Monday, December 29, 2008

Getting Santa to work 24/7

Katerinashares a sad stories this Christmas on SlideShare. She is very sure that Santa don't go to Ethiopia.

Where Santa Never Goes...
View SlideShare presentation or Upload your own. (tags: ethiopia in)


But I have good news. Santa will go anywhere, anytime of the year if you shop at online sites that help causes of your choice. Following are two I discovered from SlideShare:

Christmas Future

Do Good Channel

Here is another someone from GreenYes forum recommended:

Changing The Present

This is what you call shop for good and I hope this information will make Katerina happy again.

Sunday, December 28, 2008

10 Reasons Why God Created Eve!

From My InBox:

10. God worried that Adam would always be lost in the garden because he knew men would never ask directions.

9. God knew that Adam would one day need someone to hand him the TV remote because men don't want to see what's on television, they want to see what else is on television.

8. God knew that Adam would never buy a new fig leaf when the seat wore out and therefore would need Eve to get one for him.

7. God knew that Adam would never make a doctors appointment for himself.

6. God knew that Adam would never remember which night was garbage night.

5. God knew that if the world was to be populated there would have to be someone to bear children, because men would never be able to handle it.

4. As "Keeper of the Garden" Adam would never remember where he put his tools.

3. The scripture account of creation indicates that Adam needed someone to blame his troubles on when God caught him hiding in the garden.

2. As the Bible says, "It is not good for man to be alone." He only ends up getting himself in trouble.

AND the #1 REASON WHY GOD CREATED EVE is ...

*


*


*


*


1. When God had finished the creation of Adam, He stepped back, scratched his head and said, "I know I can do better than THIS!!"

"The Train Of Life"

From My InBox:

Some folks ride the train of life
Looking out the rear,
Watching miles of life roll by,
And marking every year.

They sit in sad remembrance,
Of wasted days gone by,
And curse their life for what it was,
And hang their heads and cry.

But, I don't concern myself with that,
I took a different vent,
I look forward to what life holds,
And not what has been spent.

So strap me to the engine.
As securely as I can be,
I want to be out on the front,
To see what I can see.

I want to feel the winds of change,
Blowing in my face,
I want to see what life unfolds,
As I move from place to place.

I want to see what's coming up,
Not looking at the past,
Life's too short for yesterdays,
It moves along too fast.

So if the ride gets bumpy,
While you are looking back,
Go up front and you may find,
Your life has jumped the track.

It's all right to remember,
'That's part of history,
But up front's where it's happening,
There's so much mystery.

The enjoyment of living,
Is not where we have been,
It's looking ever forward,
To another year and ten.

It's searching all the byways,
Never should you refrain,
For if you want to live your life,
You've gotta drive the train!

Thursday, December 25, 2008

"6 Thinking Hats" Sumarized

Nathanr07 summarized a book, "6 Thinking Hats" by Edward De Bono within 22 slides.

6 Thinking Hats
View SlideShare presentation or Upload your own. (tags: thinking skills)


Like that? If you love to read but don't have the time, check out postings of summarized business books shared by Ericw01 on SlideShare:

Six Thinking Hats
View SlideShare presentation or Upload your own. (tags: creativity innovation)


You can also subscribe to BusinessSummaries.com for their weekly summaries of best-selling business book from the United States. It's free for one month only though.

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

LIFE I AM THE NEW YEAR

From My InBox:

LIFE I AM THE NEW YEAR

Life I am the new year.
I am an unspoiled page in your book of time.

I am your next chance at the art of living.

I am your opportunity to practice
what you have learned about life
during the last twelve months.

All that you sought
and didn't find is hidden in me,
waiting for you to search it out
with more determination.

All the good that you tried for
and didn't achieve
is mine to grant
when you have fewer conflicting desires.

All that you dreamed but didn't dare to do,
all that you hoped but did not will,
all the faith that you claimed but did not have --
these slumber lightly,
waiting to be awakened
by the touch of a strong purpose.

I am your opportunity
to renew your allegiance to Him who said,
"behold, I make all things new."
I am the new year.




Seasons Greetings from Nancy

Seasons Greetings
View SlideShare presentation or Upload your own. (tags: holidays happy)

Remember "Home Alone"?

Have you watched "Home Alone"? Here is a version of "Pets Alone".

===========================================================================

Thursday, December 18, 2008

The Making of Sculpted Baby Cake

never lie to your mother!!

From My InBox:

Peter invited his mother for dinner, during the course of the meal; his mother couldn't help but notice how lovely Peter's flat mate, Joanne, was.

She had long been suspicious of a relationship between the two, and this only made her more curious.

Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between Peter and his flat mate than met the eye.

Reading his mum's thoughts, Peter volunteered, 'I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Joanne & I are just flat mates'.

About a week later, Joanne came to Peter saying, 'Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the frying pan, you don't suppose she took it do you?


'Well I doubt it, but I'll e-mail her just to be sure' said Peter.



So he sat down and wrote



DEAR MOTHER,

I'M NOT SAYING THAT YOU 'DID' TAKE THE FRYING PAN FROM MY HOUSE. I'M NOT SAYING THAT YOU 'DID NOT' TAKE THE FRYING PAN BUT THE FACT REMAINS THAT IT HAS BEEN MISSING EVER SINCE YOU WERE HERE FOR DINNER.

LOVE PETER



Several days later, Peter received an email from his mother which read



DEAR SON,


I'M NOT SAYING THAT YOU 'DO' SLEEP WITH JOANNE, AND I'M NOT SAYING THAT YOU 'DO NOT' SLEEP WITH JOANNE, BUT THE FACT REMAINS THAT IF SHE WAS SLEEPING IN HER OWN BED, SHE WOULD HAVE FOUND THE FRYING PAN BY NOW.

