Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Is Your Cell Phone Bugged?

Your cell phone feels hotter than it should? Then you should check out this video which also explains the interfering buzz you hear while talking on your cell phone or why the battery seems to run out faster than it should.

From My InBox:

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

moment of clarity

My friend thinks he is the Smartest Man In The World. What do you think?

From My InBox:

Monday, December 14, 2009

Correct timing to take water

I did not verify this but see no harm in drinking water.

From My InBox:



USEFUL TIPS

Correct timing to take water, will maximize its effectiveness to Human body.

Two (02) glass of water - After waking up - Helps activate internal organs

One (01) glasses of water - 30 minutes before meal - Help digestion

One (01) glass of water - Before taking a bath - Helps lower blood pressure
One (01) glass of water - Before sleep - To avoid stroke or heart attack

The Greatest Prank Call Ever

From My InBox:

Guts and balls are one and the same thing!

From My InBox:

We've all heard about people having Guts or Balls.

But do you really know the difference between them? In an effort to
keep you informed, the definition for each is listed below...

GUTS - is arriving home late after a night out with guys, being met by
your wife with a broom, and having the guts to ask: "Are you still
cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?"

BALLS - is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling
of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on
the ass and having the balls to say: "You're next."

I hope this clears up any confusion on the definitions. Medically
speaking, there is no difference in the outcome since both ultimately
result in serious injury or death.

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Woman and a Fork

From My InBox:

There was a young woman who had been diagnosed with a terminal illness and had been given three months to live. So as she was getting her things 'in order,' she contacted her Pastor and had him come to her house to discuss certain aspects of her final wishes.

She told him which songs she wanted sung at the service, what scriptures she would like read, and what outfit she wanted to be buried in.

Everything was in order and the Pastor was preparing to leave when the young woman suddenly remembered something very important to her.




'There's one more thing,' she said excitedly.



'What's that?' came the Pastor's reply.



'This is very important,' the young woman continued. 'I want to be buried with a fork in my right hand.'

The Pastor stood looking at the young woman, not knowing quite what to say.

That surprises you, doesn't it?' the young woman asked.

'Well, to be honest, I'm puzzled by the request,' said the Pastor.

The young woman explained. 'My grandmother once told me this story, and from that time on I have always tried to pass along its message to those I love and those who are in need of encouragement. In all my years of attending socials and dinners, I always remember that when the dishes of the main course were being cleared, someone would inevitably lean over and say, 'Keep your fork.' It was my favorite part because I knew that something better was coming...like velvety chocolate cake or deep-dish apple pie. Something wonderful, and with substance!'

So, I just want people to see me there in that casket with a fork in my hand and I want them to wonder 'What's with the fork?' Then I want you to tell them: 'Keep your fork. The best is yet to come.'

The Pastor's eyes welled up with tears of joy as he hugged the young woman good-bye. He knew this would be one of the last times he would see her before her death. But he also knew that the young woman had a better grasp of heaven than he did. She had a better grasp of what heaven would be like than many people twice her age, with twice as much experience and knowledge. She KNEW that something better was coming.

At the funeral people were walking by the young woman's casket and they saw the cloak she was wearing and the fork placed in her right hand. Over and over, the Pastor heard the question, 'What's with the fork?' And over and over he smiled.

During his message, the Pastor told the people of the conversation he had with the young woman shortly before she died. He also told them about the fork and about what it symbolized to her. He told the people how he could not stop thinking about the fork and told them that they probably would not be able to stop thinking about it either.

He was right. So the next time you reach down for your fork let it remind you, ever so gently, that the best is yet to come. Friends are a very rare jewel , indeed . They make you smile and encourage you to succeed Cherish the time you have , and the memories you share ... Being friends with someone is not an opportunity but a sweet responsibility.

And keep your fork.

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

He's my brother

From My InBox:

Two young boys walked into a pharmacy one day, picked out a box of tampons and proceeded to the checkout counter.

The man at the counter asked the older boy, "Son, how old are you?"

"Eight," the boy replied.

The man continued, "Do you know what these are used for?"

The boy replied, "not exactly, but they aren't for me. They're for him.

He's my brother. He's four. We saw on TV that if you use these you would be able to swim and ride a bike. Right now, he can't do either."

Sunday, December 6, 2009

Are you The Real Santa?

Abhishek Shah is looking for the Real Santa. Find out if you are one.

A Jew's confession

I did not verify if this article was really by Ben Stein but there are some interesting points to pick up and digest.

From My Inbox:

The following was written by Ben Stein and recited by him on CBS Sunday Morning Commentary.

My confession:

I am a Jew, and every single one of my ancestors was Jewish. And it does not bother me even a little bit when people call those beautiful lit up, bejeweled trees, Christmas trees. I don't feel threatened. I don't feel discriminated against.. That's what they are, Christmas trees.

It doesn't bother me a bit when people say, 'Merry Christmas' to me. I don't think they are slighting me or getting ready to put me in a ghetto. In fact, I kind of like it. It shows that we are all brothers and sisters celebrating this happy time of year. It doesn't bother me at all that there is a manger scene on display at a key intersection near my beach house in Malibu .. If people want a creche, it's just as fine with me as is the Menorah a few hundred yards away.

