist.'

What Are Words

Subscribe to newsletter from Dr Ben Kim and this will be one of the stuff you will stumble upon. 

http://drbenkim.com/what-are-words-chris-medina.htm

From My InBox:

A video featuring the story of Chris Medina and his fiancee, Julie, who suffered brain damage in a car accident shortly before they were to be married.

Lyrics for "What Are Words," by Chris Medina

Anywhere you are, I am near
Anywhere you go, I'll be there
Anytime you whisper my name, you'll see
How every single promise I keep
Cuz what kind of guy would I be
If I was to leave when you need me most
What are words
If you really don't mean them
When you say them
What are words
If they're only for good times
Then they don't
When it's love
Yeah, you say them out loud
Those words, They never go away
They live on, even when we're gone
And I know an angel was sent just for me
And I know I'm meant to be where I am
And I'm gonna be
Standing right beside her tonight
And I'm gonna be by your side
I would never leave when she needs me most
What are words
If you really don't mean them
When you say them
What are words
If they're only for good times
Then they don't
When it's love
Yeah, you say them out loud
Those words, They never go away
They live on, even when we're gone
Anywhere you are, I am near
Anywhere you go, I'll be there
And I'm gonna be here forever more
Every single promise I keep
Cuz what kind of guy would I be
If I was to leave when you need me most
I'm forever keeping my angel close

Chords for "What Are Words," by Chris Medina

"What Are Words" @ tabs.ultimate-guitar.com