LOVE MUM


Lesson of the day,

NEVER LIE TO YOUR MOTHER

Tragedy at Trident

Avalok shares a true story on SlideShare.

Tragedy at Trident
View SlideShare presentation or Upload your own. (tags: singapore puhaindran)

bounce juggling in triangle

Michael Moschen creating music as he juggles in triangle.
===============================================================================
From My InBox:

THINGS YOU CAN'T RECOVER

Yassir Khairi shares on Slideshare.

THINGS YOU CAN'T RECOVER
View SlideShare presentation or Upload your own. (tags: things you)

Mathematics Of Life

From My InBox:

Mathematics Of Life
View SlideShare presentation or Upload your own. (tags: maths management)

WIFE‏

From My InBox:

Four guys and a woman are stuck in an elevator.

While they are stuck, they strike up a conversation.


The first guy says, 'I'm a Y.U.P.P.I.E., you know...

''Young, Urban, Professional, Peaceful, Intelligent, Ecologist.''


The second guy says, 'I'm a D.I.N.K.Y, you know...

Double Income, No Kids Yet. '


The third guy says, 'I'm a R.U.B., you know...

''Rich, Urban, Biker. '


The fourth guy says, I am a D.I.L.D.O, you know...

'Double Income, Little Dog Owner.''


They turn to the woman and ask her. ''What are you?''

She replies: 'I'm a WIFE, you know...




FORWARD TO MEN WHO WILL SOOOOOO ENJOY IT AND
WOMEN WHO HAVE A GOOD SENSE OF HUMOUR

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Sardar jee

From My InBox:

> Boss: Where were you born?
> Sardar: India ..
> Boss: which part?
> Sardar: What 'which part'? Whole body was born in India .
>
> 2 sardars were fixing a bomb in a car.
> Sardar 1: What would you do if the bomb
> explodes while fixing.
> Sardar 2: Dont worry, I have one more.
>
> Sardar: What is the name of your car?
> Lady: I forgot the name, but is starts with 'T'.
> Sardar: Oh, what a strange car, starts with Tea. All cars that I know
> start with petrol.
>
> Sardar joined new job. 1st day he worked till late evening on the
> computer. Boss was happy and asked "what you did till evening?"
> Sardar: Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so I made it alright.
>
> Museum Administrator: That's a 500-year-old statue u've broken.
> Sardar: Thank God! I thought it was a new one.
>
>
> At the scene of an accident a man was crying: O God! I have lost my hand,
> oh!
> Sardar: Control yourself. Don't cry. See that man. He has lost his head.
> Is he crying?
>
> Sardar: U cheated me.
> Shopkeeper: No, I sold a good radio to u.
> Sardar: Radio label shows Made in Japan but radio says this is 'All India
> Radio! '
>
> NOW THE LAST TWO ULTIMATE:
> In an interview, Interviewer: How does an electric motor run?
> Sardar: Dhhuuuurrrrrrrrrr. .....
> Inteviewer shouts: Stop it.
> Sardar: Dhhuurrrr dhup dhup dhup...
>
> Tourist: Whose skeleton is that?
> Sardar: An old king's skeleton.
> Tourist: Who's that smaller skeleton next to it?
> Sardar: That was same king's skeleton when he was a child.

10 most stupid questions...

From My InBox:

10 most stupid questions people usually ask in obvious situations.

1. At the movies: When you meet acquaintances/friends...
Stupid Question:-
Hey, what are you doing here?
Answer:-
Dont u know, I sell tickets in black over here..

2. In the bus: A heavy lady wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on your feet...
Stupid Question:-
Sorry, did that hurt?
Answer:-
No, not at all, I'm on local anesthesia.....why don't you try again.

3. At a funeral: One of the teary-eyed people ask...
Stupid Question:-
Why, why him, of all people.
Answer:-
Why? Would it rather have been you?

4. At a restaurant: When you ask the waiter
Stupid Question:-
Is ! the "Butter Paneer Masala" dish good??
Answer:-
No, its terrible and made of adulterated cement. We occassionaly also spit in it.

5. At a family get-together: When some distant aunt meets you after years...
Stupid Question:-
Munna, Chickoo, you've become so big.
Answer:-
Well you haven't particularly shrunk yourself.

6. When a friend announces her wedding, and you ask...
Stupid Question:-
Is the guy you're marrying good?
Answer:-
No,he's a miserable wife-beating , insensitive lout...it's just the money.

7. When you get woken up at midnight by a phone call...
Stupid Question:-
Sorry. were you sleeping?
Answer:-
No. I was doing research on whether the Zulu tribes in Africa marry or not. You thought I was sleeping....you dumb witted moron.

8. When you see a friend/colleague with evidently shorter hair...
Stupid Question:-
Hey have you had a hai! rcut?
Answer:-
No, its autumn and I'm shedding......


9. At the dentist when he's sticking pointed objects in your mouth...
Stupid Question:-
Tell me if it hurts?
Answer:-
No it wont. It will just bleed.

10. You are smoking a cigarette and a cute woman asks...
Stupid Question:-
Oh, so you smoke.
Answer:-
Gosh, it's a miracle .......it was a piece of chalk and now it's in flames!!!

HOUSE WITH LIGHT

Need help getting you in the mood for X'mas? Watch this.

=================================================================
My InBox:

ARE YOU BUYING AND EATING " BABY CARROTS " ? (False)

According to Urban Legends and Snopes washing baby carrots and other ready-to-eat fresh vegetable products, such as bagged salads in a chlorine-and-water solution before packaging is an accepted practice in processing fresh cut ready to eat vegetables. The purpose of washing vegetables with chlorinated water is to protect consumers' health by reducing bacteria that could cause food borne illnesses.