I don't like getting pushed around for being a Jew, and I don't think Christians like getting pushed around for being Christians. I think people who believe in God are sick and tired of getting pushed around, period. I have no idea where the concept came from, that America is an explicitly atheist country. I can't find it in the Constitution and I don't like it being shoved down my throat.

Or maybe I can put it another way: where did the idea come from that we should worship celebrities and we aren't allowed to worship God as we understand Him? I guess that's a sign that I'm getting old, too. But there are a lot of us who are wondering where these celebrities came from and where the America we knew went to.

In light of the many jokes we send to one another for a laugh, this is a little different: This is not intended to be a joke; it's not funny, it's intended to get you thinking.

Billy Graham's daughter was interviewed on the Early Show and Jane Clayson asked her 'How could God let something like this happen?' (regarding Hurricane Katrina). Anne Graham gave an extremely profound and insightful response. She said, 'I believe God is deeply saddened by this, just as we are, but for years we've been telling God to get out of our schools, to get out of our government and to get out of our lives. And being the gentleman He is, I believe He has calmly backed out. How can we expect God to give us His blessing and His protection if we demand He leave us alone?'

In light of recent events... terrorists attack, school shootings, etc.. I think it started when Madeleine Murray O'Hare (she was murdered, her body found a few years ago) complained she didn't want prayer in our schools, and we said OK. Then someone said you better not read the Bible in school. The Bible says thou shalt not kill; thou shalt not steal, and love your neighbor as yourself. And we said OK.

Then Dr. Benjamin Spock said we shouldn't spank our children when they misbehave, because their little personalities would be warped and we might damage their self-esteem (Dr. Spock's son committed suicide). We said an expert should know what he's talking about. And we said okay..

Now we're asking ourselves why our children have no conscience, why they don't know right from wrong, and why it doesn't bother them to kill strangers, their classmates, and themselves.

Probably, if we think about it long and hard enough, we can figure it out. I think it has a great deal to do with 'WE REAP WHAT WE SOW.'

Funny how simple it is for people to trash God and then wonder why the world's going to hell. Funny how we believe what the newspapers say, but question what the Bible says. Funny how you can send 'jokes' through e-mail and they spread like wildfire, but when you start sending messages regarding the Lord, people think twice about sharing. Funny how lewd, crude, vulgar and obscene articles pass freely through cyberspace, but public discussion of God is suppressed in the school and workplace.

Are you laughing yet?

Funny how when you forward this message, you will not send it to many on your address list because you're not sure what they believe, or what they will think of you for sending it.

Funny how we can be more worried about what other people think of us than what God thinks of us.

Pass it on if you think it has merit.

If not, then just discard it... no one will know you did. But, if you discard this thought process, don't sit back and complain about what bad shape the world is in..



My Best Regards, Honestly and respectfully,

Ben Stein

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Heineken Dog

From My InBox:

Funny Budlight Commercial

Don't let this happen to your date this Christmas.

=================================================================
From My InBox:

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Values? See them in your hands!

Now that I am getting better at creating slideshows, here is an improved version of one I did earlier. I hope you like it enough to vote for me in the "Holiday Spirit Contest 2009" running on Slideshare.

Family Problem

From My InBox:

one complicated family....


Two men, one American and an Indian were sitting in a bar drinking shot after shot.

The Indian man said to the American, 'You know my parents are forcing me to get married to this so called homely girl from a village whom I haven't even met once.' We call this arranged marriage. I don't want to marry a woman whom I don't love... I told them that openly and now have a hell lot
of family problems.'

The American said, talking about love marriages.... I'll tell you my story. I married a widow whom I deeply loved and dated for 3 years. 'After a couple of years, my father fell in love with my step-daughter and married her, so my father became my son-in-law and I became my father's father-in-law.

Legally now my daughter is my mother and my wife my grandmother. More problems occurred when I had a son. My son is my father's brother and so he is my uncle.

Situations turned worse when my father had a son. Now my father's son, my brother is my grandson. Ultimately, I have become my own grand father and I am my own grandson.. And you say you have family problems...

The Indian fainted…

Monday, November 30, 2009

Creative ads...

From My InBox:

Sign over a Gynecologist's Office:

'Dr. Jones, at your cervix.'

**************************

In a Podiatrist's office:

'Time wounds all heels.'

**************************

On a Septic Tank Truck:

Yesterday's Meals on Wheels

**************************

At a Proctologist's door:

'To expedite your visit, please back in.'

**************************

On a Plumber's truck:

'We repair what your husband fixed.'

**************************

On another Plumber's truck:

'Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.'

**************************

On a Church's Bill board:

'7 days without God makes one weak.'

**************************

At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee :

'Invite us to your next blowout.'

**************************

At a Towing company:

'We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows.'

**************************

On an Electrician's truck:

'Let us remove your shorts.'

**************************

In a Non smoking Area:

'If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate

action.'

**************************

On a Maternity Room door:

'Push. Push. Push.'

**************************

At an Optometrist's Office:

'If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place.'

**************************

On a Taxidermist's window:

'We really know our stuff.'

**************************

On a Fence:

'Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive!'