The "white covering" that you see on refrigerated baby carrots or "cocktail carrots" is a harmless discoloration resulting from moisture loss and/or abrasion during storage.

You can look at the labels and opt not to buy "baby cut carrots". Go for "baby carrots" which have been harvested while they are still young and tiny.

====================================================================
From My In Box:

Baby Carrots are not what you think they are

'The following is information from a farmer who grows and packages carrots for

IGA, METRO, LOBLAWS, etc.

The small cocktail (baby) carrots you buy in small plastic bags are made using the

larger carrots which are put through a machine which cuts and shapes them into

cocktail carrots .

What you may not know and should know is the following: once the carrots are cut

and shaped into cocktail carrots they are dipped in a solution of water and chlorine

in order to preserve them (this is the same chlorine used your pool) and since they

do not have their skin or natural protective covering, they give them a higher dose

of chlorine.

You will notice that once you keep these carrots in your refrigerator for a few days,

a white covering will form on the carrots; this is the chlorine which resurfaces.

At what cost do we put our health at risk to have esthetically pleasing and simple

to serve vegetables which are unhealthy?

We do hope that this information can be passed on to as many people as possible

in the hopes of informing them where these carrots come from and how they are

processed. Chlorine is a very well known carcinogen.'

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

We're just funny sometimes...

My InBox:

If money doesn't grow on trees, then why do banks have branches?
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
Why doesn't glue stick to its bottle?
Why do you still call it a building when its already built?
If its true that we are here to help others,
What are others here for?
If you're not supposed to drink and drive, Why do bars have parking
lots?

We're just funny sometimes...

That's life!!!!

God created the donkey and said to him.
"You will be a donkey. You will work un-tiringly from sunrise to sunset
carrying burdens on your back. You will eat grass,
you will have no intelligence and you will live 50 years."
The donkey answered:
"I will be a donkey, but to live 50years is much. Give me only 20years"
God granted his wish.
....................................................................
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

God created the dog and said to him:
"You will guard the house of man. You will be his best Friend.
You will eat the scraps that he gives you and
you will live 30years.
You will be a dog. "
The dog answered:
"Sir, to live 30years is too much,give me only15 years.
" God granted his wish.size=6>
........................................................................
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
God created the monkey and said to him:
"You will be a monkey. You will swing from branch to branch doing tricks.
You will be amusing and you will live
20 years. "
The monkey
answered:
"To live 20years is too much, give me only 10years."
God granted his wish.
....................................................................
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Finally God created man and said to him:
"You will be man, the only rational creature on the face of the earth.
You will use your intelligence to become master over all the animals.
You will dominate the world and you will live 20years."

Man responded:
"Sir, I will be a man but to live only
20 years is very little,
give me the 30years that the donkey refused,
the 15years that the dog did not want and
the 10years the monkey refused.
" God granted man's wish ................................................................

And since then, man lives
20 years as a man ,

marries and spends
30 years like a donkey,
working and carrying all the burdens on his back.

Then when his children are grown,
he lives 15years like a dog taking care of the house
and eating whatever is given to him,

so that when he is old,
he can retire and live 10years like a monkey,
going from house to house and from one son or
daughter to another doing tricks to amuse his grandchildren.

That's Life.

Life is like having a cup of tea.

From My InBox:

Life is like having a cup of tea. You sit by the side of the window, lift the cup and take a careless sip, only to realize somebody forgot to put the sugar. Too lazy to go for it....... you somehow struggle through the sugarless cup....until you discover undisclosed sugar crystal sitting at the bottom.......

To laugh often and much
To win the respect
Of intelligent people
And the affection of children;
To earn the appreciation
Of honest critics and endure
The betrayal of false friends,
To appreciate beauty,
To find the best in others,
To leave the world
A bit better, whether
By a healthy child,
A garden patch
Or a redeemed social condition,
To know even one life
Has breathed easier
Because you have lived.

That is to have succeeded .......

Saturday Day - Working day !!!

Have you seen the expression when Saturday turns out to be a working day……………

Go Down….






Good Morning. Have a Wonderful Day!!!!!!!!!!!!!

From My InBox:

CONFIDENCE

Once, all village people decided to pray for rain.

On the day of prayer all people gathered and only one boy

came with an Umbrella,

that's Confidence

***
TRUST

Trust should be like the feeling of a one year old baby

when you throw him in the air,

he laughs......because he knows you will catch him;

that's Trust

***
HOPE

Every night we go to bed,

we have no assurance to get up alive in the next morning

but still you have plans for the coming day ;

that's Hope

***
Have Confidence, Trust & Never Lose Hope...

Friday, December 12, 2008

A Meltdown Cheers?

Avalok shares on SlideShare that some creativity can bring some cheers to the current economic situation.

A quiz for people who know everything!!!

This is a quiz for people who know everything! I found out in a hurry that I didn't. These are not trick questions. They are straight questions with straight answers

1. Name the one sport in which neither the spectators nor the participants know the score or the leader until the contest ends.


2. What famous North American landmark is constantly moving backward?

3. Of all vegetables, only two can live to produce on their own for several growing seasons. All other vegetables must be replanted every year. What are the only two perennial vegetables?

4. What fruit has its seeds on the outside?

5. In many liquor stores you can buy pear brandy, with a real pear inside the bottle. The pear is
whole and ripe, and the bottle is genuine; it hasn't been cut in any way. How did the pear get inside the bottle?

6. Only three words in standard English begin with the letters 'dw' and they are all common words. Name two of them.

7. There are 14 punctuation marks in English grammar. Can you name at least half of them?

8. Name the only vegetable or fruit that is never sold frozen, canned, processed, cooked, or in any other form except fresh.

9. Name 6 or more things that you can wear on your feet beginning with the letter 'S.'



THIS IS PRETTY COOL - HAVE A GREAT DAY










scroll for answers













Answers To Quiz:

1. The one sport in which neither the spectators nor the participants know the score or the leader until the contest ends ... Boxing

2. North American landmark constantly moving backward s . Niagara Falls (The rim is worn down about two and a half feet each year because of the millions of gallons of water that rush over it every minute.)

3. Only two vegetables that can live to produce on their own for several growing seasons ... Asparagus and rhubarb.

4. The fruit with its seeds on the outside ... Strawberry.

5. How did the pear get inside the brandy bottle? It grew inside the bottle. (The bottles are placed over pear buds when they are small, and are wired in place on the tree. The bottle
is left in place for the entire growing season. When the pears are ripe, they are snipped off at the stems.)

6. Three English words beginning with 'dw' Dwarf, dwell and dwindle .

7. Fourteen punctuation marks in English grammar ... Period, comma, colon, semicolon, dash, hyphen, apostrophe, question mark, exclamation point, quotation marks, brackets, parenthesis, braces, and ellipses.

8. The only vegetable or fruit never sold frozen, canned, processed, cooked, or in any other form but fresh Lettuce.

9. Six or more things you can wear on your feet beginning with 'S' Shoes, socks, sandals, sneakers, slippers, skis, skates, snowshoes, stockings, stilts.

PLEASE DO YOUR PART
......... Today is National Mental Health Day. You can do your part by remembering to send an e-mail to at least one unstable person !

Well, my job's done!

Racial Jokes

From My In Box:

THE GENIE

A drunkard jobless Indian stumbled onto a lamp. He
rubbed on it and a magical genie Singh with a turban
appeared and said "I grant you two wishes, Macha.."

The Indian thought for a while and said "OK, I want
to be rich like a Chinaman!

Poof! When the smoke disappeared, the Indian was
smartly dressed, hair jelled and combed back like
Chow Yuen Fatt complete with handphone in hand.
As he walked towards his brand new shiny Mercedes,
he noticed his own reflection.

Not only was he smartly dressed, he was also much
fairer in complexion. The shocked Indian angrily
summoned the genie and complained "Are you
deaf or what? I said I wanted to be rich like a
Chinaman, not become a Chinaman!"

I don't want to be a Chinaman because they cheat,
lie and con their way to become rich..."

The genie reminded him that he's entitled to one
more wish "What do you want then, Muthu?"
To which Muthu quickly replied "I just want to be
rich and I don't want to work!"

Poof! He was transformed into a Bumiputra...

---------------------------------------------------

THE PRINTING PRESS

What do you get when you put 100 Chinamen under a
printing press?
The Yellow Pages

What do you get when you put 100 Indians under a
printing press?
A year's supply of carbon paper.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

WHEN YOU DRIVE A PROTON SAGA ...................

What's the first thing that come to your mind when
you see a Chinese man driving a BMW?
A pimp.

What's the first thing that comes to your mind
when you see a Malay man driving a BMW?
Ahmad.

What's the first thing that comes to your mind
when you see an Indian man driving a BMW?
A car jockey.

What's the first thing that comes to your mind
when you see a Bhai driving a BMW?
A car repossessor.

Clean can be funny.

From My InBox:

One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a very Sexy nightie. 'Tie me up,' she purred, 'and you can do anything you want.' So he tied her up and went golfing.

*****************************************
A woman came home, screeching her car into the driveway, and ran into the house. She slammed the door and shouted at the top of her lungs, 'Honey, pack your bags. I won the lottery!'
The husband said, 'Oh my God! What should I pack, beach stuff or mountain stuff?' 'Doesn't matter,' she said. 'Just get out.'

********************************************
Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and the other is a husband.

************************************
A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a driver's license. First, of course, he had to take an eye sight test The optician showed him a card with the letters


'C Z W I X N O S T A C Z.' 'Can you read this?' the optician asked. 'Read it?' the Polish guy replied, 'I know the guy.'

***********************************************
Mother Superior called all the nuns together and said to them, 'I must tell you all something. We have a case of gonorrhea in the convent.' 'Thank God,' said an elderly nun at the back. 'I'm so tired of chardonnay.

********************************************
A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen. 'Careful,' he said, 'CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my gosh! You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my gosh! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK! Careful. CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!' The wife stared at him.
'What in the world is wrong with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?' The husband calmly replied, 'I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving.'

***************************************************************
Fifty-one years ago, Herman James, a North Carolina mountain man, was drafted by the Army. On his first day in basic training, the Army issued him a comb. That afternoon the Army barber sheared off all his hair. On his second day, the Army issued Herman a toothbrush. That afternoon the Army dentist yanked seven of his teeth. On the third day, the Army issued him a jock strap. The Army has been looking for Herman for 51 years.
*******************************************

Forward this to at least 5 people and see what comes on your screen, you will laugh your head off!!!!!!!


This works. I don't know how

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Super sexy models 2008....yummy...18SXXXXX

From My InBox:

super models with sexy poses

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

TO: God.com

From My InBox:

Dear Lord,

Every single evening
As I'm lying here in bed,
This tiny little Prayer
Keeps running through my head:

God bless all my family
Wherever they may be,
Keep them warm
and safe from harm
For they're so close to me.

And God, there is one more thing
I wish that you could do;
Hope you don't mind me asking,
Please bless my computer too.

Now I know that it's unusual
To Bless a motherboard,
But listen just a second
While I explain it to you, Lord.

You see, that little metal box
Holds more than odds and ends;
Inside those small compartments
Rest so many of my friends.

I know so much about them
By the kindness that they give,
And this little scrap of metal
Takes me in to where they live.