**************************

At a Car Dealership:

'The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment.'

**************************

Outside a Muffler Shop:

'No appointment necessary. We hear you coming.'

**************************

In a Veterinarian's waiting room:

'Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!'

**************************

At the Electric Company

'We would be delighted if you send in your payment.

However, if you don't, you will be.'

**************************

In a Restaurant window:

"Don't stand there and be hungry; come on in and get fed up.'

**************************

In the front yard of a Funeral Home:

'Drive carefully. We'll wait.'

**************************

At a Propane Filling Station:

'Thank heaven for little grills.'

**************************

And don't forget the sign at a

CHICAGO RADIATOR SHOP:

'Best place in town to take a leak.'

**********************

Sign on the back of another Septic Tank Truck:

'Caution - This Truck is full of Political Promises'

A HELL OF AN ANSWER

From My InBox:

The following is an actual question given on a University of Liverpool chemistry final exam. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues via the Internet, which is why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)? ?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's law that gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.

As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that, if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell.? Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell. Because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay constant, the volume of Hell must expand proportionately as souls are added. This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Sandra during my freshman year, that "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus Hell is endothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting anymore souls and is extinct, leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being - which also explains why Sandra kept shouting "Oh my God!" all last night.

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A".

What would make you smile?

Can you still remember the things your children said or do that made you smile? Take a look at these images shared by Ali Tamay on SlideShare and think about it.

Sunday, November 29, 2009

Know Aids No Aids

Prevention measures can only be made with knowledge. Abhishek Shah shared some facts about aids on Slideshare.

Making Learning Fun

It's the year end school holidays. What are you teaching your children? I am teaching my son to create his own education slideshow. Here is the first one I created with him. Give us a vote up if you like it.

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Touch Me . . .

From My InBox:

If I am your child... Please touch me.
Persist; find ways to meet my needs.
Your goodnight hug helps sweeten my dreams.
Your daytime touching tells me how you really feel.

If I am your teenager... Please touch me.
Don't think because I'm almost grown,
I don't need to know that you still care.
I need your loving arms; I need a tender voice.

If I am your friend... Please touch me.
Nothing lets me know you care like a warm embrace.
A healing touch when I'm depressed assures me I am loved,
And reassures me that I'm not alone.
Yours may be the only comforting touch I get.

If I am your life's partner... Please touch me.
You may think that your passion is enough,
But only your arms hold back my fears.
I need your tender reassuring touch, To remind me
I am loved just because I am me.

If I am your grown-up child... Please touch me.
Though I may have a family my own to hold,
I still need Mommy's and Daddy's arms when I hurt.
As a parent the view is different; I appreciate you more.

If I am your aging parent... Please touch me.
Hold my hand, sit close to me, give me strength;
And warm my tired body with your nearness.
Although my skin is worn and wrinkled, It loves to be stroked

Don't be afraid.

Please Touch Me!


~Author Unknown~

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Love*or*Beauty

From My InBox:

Beauty is a mere smile.

Love is a smile that warms the heart.

Beauty is but skin deep, from outside-in.


Love is beauty from inside-out.

Beauty changes, fades, decreases over time.

Love endures, never fails, is of a timeless dimension.


Beauty is in eyes that twinkle in the moonlight.

Love is in eyes that speak kindness, patience, concern, day and night.


Beauty is a figure, a shape, physical looks that appeal to the senses.

Love starts as a feeling, and becomes a sensitizer to the soul.


Beauty hates to hear the truth -
"You're getting old".

Love embraces the truth -
"I Love You more the older you get".


Beauty is vain-glory, a self-seeking competitor.

Love is humility, a self-giving peacemaker.


Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

Love is in the heart of the giver.


So, what Foundation is built of Love?
I'll give you a hint.

It's the same foundation that has preserved marriages, friendships, families for a lifetime.

God is the same yesterday, today, and forever, as Love is the same yesterday, today, and forever. Therefore, God is Love, and such relationships are built on a foundation of God's Love.

So now, bearing all this in mind-....... ........

Is your Foundation built on Love, or is it Beauty?

Monday, November 23, 2009

Sunday, November 22, 2009

Test Answers.....

From My InBox:

The following questions were set in last year's GCSE examination in the U.K.

These are genuine answers (from 16 year olds)....


Q. Name the four seasons
A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar

Q.. Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink
A. Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists

Q. How is dew formed
A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire

Q. What causes the tides in the oceans
A. The tides are a fight between the earth and the moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins the fight

Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on
A. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed

Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections
A. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election

Q. What are steroids
A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs (Shoot yourself now , there is little hope)

Q. What happens to your body as you age
A. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental

Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty
A. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery (So true)

Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes
A. Premature death

Q. What is artificial insemination
A. When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow

Q. How can you delay milk turning sour
A. Keep it in the cow (Simple, but brilliant)

Q. How are the main 20 parts of the body categorised (e.g. The abdomen)
A. The body is consisted into 3 parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A, E, I, O and ;U (What the *!!*???)