By faith is how I know them
Much the same as you.
We share in what life brings us
And from that our friendships grew.

Please take an extra minute
From your duties up above,
To bless those in my address book
That's filled with so much love.

Wherever else this prayer may reach
To each and every friend,
Bless each e-mail inbox
And each person who hits 'send'.

When you update your Heavenly list
On your own Great CD-ROM,
Bless everyone who says this prayer
Sent up to GOD.com

Amen

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

A riddle for the day

From My InBox:

Arnold Schwarzenegger has a big one.
Michael J. Fox has a small one.
Madonna doesn't have one.
The Pope has one but doesn't use it.
Clinton uses his all the time.
Mickey Mouse has an unusual one.
Liberace never used his on women.
Jerry Seinfeld is very, very proud of his.
Cher claims that she took on 3.
We never saw Lucy use Desi's.
What is it? Answer below! (this is pretty good )











The answer is: "A Last Name"
You didn't think I'd tell you a dirty joke, did you?LOL

Racial Jokes

From My InBox:

The ASIAN
Has one Wife
Has one Girlfriend
But he loves his wife the most

The AMERICA
Has one Wife
Has one Girlfriend
But he loves his girlfriend the most

The ARAB
Has 4 Wives
Has 4 Girlfriends
But he loves his housemaid the most
====================================

THE GEOGRAPHY OF A WOMAN

Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa, half discovered, half wild, fertile and naturally beautiful!

Between 23 and 30, a woman is like Europe, well developed and open to trade, especially for someone with cash.

Between 31 and 35, a woman is like Spain, very hot, relaxed and convinced of her own beauty.

Between 36 and 40, a woman is like Greece, gently aging but still a warm and desirable place to visit.

Between 41 and 50, a woman is like Great Britain, with a glorious and all conquering past.

Between 51 and 60, a woman is like Israel, has been through war and doesn't make the same mistakes twice, takes care of business.

Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Canada, self-preserving, but open to meeting new people.

After 70, she becomes Tibet, wildly beautiful, with a mysterious past and the wisdom of the ages...only those with an adventurous spirit and a thirst for spiritual knowledge visit there.

THE GEOGRAPHY OF A MAN

Between 1 and 70, a man is like Iran, Ruled by Nuts.

Monday, December 8, 2008

Seek inspiration in Pravs World

Have you heard of Pravs J? He is the one who started Pravs World. It's a place where you can find lots of inspirational quotes. Avalok shares his collection of such quotes from Pravs World on SlideShare.



You can subscribe to Pravs World if you would like to receive your personal dosage of free inspirations and thank Avalok for this lead.

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

DIY Acupressure

Find the Pressure Points at Acu XO and see if you can apply some pressure to these points to produce health-promoting effects.

Dr Ben Kim introduce three specific points that you can stimulate on a regular basis to experience significant health benefits in his article, How to Use Acupressure to Promote Your Best Health.

Monday, December 1, 2008

Kasih Charity Fair Dec 20 2008

From My InBox:

> Dear Friends,
>
> At this difficult economic down time, being sick is an added tragedy.
> Kasih Hospice takes on the responsibility to provide complete free
> medical and nursing care, as well as companionship to terminally ill
> patients. But at this difficult time, donations are also slow in
> coming in. We thus are organising a charity fair,to help raise fund
> to support our work.
>
> You can help by sending good wishes, selling coupons[ which can be
> collected at Kasih premise] or come on that day to participate.
>
> You support is much appreciated. Please see flyer below and if you
> can, forward to your friends
>
> Thank you very much.
>
> With best regards,
> Dr.Goh Pik Pin
> President, Kasih Hospice
> Chairperson kasih Foundation
>
>
>
>
>
>
> Kasih Charity Fair
>
> Date 20 Dec 2008 (Saturday)
>
> Time 9 am to 3 pm
>
> Address: 7, Jalan 14/ 29, Petaling Jaya. T: 03 7960 7424 F 03 7956 6442
>
> E:kasihhospciecare@yahoo.com W: www.kasih-hospice.org
>
> Kasih Hospice is a charity organization which provides care for
> terminally ill patients and provide medicine, medical equipment and
> companionship completely free of charge .It 's work is financially
> supported by Kasih Foundation, a non profit organization with tax
> exemption status. Being non-profit, it needs public support.
>
> Please join us at Kasih Charity Fair and bring along your families
> and friends for delicious home-made food & fun games, useful
> household items, plants and book. For golden citizens, you can have
> free medical and eye examinations.
>
> All for the good cause of supporting hospice services provided by
> Kasih Hospice Care.
>
> The food comes from the kind bounty of our mothers, drinks are the
> nectar of love prepared by our sisters and medical check up by our
> doctors and nurses with gentlest hands and caring hearts.
>
> Understanding the value of serving the sick and that everyone can do
> something to contribute, in kind and in action, Teo Jia Her, a 12
> year old boy, bravely volunteered to shave his head bald to help raise
> funds for the work of KHC. Courage for charity. A fine example for the
> rest of us to follow!
>
> When we have all the time in the world …
>
> Remember
>
> There are some who do not.
>
> Hence, cherish the time we have and
>
> Help those who are in need when we can.
>
> Thank you.
>
> Message from the organising committee, Kasih Charity Fair

Coke+Ajinomoto Can be Used To Rape Ladies (False)

According to Snopes, some people who are monosodium glutamate (MSG) intolerant do experience the adverse effects of drowsiness and rapid heartbeat. There are no scientific facts to back the claim that when coke is mixed with MSG, it becomes an aphrodisiac.

But do heed the advise not to accept any drinks from any stranger or acquaintance.
===================================================================================

From My InBox:

DO YOU KNOW ? Coke+Ajinomoto Can be Used To Rape Ladies

Dear friends,

I received a news about the recent tactic used to spike
girls' drink.

It is a cheap and widely used method.

This method was used in Canny Ong murder.

Rapist uses this method.

Coca-cola+ajinomoto/mono sodium glutamate = a medicine
which will cause drowsiness and excitement in the victim.

This mixture is poisonous if used too often on the victim.

Please send this to all your female friends, sisters, & your loved ones and ask

them to beware.

DO NOT accept coca-cola or any other drinks from stranger / even
if it is your friend that you are not very close with.

Regards,

Hishamuddin Alias ( ASP )
Jabatan Siasatan Jenayah Berat
IPK Kuala Lumpur

SCHOOL -- 1957 vs. 2007

My InBox:

Scenario:
Jack goes quail hunting before school, pulls into school parking lot with shotgun in gun rack.
1957 - Vice Principal comes over, looks at Jack's shotgun, goes to his car and gets his shotgun to show Jack.
2007 - School goes into lock down, FBI called, Jack hauled off to
jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counsellors called in for
traumatized students and teachers.

Scenario:
Johnny and Mark get into a fist fight after school.
1957 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up buddies.
2007 - Police called, SWAT team arrives, arrests Johnny and Mark. Charge them with assault, both expelled even though
Johnny started it.


Scenario:
Jeffrey won't be still in class, disrupts other students.
1957 - Jeffrey sent to office and given a good paddling by the Principal. Returns to class, sits still and does not
disrupt class again.
2007 - Jeffrey given huge doses of Ritalin. Becomes a zombie. Tested for ADD. School gets extra money from state
because Jeffrey has a disability.


Scenario:
Billy breaks a window in his neighbor's car and his Dad gives him a whipping with his belt.
1957 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college, and becomes a successful businessman.
2007 - Billy's dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy removed to foster care and joins a gang. State psychologist
tells Billy's sister that she remembers being abused herself and their dad goes to prison. Billy's mom has affair
with psychologist.


Scenario:
Mark gets a headache and takes some aspirin to school.
1957 - Mark shares aspirin with Principal out on the smoking dock.
2007 - Police called, Mark expelled from school for drug violations. Car searched for drugs and weapons.

Scenario:
Pedro fails high school English.
1957 - Pedro goes to summer school, passes English, goes to college.
2007 - Pedro's cause is taken up by state. Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that teaching English as a
requirement for graduation is racist. ACLU files class action lawsuit against state school system and Pedro's English
teacher. English banned from core curriculum. Pedro given diploma anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living
because he cannot speak English.

Scenario:
Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from 4th of July, puts them in a model airplane paint bottle, blows up a red
ant bed.
1957 - Ants die.
2007- BATF, Homeland Security, FBI called. Johnny charged with domestic terrorism, FBI investigates parents, siblings
removed from home, computers confiscated, Johnny's Dad goes on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again.

Scenario:
Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee. He is found crying by his teacher, Mary. Mary hugs him
to comfort him.
1957 - In a short time, Johnny feels better and goes on playing.
2007 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces 3 years in State Prison. Johnny
undergoes 5 years of therapy.


This should hit every e-mail box to show how stupid we have become! .

Sunday, November 30, 2008

Tirol, Germany

Heard of Tirol in Germany? My friend emailed me slides of the place. It looks like a heavenly place to visit. MaWitch shared the same slides on Slideshare.

From My InBox:

Tirol
View SlideShare presentation or Upload your own. (tags: tirol osterreich)

Saturday, November 29, 2008

Some facts about Mammograms.

Since I have written about "MAMMOGRAM SERVICE AT SUBSIDISED RATE", I think it is best to also share this article, "Mammograms: What For, Exactly?" by Dr. Ben Kim.

He wrote that a routine mammogram screening typically subjects a woman to more than 1000 times the amount of radiation that is used for a single chest x-ray. As we all know, radiation is capable of contributing to cancer and heart disease.

He added that performing a breast self-examination is a better option and provided a link to Pictures of Breast Self-Exam.

Read the article yourself for the rest of the reasons he provided, based on information on mammograms by Samuel Epstein, M.D.

Friday, November 28, 2008

The origin of yoga moves?

From My InBox:

friends kids quotes

You can find more of such quotes at www.kute-group.blogspot.com

From My InBox:

10 Funny phone answering messages

From My InBox:

10. My wife and I can't come to the phone right now, but if you'll leave your name and number, we'll get back to you as soon as we're finished.

9. Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My owners do not need siding, windows or a hot tub, and their carpets are clean. They give to charity at the office and don't need their picture taken. If you're still with me, leave your name and home phone number and they will get back to you.

8. This is not an answering machine - this is a telepathic thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your number, and your reason for calling..... And I'll think about returning your call.

7. Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets.

6. Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my bank, you didn't lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don't worry, I have LOTS of money.

5. A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why we're not here. So, leave a message.

4. Hello! If you leave a message, I'll call you soon. If you leave a "sexy" message, I'll call sooner.

3. Hi. Now YOU say something.

2. Hi. I'm probably home; I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you.

1. Hello, you've reached Jim and Sonya. We can't pick up the phone right now, because we're doing something we really enjoy. Sonya likes doing it up and down, and I like doing it left to right...real slow. So leave a message, and when we're done brushing our teeth, we'll call you back .

Thursday, November 27, 2008

Enlighted perspective‏

According to Snopes, these thoughts were not written by Andy Rooney but were a collection of statements from people from the ages of between 5 and 95 printed in a book, "Live and Learn and Pass It On, Volume II".

==============================================================================
From My InBox:

They're written by Andy Rooney, a man who has the gift of saying so much with so few words.Enjoy.......

I've learned.... That the best classroom in the world is at the feet of an elderly person.