Q. What is the fibula?
A. A small lie

Q. What does 'varicose' mean?
A. Nearby

Q. What is the most common form of birth control
A. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium (That would work)

Q. Give the me aning of the term 'Caesarean section'
A. The caesarean section is a district in Rome

Q. What is a seizure?
A. A Roman Emperor. (Julius Seizure, I came, I saw, I had a fit)

Q. What is a terminal illness
A. When you are sick at the airport. (Irrefutable)

Q. Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature?
A. Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and they look like umbrellas

Q. Use the word 'judicious' in a sentence to show you understand its meaning
A. Hands that judicious can be soft as your face. (OMG)

Q. What does the word 'benign' mean?
A. Benign is what you will be after you be eight

Q. What is a turbine?
A. Something an Arab or Shreik wears on his head.

Friday, November 20, 2009

Use..... this... in... life

From My InBox:

Use..... this... in... life

Talk-------------Softly

Walk--------------Humbly

Eat-----------------Sensibly

Breathe------------------Deeply

Sleep--------------------Sufficiently

Dress-------------------------Smartly

Act-----------------------------Fearlessly

Work-------------------------------Patiently

Think---------------------------------Truthfully

Believe----------------------------------Correctly

Behave---------------------------------------Decently

Learn-------------------------------------------Practically

Plan---------------------------------------------------Orderly

Earn--------------------------------------------------------Honestly

Save------------------------------------------------------------Regularly

Spend-------------------------------------------------------------Intelligently

Love---------------------------------------------------------------- ---Passionately

ENJOY--- -----------------------------------------------------------------COMPLETELY

STANFORD UNIVERSITY !! True Story

From My InBox:

A lady in a faded gingham dress and her husband, dressed in a homespun threadbare suit, stepped off the train in Boston , and walked timidly without an appointment in to the Harvard University President's outer office. The secretary could tell in a moment that such backwoods, country hicks had no business at Harvard and probably didn't even deserve to be in Cambridge .
'We'd like to see the president,' the man said softly. 'He'll be busy all day,' the secretary snapped. 'We'll wait,' the lady replied.

For hours the secretary ignored them, hoping that the couple would finally become discouraged and go away.. They didn't, and the secretary grew frustrated and finally decided to disturb the president, even though it was a chore she always regretted. 'Maybe if you see them for a few minutes, they'll leave,' she said to him! He sighed in exasperation and nodded. Someone of his importance obviously didn't have the time to spend with them, and he detested Gingham dresses and Homespun suits cluttering up his outer office.

The president, stern faced and with dignity, strutted to ward the couple.The lady told him, 'We had a son who attended Harvard for one year.He loved Harvard.. He was happy here. But about a year ago, he was accidentally killed. My husband and I would like to erect a memorial to him, somewhere on campus.' The president wasn't touched.. He was shocked. 'Madam,' he said, gruffly, 'we can't put up a statue for every person who attended Harvard and died. If we did, this place would look like a cemetery.'

'Oh, no,' the lady explained quickly. 'We don't want to erect a statue. We thought we would like to give a building to Harvard.' The president rolled his eyes. He glanced at the gingham dress and homespun suit, then exclaimed, 'A building! Do you have any earthly idea how much a building costs? We have over seven and a half million dollars in the physical buildings here at Harvard.'
For a moment the lady was silent. The president was pleased. Maybe he could get rid of them now. The lady turned to her husband and said quietly, 'Is that all it costs to start a university? Why don't we just start our own?' Her husband nodded. The president's face wilted in confusion and bewilderment.

Mr. and Mrs. Leland Stanford got up and walked away,traveling to Palo Alto , California where they established the university that bears their name, Stanford University , a memorial to a son that Harvard no longer cared about. You can easily judge the character of others by how they treat those who they think can do nothing for them.

THIS IS A TRUE STORY By Malcolm Forbes about the founders of the now world renowned STANFORD UNIVERSITY !!

People will forget what you said,
People will forget what you did.
But people will never forget how you made them feel.

Life is too short for drama & petty things, so, laugh insanely, Love truly and forgive quickly.

The chalk guy is back'

From My InBox:

Where is the happiness?

From My InBox:

One day, the young lion asked his mom: "Mom, where is the happiness?"
Mom replied: "It's on your tail."
So the young lion keeps on chasing after his tail. But after a whole day of trying, he failed to get the happiness that was on his tail.
Then he told his mom about this, his mom smiled and said: "Son, you don't really need to chase after your happiness, as long as you keep going and moving forward, your happiness will always be with you."
Wish everyone of you find your happiness.

You can't decide the length of life, but you can control how you want to live it.
You can't control the weather, but you can control your mood.
You can't change your look, but you can smile.
You can't control others, but you can control yourself.
You can't foresee tomorrow, but you can utilize today wisely.
You can't win everything, but you can try your very best to achieve that.
Hope everyone can face the daily life positively and always be happy...

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Will I Live to see 80?

From My InBox:


Here's something to think about.


I recently picked a new primary care doctor. After two visits and exhaustive Lab tests, he said I was doing 'fairly well' for my age. (I just turned 65.)


A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking him, 'Do you think I'll live to be 80?'


He asked, 'Do you smoke tobacco, or drink beer or wine?'


'Oh no,' I replied. 'I'm not doing drugs, either!'


Then he asked, 'Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?


'I said, 'Not much... My former doctor said that all red meat is very unhealthy!'


'Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, sailing, hiking, or bicycling?'


'No, I don't,' I said.


He asked, 'Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or have a lots of sex?'


'No,' I said.


He looked at me and said,.. 'Then, why do you even give a shit?

The $2.99 Special

From My InBox:

If you are a senior you will understand this one, if you deal with seniors this should help you understand them a little better, and if you are not a senior yet.........God willing, someday you will be!



We went to breakfast at a restaurant where the "Senior's Special" was two eggs, bacon, hash browns and toast for $2.99.

'Sounds good,' my wife said. 'But I don't want the eggs.'

'Then, I'll have to charge you three dollars and forty-nine cents because you're ordering a la carte,' the waitress warned her.

'You mean I'd have to pay for not taking the eggs?' my wife asked incredulously.

'Yes!' stated the waitress.

'I'll take the "Special" then,' my wife said.

'How do you want your eggs?' the waitress asked.

'Raw and in the shell,' my wife replied. She took the two eggs home and baked a cake.



DON'T MESS WITH SENIORS!!!
WE'VE BEEN AROUND THE BLOCK MORE THAN ONCE!





Send this to the Seniors in your life. I'm sure they'll appreciate it!!


Even non-seniors will appreciate it!!!!!

MY PHILOSOPHY OF HOUSECLEANING!

From My InBox:

I do believe this with all my heart!
MY PHILOSOPHY OF HOUSECLEANING!

I don't do windows because ...

I love birds

and don't want one to run into a clean window

and get hurt.

I don't wax floors because ...

I am terrified a guest

will slip and get hurt

then I'll feel terrible

( plus they may sue me.)


I don't mind the dust bunnies because ...

They are very good company,

I have named most of them,

and they agree with everything I say.

I don't disturb cobwebs because ...

I want every creature

to have a home of their own.


I don't Spring Clean because ...

I love all the seasons

and don't want the others

to get jealous

I don't pull weeds

in the garden because ..

I don't want to get

in God's way,

HE is an excellent designer!


I don't put things away because ...

My husband

will never be able

to find them again.

I don't do gourmet meals
when I entertain because ...

I don't want my guests

to stress out over what

to make when

they invite me

over for dinner.


I don't iron because .

I choose to believe them

when they say "Permanent Press".


I don't stress much on anything because

"A Type" personalities

die young

and I want to stick around

and become a wrinkled up crusty ol' woman!!!!


REMEMBER . .. . .

Please SHARE this humor with other important Ladies ! ! ! ! (And Gentlemen, if you know any!)

The Secret

From My InBox:


One day, one friend asked another,

'How is it that you are always so happy?

You have so much energy,

and you never seem to get down.'





With her eyes smiling, she said,

'I know the Secret!'

'What secret is that?'

To which she replied,

'I'll tell you all about it,

but you have to promise to

share the Secret with others.'





'The Secret is this:

I have learned there is little I can do

in my life that will make me truly happy.

I must depend on God to make

me happy and to meet my needs.

When a need arises in my life,

I have to trust God to supply

according to HIS riches.

I have learned most of the time

I don't need half of what I think I do.

He has never let me down.

Since I learned that 'Secret', I am happy.'





The questioner's first thought was,

'That's too simple!'

But upon reflecting over her own life

she recalled how she thought a bigger house

would make her happy, but it didn't!

She thought a better paying job

would make her happy, but it hadn't.

When did she realize her greatest happiness?

Sitting on the floor with her grandchildren,

playing games, eating pizza or reading a story,

a simple gift from God.





Now you know it too!

We can't depend on people to make us happy.

Only GOD in His infinite wisdom can do that.

Trust HIM!

And now I pass the Secret on to you!

So once you get it, what will you do?





YOU have to tell someone the Secret, too!

That GOD in His wisdom will take care of YOU!

But it's not really a secret...

We just have to believe it and do it...

Really trust God!





Just Pass It On!

Do your best; let God do the rest.




Today I pray your troubles be less,

May your blessings be more,

and May nothing but happiness

come through your door!!

Amen

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Show love and appreciation

How do you tell your spouse that you still love him after 27 years? I created him a litter free birthday card with the help of my children.



Show your appreciation for all the little things your spouse do for you. According to Dr Gary Neuman it is good for your marriage.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

I LOVE Malaysia



Are you a Malaysian? Do you love Malaysia? I do.

In Malaysia you can find friends of many other races and beliefs. Though I am a Buddhist, I can enjoy many different festive holidays. I can celebrate with my Hindu friends during their Thaipusam and Deepavali celebrations. Last Hari Raya Aidilfitri my Muslim neighbours invited my family to their home for a grand feast.

Christmas is around the corner and, of course, I will have lots of friends and relatives to celebrate with. Let me share with you a Litter Free One Malaysia Christmas Greetings card I created for them.



Now that you get the picture, can you imagine the kind of support I can receive from my Malaysian friends culturally and spiritually when I am in trouble? So, Malaysians let's unite to celebrate the forthcoming festive occasion with prayers of heartfelt good intentions.

And if you are a foreigner who would like to know more about Malaysia, there is The Malaysia Page to check out.