I've learned.... That when you're in love, it shows.

I've learned.... That just one person saying to me, 'You've made my day!' makes my day.

I've learned.... That having a child fall asleep in your arms is one of the most peaceful feelings in the world.

I've learned.... That being kind is more important than being right.

I've learned.... That you should never say no to a gift from a child.

I've learned.... That I can always pray for someone when I don't have the strength to help him in some other way.

I've learned.... That no matter how serious your life requires you to be, everyone needs a friend to act goofy with.

I've learned.... That sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold and a heart to understand.

I've learned.... That simple walks with my father around the block on summer nights when I was a child did wonders for me as an adult.

I've learned.... That life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.

I've learned.... That we should be glad God doesn't give us everything we ask for.

I've learned.... That money doesn't buy class.

I've learned.... That it's those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular .

I've learned... That under everyone's hard shell is someone who wants to be appreciated and loved.

I've learned.... That to ignore the facts does not change the facts.

I 've learned.... That when you plan to get even with someone, you are only letting that person continue to hurt you.

I've learned.... That love, not time, heals all wounds.

I've learned.... That the easiest way for me to grow as a person is to surround myself with people smarter than I am.

I've learned.... That everyone you meet deserves to be greeted with a smile.

I've learned.... That no one is perfect until you fall in love with them.

I've learned... That life is tough, but I'm tougher.

I've learned.... That opportunities are never lost, someone will take the ones you miss.

I've learned .... That when you harbor bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere.

I've learned.... That I wish I could have told my Mom and Dad that I loved them one more time before they passed away.

I've learned.... That one should keep his words both soft and tender, because tomorrow he may have to eat them.

I've learned.... That a smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks.

I've learned.... That when your newly born grandchild holds your little finger in his little fist, that you're hooked for life.

I've learned.... That everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you're climbing it.

I've learned.... That the less time I have to work with, the more things I get done.

Scotch with 2 drops of water‏

Scotch with two drops of water.

A lady goes to the bar on a cruise ship and orders a Scotch with two drops of water. As the bartender gives her the drink she says, "I'm on this cruise to celebrate my 80th birthday and it's today."

The bartender says, "Well, since it's your birthday, I'll buy you a drink. In fact, this one is on me."


As the woman finishes her drink, the woman to her right says, "I would like to buy you a drink, too."

The old woman says, "Thank you. Bartender, I want a Scotch with two drops of water."

"Coming up," says the bartender.





As she finishes that drink, the man to her left says, "I would like to buy you one, too."

The old woman says, "Thank you. Bartender, I want another Scotch with two drops of water."

"Coming right up," the bartender says. As he gives her the drink, he says, "Ma'am, I'm dying of curiosity. Why the Scotch with only two drops of water?"

The old woman replies, "Sonny, when you're my age, you've learned how to hold your liquor. Holding your water, however, is a whole other issue."



'OLD' IS WHEN...
Your sweetie says, 'Let's go upstairs
and make love,' and you answer,
'Pick one; I can't do both!'


'OLD' IS WHEN...
Your friends compliment you
on your new alligator shoes
and you're barefoot.


'OLD' IS WHEN...
A sexy babe catches your fancy
and your pacemaker opens the garage door,

'OLD' IS WHEN...
Going bra less
pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.

'OLD' IS WHEN...
You don't care where your spouse goes,
just as long as you don't have to go along.

'OLD' IS WHEN...
You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police

'OLD' IS WHEN...
'Getting a little action'
means you don't need to take any fiber today.

'OLD' IS WHEN...
'Getting lucky' means you find your car
in the parking lot.

'OLD' IS WHEN...
An 'all nighter' means not getting up
to use the bathroom.

AND

'OLD' IS WHEN...
You are not sure these are jokes

Are We Friends without Faces.... !!!

From My InBox:

We sit and we type, and we stare at our screens,
We all have to wonder, what this possibly means.

With our mouse we roam, through the rooms in a maze,
Looking for something or someone, as we sit in a daze.

We chat with each other, we type all our woes,
Small groups we do form, and gang up on our foes.

We wait for somebody, to type out our name,
We want recognition, but it is always the same.

We give kisses and hugs, and sometimes flirt In,
PMs we chat deeply, and reveal why we're hurtin.

We do form friendships - but - why we don't know,
But some of these friendships, will flourish and grow.

Why is it on screen, we can be so bold,
Telling our secrets, that have never been told.

Why is it we share, the thoughts in our mind,
With those we can't see, as though we were blind.

The answer is simple, it is as clear as a bell,
We all have our problems, and need someone to tell.

We can't tell real people, but tell someone we must,
So we turn to the 'puter, and to those we can trust.

Even though it is crazy, the truth still remains,
They are Friends Without Faces, and odd little names.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Beautiful short story about love

From My InBox:

Maria married Peter this day. At the end of the wedding party,

Maria's mother gave her a newly opened bank saving passbook.

With Rs.1000 deposit amount.

Mother: 'Maria, take this passbook. Keep it as a record of your marriage life. When there's something happy and memorable happened in your new life, put some money in. Write down what it's about next to the line. The more memorable the event is, the more money you can put in. I've done the first one for you today. Do the others with Peter. When you look back after years, you can know how much happiness you've had.'

Maria shared this with Peter when getting home. They both thought it was a great idea and were anxious to know when the second deposit can be made.

This was what they did after certain time:

- 7 Feb: Rs.100, first birthday celebration for Peter after marriage

- 1 Mar: Rs.300, salary raise for Maria

- 20 Mar: Rs.200, vacation trip to Bali

- 15 Apr: Rs.2000, Maria got pregnant

- 1 Jun: Rs.1000, Peter got promoted

...... and so on...