Applied Leadership Inspirational Quotes

Quotes from leaders shared by Paulo Ferreira.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Consumer Health Online for Everyone

Other than Medlineplus there many other websites on health issues that can check out on.

But don't bother googling for them, University of Michigan Health Sciences Libraries have them listed out clearly in this slideshow.

Medlineplus National Library of Medicine

Empower yourself with knowledge about your ailments before you consult your doctor by checking out Medlineplus Interactive Health Tutorials for free medical information.

I am sure this site will be very useful for parents who have children living away from them. Get your children to consult the site for their ailments so that they can decide if they need medical attention. It will also give them confidence to communicate with their doctors when they are able to use the right medical terms.

You can also do a search about the ailments you would like to know more about at Medlineplus National Library of Medicine. Here is a slideshow on how you can make use of it.

Positive Attitude

Do you want to improve your life? Read this shared by Rajiv Bajaj on SlideShare.

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Power of Money, By Adam Khoo

I was just thinking of ways that I can let my children see the value of the things they have and this article came along.

===================================================================================
From My InBox:

A good read. Superb article ..EVERY one should read and share with children.... .
Inspirational ! SHARE IT WITH CHILDREN
Power of Money, By Adam Khoo
( Singapore 's youngest millionaire at 26 yrs.)

Some of you may already know that I travel around the region pretty frequently, having to visit and conduct seminars at my offices in Malaysia , Indonesia , Thailand and Suzhou ( China ). I am in the airport almost every other week so I get to bump into many people who have attended my seminars or have read my books.

Recently, someone came up to me on a plane to KL and looked rather shocked. He asked, 'How come a millionaire like you is traveling economy?' My reply was, 'That's why I am a millionaire. ' He still looked pretty confused.

This again confirms that greatest lie ever told about wealth(which I wrote about in my latest book 'Secrets of Self-Made Millionaires' ). Many people have been brainwashed to think that millionaires have to wear Gucci, Hugo Boss, Rolex, and sit on first class in air travel. This is why so many people never become rich because the moment that they earn more money, they think that it is only natural that they spend more, putting them back to square one.

The truth is that most self-made millionaires are frugal and only spend on what is necessary and of value. That is why they are able to accumulate and multiply their wealth so much faster.

Over the last 7 years, I have saved about 80% of my income while today I save only about 60% (because I have my wife, mother in law, 2 maids, 2 kids, etc. to support). Still, it is way above most people who save 10% of their income (if they are lucky).

I refuse to buy a first class ticket or to buy a $300 shirt because I think that it is a complete waste of money. However, I happily pay $1,300 to send my 2-year old daughter to Julia Gabriel Speech and Drama without thinking twice.
When I joined the YEO (Young Entrepreneur' s Orgn)a few years back (YEO) is an exclusive club open to those who are under 40 and make over $1m a year in their own business) I discovered that those who were self-made thought like me. Many of them with net worth well over $5m,travelled economy class and some even drove Toyota 's and Nissans,not Audis, Mercs, BMWs.

I noticed that it was only those who never had to work hard to build their own wealth (there were also a few ministers' and tycoons' sons in the club) who spent like there was no tomorrow. Somehow, when you did not have to build everything from scratch, you do not really value money. This is precisely the reason why a family's wealth (no matter how much) rarely lasts past the third generation

Thank God my rich dad foresaw this terrible possibility and refused to give me a cent to start my business.

Then some people ask me, 'What is the point in making so much money if you don't enjoy it?' The thing is that I don't really find happiness in buying branded clothes, jewellery or sitting first class. Even if buying something makes me happy it is only for a while, it does not last.

Material happiness never lasts, it just give you a quick fix. After a while you feel lousy again and have to buy the next thing which you think will make you happy. I always think that if you need material things to make you happy, then you live a pretty sad and unfulfilled life..

Instead, what makes me happy is when I see my children laughing and playing and learning so fast. What makes me happy is when I see my companies and trainers reaching more and more people every year in so many more countries.
What makes me really happy is when I read all the emails about how my books and seminars have touched and inspired someone's life.

What makes me really happy is reading all your wonderful posts about how this blog is inspiring you. This happiness makes me feel really good for a long time, much much more than what a Rolex would do for me.
I think the point I want to put across is that happiness must come from doing your life's work (be it teaching, building homes, designing,trading, winning tournaments etc.) and the money that comes is only a by-product. If you hate what you are doing and rely on the money you earn to make you happy by buying stuff, then I think that you are living a life of meaninglessness.

Lim Peh ka lu kong

You need to understand Hokkien in order to appreciate this.

From My InBox:

Dr. Quek made a routine house call to Mr. Lim, one of
his elderly patients.

He asks, "And how are you doing today, Mr. Lim?"

Mr. Lim replies, "I feel just fine, doc. But you know,
it's the strangest thing.

Every night when I get up to pang jio, the bathroom
light goes on for me automatically when I open the door!"

The doctor is worried that the old man is getting senile,
so he phones the man's son, and the son's wife answers.

The doctor tells her, "Mrs. Lim, I'm a little
concerned about your father-in-law.

It seems that when he gets up to urinate at night and
opens the bathroom door, the light somehow goes on...."