However, after years, they started fighting and arguing for trivial things. They didn't talk much. They regretted that they had married the nastiest people in the world.... no more love...Kind of typical nowadays, huh?

One day Maria talked to her Mother:

'Mom, we can't stand it anymore. We agree to divorce. I can't imagine how I decided to marry this guy!!!'

Mother: 'Sure, girl, that's no big deal. Just do whatever you want if you really can't stand it. But before that, do one thing first.


Remember the saving passbook I gave you on your wedding day? Take out all money and spend it first. You shouldn't keep any record of such a poor marriage.'

Maria thought it was true. So she went to the bank, waiting at the queue and planning to cancel the account.

While she was waiting, she took a look at the passbook record. She looked, and looked, and looked. Then the memory of all the previous joy and happiness just came up her mind. Her eyes were then filled with tears. She left and went home.

When she was home, she handed the passbook to Peter, asked him to spend the money before getting divorce.

The next day, Peter gave the passbook back to Maria. She found a new deposit of Rs.5000. And a line next to the record: 'this is the day I notice how much I've loved you thru out all these years. How
much happiness you've brought me.'

They hugged and cried, putting the passbook back to the safe.

Do you know how much money they had saved when they retired? I did not ask. I believe the money did not matter any more after they had gone thru all the good years in their life.

"When you fall, in any way, Don't see the place where you fell, Instead see the place from where you slipped.

Life is about correcting mistakes."

Always be happy & keep smiling,

Impossible love. Do you mind?

Impossible Love - Threadless, Best T-shirts Ever

Here is an impossible love that can get me all confused. I love playing with words. Here is one.

Imagine MIND stands for "Mimic Incidents Not Decent".

That is what all minds tend to love to do sometimes. So, the call is to

DON'T Mimic Incidents Not Decent!

Why? Because I do mind, especially, if my kids are at it.

So, what am I saying here?

DON'T Mimic Incidents Not Decent. I do MIND.

But then, that is the kind of thing the mind loves to do that I would prick my kids up and away from.

Like that? Vote to claim "I'd Wear It".

Flood situation at Santa Catarina region.

Landslides and floods caused by heavy rains affected more than 1.5 million people living in 8 regions of Santa Catarina in southern Brazil. They are facing the worst weather tragedy in history.

Helga shared this story affecting her country on SlideShare.

A Tempestade E A Solidariedade
View SlideShare presentation or Upload your own. (tags: brazil)


What can you do for them?

Free Hugs, anyone?

I discovered from Oliver Ding that is a Free Hug campaign going on. Juan Mann started it with a mission to reach out and hug strangers to brighten up their lives.

Free Hugs 20081122
View SlideShare presentation or Upload your own. (tags: campaigns freehugs)


Read his story to find out how it all started and watch this video of Juan Mann in action.



There is a Hindu spiritual leader, Mata Amritanandamayi, who is also known as 'Amma' or the 'hugging saint'. So, for those who may think it is inappropriate to hug strangers, do it for spiritual connection.

Find out when and where the next free hug event will be organised and see if you can take part in it. You can also create your own freehugs movement. Just use its FORUM (link currently broken) to recruit volunteers in your area.

Their advise, which you should take note of, is that you make sure that you will not get into trouble with the local laws to start your Hugathon! Need the inspiration to start? Watch more videos of this movement initiated in other countries.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Safety First

Greekhero shared this on Slideshare. I would have missed it if Smirza did not forward its link to me. Thanks, Smirza and Greekhero.

Safety First
View SlideShare presentation or Upload your own. (tags: safety housekeeping..work)


and it inspired another slogan.

Slip show slip.
http://www.typetees.com/score/908881/Slip_show_slip

It sounds better than

Your slip will show if you slip.
http://www.typetees.com/score/908878/Your_slip_will_show_if_you_slip

Would you say I am a thief?

Take a look at this slogan and tell me what it does for you? It inspired me to create.

I'm not bitter I'm just unsweetened - Threadless, Best T-shirts Ever

You can call me a thief or click on the following link to claim "I'd wear it".

I'm not stupid. I'm just unenlightened.
http://www.typetees.com/score/908815/I_m_not_stupid_I_m_just_unenlightened

Here are more that I have created today at the ironing board.

The best place to iron things out is at the ironing board.
http://www.typetees.com/score/908799/The_best_place_to_iron_things_out_is_at_the_ironing_board

If you are happy and you know it say, "I do".
http://www.typetees.com/score/908792/If_you_are_happy_and_you_know_it_say_I_do

The road is long and winding without your glasses on.
http://www.typetees.com/score/908802/The_road_is_long_and_winding_without_your_glasses_on

It's OK to be what you are not as an actor.
http://www.typetees.com/score/908804/It_s_OK_to_be_what_you_are_not_as_an_actor

A psychiatrist makes a living calling people names.
http://www.typetees.com/score/908806/A_psychiatrist_makes_a_living_calling_people_names

Travel far and wide for vast knowledge and bills.
http://www.typetees.com/score/908808/Travel_far_and_wide_for_vast_knowledge_and_bills

How do I feel after creating so many slogans?

An active mind is a tired mind.
http://www.typetees.com/score/908803/An_active_mind_is_a_tired_mind

And you know what I thought of as I iron?
Where on web have you been? I need you to score my slogans!
http://www.typetees.com/score/908809/Where_on_web_have_you_been

OK, I need to

Rock-a-by baby, to the beat of rock.
http://www.typetees.com/score/908811/Rock_a_by_baby_to_the_beat_of_rock

...so that
My dreams came true in my dreams.
http://www.typetees.com/score/908813/My_dreams_came_true_in_my_dreams

...and hope this time my slogans got printed for real.

Inspirational and Motivational Quotes

From My InBox:

>