At which point, Mrs. Lim yells, "Aiyoh, Ah Seng!
Ah Pa pang jio in the fridge again!"
______________________________

QUESTION: How do you know frogs are Hokkien?
ANSWER : Because when it's cold, they go
"kwah,kwah, kwah".

QUESTION : How do Hokkien prawns laugh?
ANSWER: Hae hae hae.

QUESTION: How do Hokkien fish laugh?
ANSWER: Hoo hoo hoo.

And here is a classic .....

QUESTION: What's the difference between Ang-mor and
Hokkien fairy Tales?

ANSWER: Ang-mor fairy tales begin with "Once upon a time..."
and

Hokkien fairy tales begin with "Lim Peh ka lu kong..."

A joke to jmupstart your weekend

From My InBox:

Way back in the Empirical days of long unaccompanied tours in the Indian Army, a General and his loyal and long time Cpl batman (Jones) were demobbed following the disbandment of the Indian Army.

Both returned to Blighty and went their separate ways. Whilst the General retired happily with his wife, Cpl Jones was having a hard time finding a job.

One Saturday morning ex-Cpl Jones was out shopping in the village and to his great surprise he spotted the ex-General walking towards him on the footpath.

'Hello Sir!' The General looked up. 'Hello Jones fancy seeing you again. How are you?' 'Pretty bad Sir, I can't find a job and I'm broke' said Jones.
The General thought and said 'You know Jones I've really missed you after all those years together in India. How would you like a job as my batman here in England? I'll pay you a good rate and I'd want exactly the same service you gave me in India. I should like it if you could start first thing tomorrow with morning tea. How about it Jones?'. Well! Jones was beside himself with joy. 'Certainly Sir, thank you Sir. I'll see you tomorrow then'.

The following morning Jones went excitedly to the General's house, same procedure as in India. Made him a cup of tea, placed the newspaper and biscuits on a tray and took them upstairs to the General's bedroom. He entered the bedroom, noticed the General as usual was accompanied in bed. Jones pulled back the curtains and said 'Good morning General, it's a lovely morning, the sun's shining the birds are singing and here is your cup of tea'. 'Thank you Jones' said the sleepy General.

With that Jones went round the other side of the bed, pulled back the bedclothes from the General's wife, turned her over onto her stomach, slapped her backside and said 'Come on dear, back to the village!'.

The Woman and the Lord

From My InBox:

One day, when a seamstress was sewing while sitting close to a river, her thimble fell into the river. When she cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, "My dear child, why are you crying?" The seamstress replied that her thimble had fallen into the water and that she needed it to help her husband in making a living for their family. The Lord dipped His hand into the water and pulled up a golden thimble set with sapphires.

"Is this your thimble?" the Lord asked The seamstress replied, "No."
The Lord again dipped into the river. He held out a golden thimble studded with rubies.

"Is this your thimble?" the Lord asked. Again, the seamstress replied, "No."
The Lord reached down again and came up with a leather thimble.

"Is this your thimble ?" the Lord asked. The seamstress replied, "Yes." The Lord was pleased with the woman's honesty and gave her all three thimbles to keep, and the seamstress went home happy.

Some years later, the seamstress was walking with her husband along the riverbank, and her husband fell into the river and disappeared under the water. When she cried out, the Lord again appeared and asked her, "Why are you crying?" "Oh Lord, my husband has fallen into the river!"

The Lord went down into the water and came up with George Clooney. "Is this your husband?" the Lord asked.

"Yes," cried the seamstress. The Lord was furious. "You lied! That is an untruth!" The seamstress replied, "Oh, forgive me, my Lord. It is a misunderstanding. You see, if I had said 'no' to George Clooney, you would have come up with Brad Pitt.

Then if I said 'no' to him, you would have come up with my husband. Had I then said 'yes,' you would have given me all three. Lord, I'm not in the best of health and would not be able to take care of all three husbands, so THAT'S why I said 'yes' to George Clooney.

And so the Lord let her keep him.

The moral of this story is:

Whenever a woman lies, it's for a good and honorable reason, and in the best interest of others. That's our story, and we're sticking to it.

Signed,
All Us Women

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Simplicity

Learn to simplify. João Paulo Reis Alves shared some points on SlideShare.

The ABCs of Presentation

Presentations don't have to be boring as long as you know your ABCs. Josh Beatty shared all his tips on SlideShare.

Facebook for Business

Are you promoting your business on Facebook? If you are, learn how to engage your fans on Facebook. 360digitalinfluence shared some tips on Slideshare.

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Hidden Camera Surprise

Watch the video before you read article about this video on Snopes.

From My InBox:

Monday, November 2, 2009

Car A/C (Air Conditioning) MUST READ!!!

If you read the article on this posted on Snopes, you will know from a study made in 2001 that the cause of toxic fumes has more to do with the fuel used than the internal components.

But then, there is no harm opening your doors and winding down your windows to freshen up your car before you start your day in it.

From My InBox:

This has been checked on Snopes.com and there is truth to the article below. Again it’s not saying NOT to use your air conditioner but that we should open our windows to let out the harmful fumes (Benzene) prior to turning on the AC.

No wonder more folks are dying from cancer than ever before. We wonder where this stuff comes from but here is an example that explains a lot of the cancer causing incidents. Hmmm. Many people are in their cars first thing in the morning and the last thing at night, 7 days a week. As I read this, it makes me feel guilty and ill. Please pass this on to as many people as possible. Guess its not too late to make some changes

Car A/C (Air Conditioning) MUST READ!!!
Please do NOT turn on A/C as soon as you enter the car.

Open the windows after you enter your car and turn ON the AC after a couple of minutes.

Here's why:

According to a research, the car dashboard, sofa, air freshener emit Benzene, a Cancer causing toxin
(carcinogen - take time to observe the smell of heated plastic in your car).

In addition to causing cancer, Benzene poisons your bones, causes anemia and reduces white blood cells.

Prolonged exposure will cause Leukemia, increasing the risk of cancer.

Can also cause miscarriage.

Acceptable Benzene level indoors is 50mg per sq.ft. A car parked indoors with windows closed will contain 400-800 mg of Benzene.

If parked outdoors under the sun at a temperature above 60 degrees F, the Benzene level goes up to 2000-4000 mg, 40 times the acceptable level.

People who get into the car, keeping windows closed will inevitably inhale, in quick succession, excessive amounts of the toxin.

Benzene is a toxin that affects your kidney and liver.. What's worse, it is extremely difficult for your body to expel this toxic stuff.

So friends, please open the windows and door of your car - give time for interior to air out -dispel the deadly stuff - before you enter.

Thought:

'When someone shares something of value with you and you benefit from it, you have a moral obligation to share it with others.'

Mind Mapping

Amir Saif shared how you can learn develop ideas through mind mapping.

A Ghostly Greeting

From My InBox:

What did the mother ghost say to her son
when they got into the car?

Put on your sheet belt.



Why did the ghost go to Wal Mart?

To get more sheets.



What do you call a ghost who is a
child rearing expert?

Dr. Spook

Why are graveyards so noisy?

Because of all the coffin!



What do you call a ghost's mother and father?

Transparents!




Why are ghosts bad at telling lies?

Because you can see right through them!



What did one ghost say to another?

Do you believe in people?



Who did the ghost go with to the Halloween party?

With No-Body!

Have A Ghostly Halloween

Sunday, November 1, 2009

HOW TO KNOW YOU’RE GROWING OLDER.

If you have read this before from an earlier posting here, blame my age.

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From My InBox:

HOW TO KNOW YOU’RE GROWING OLDER.

Everything hurts and what doesn’t hurt, doesn’t work.
The gleam in your eyes is from the sun hitting your bifocals.
You feel like the night before, and you haven’t been anywhere.
Your little black book contains only names ending in M.D..
You get winded playing chess.
Your children begin to look middle-aged.
You finally reach the top of the ladder and find it leaning against the wall.
You join a health club and don’t go..
You begin to outlive enthusiasm.
You decide to procrastinate but then never get around to it.
Your mind makes contracts your body can’t meet
A dripping faucet causes an uncontrollable bladder urge.
You know all the answers but nobody asks you the questions.
You look forward to a dull evening.
You walk with your head held high trying to get used to your bifocals.
Your favourite part of the newspaper is 25 Years Ago Today
You turn out the light for economic reasons rather than romantic reasons.
You sit in a rocking chair and can´t get it going.
Your knees buckle and your belt won´t.
You regret all those mistakes resisting temptation.
You stop looking forward to your next birthday.
After painting the town red, you have to take a long rest before applying a second coat.
Dialing long distance wears you out.
You´re startled the first time you are addressed as òld timer`.
You remember today that yesterday was your wedding anniversary.
You just can´t stand people who are intolerant.
The best part of your day is over when the alarm clock goes off.
You burn the midnight oil after 9 p.m..
Your back goes out more than you do.
A fortune teller offers to read your face.
You get too much room in the house and not enough in the medicine cabinet.
You sink your teeth into a steak and they stay there.
The little grey haired lady you help across the street is your wife.
You get your exercise acting as a pall bearer for your friends who exercise.
Someone tells you to hold in your stomach and you are already are.


From: IFALPA News Bulletin.

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Microsoft tabletop

No, Microsoft has not diversified into producing furniture but check out the technology they can incorporate into one.

From My InBox:

Leap of faith

I think that one has to be loved by God very much to be able to take this leap of faith regularly and live to talk about it. Don't you?

1 in 2.7 men cheat on their partners!

Yes, it is true. 1 in 2.7 men cheat on their partners! I learn that from watching Dr Gary Neuman talking on Oprah today.




So do you think the reasons he gave are right? Let's hear from someone who had cheated.



So, what can victims do to help the offender from hurting their partners again?

Share these 10 rules for avoiding emotional infidelity posted by Laurie Pawlik from reading "Emotional Infidelity: How To Avoid It" by Gary Neuman with your cheating partner.

Work on stopping relationships from breaking up and save the environment.

Volunteer to improve your life

Empowerment International shared how volunteering can improve your life.



SHANGHAI MRT - HOW ABT IN SPORE?

I did not verify if these images were taken from MRTs in Shanghai but with so many mobile phones users who can easily snap photos, it is best to behave in public places.

From  My InBox: