Fathers v/s Mothers

From My InBox:

There was this family with one kid. One day the mother was out and dad was in charge of the kid, who just turned three.

Someone had given the kid a little 'tea set' as a birthday gift and it was one of his favorite toys. Daddy was in the living room engrossed in the evening news when kid brought Daddy a little cup of 'tea', which was just water. After several cups of tea and lots of praise for such yummy tea from father, kid’s Mom came home.

Dad made her wait in the living room to watch the kid bring him a cup of tea, because it was 'just the cutest thing!!'

Mom waited, and sure enough, the kid comes down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy and she watches him drink it up, then she says to him, 'Did it ever occur to you that the only place that baby can reach to get water is the toilet??'

....Mothers know

MORAL OF THE STORY:

Domain knowledge is very important!!! Else your supplier will trick you......

Zen Stories for Management Students

Discovered a story on management shared by Prabhakar Krishnamurthy on Slideshare.

Zen Stories for Management Students

View more presentations from Prabhakar Krishnamurthy .

The Woman and the Lord

From My InBox:

One day, when a seamstress was sewing while sitting close to a river, her thimble fell into the river. When she cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, "My dear child, why are you crying?" The seamstress replied that her thimble had fallen into the water and that she needed it to help her husband in making a living for their family. The Lord dipped His hand into the water and pulled up a golden thimble set with sapphires.

"Is this your thimble?" the Lord asked The seamstress replied, "No."
The Lord again dipped into the river. He held out a golden thimble studded with rubies.

"Is this your thimble?" the Lord asked. Again, the seamstress replied, "No."
The Lord reached down again and came up with a leather thimble.

"Is this your thimble ?" the Lord asked. The seamstress replied, "Yes." The Lord was pleased with the woman's honesty and gave her all three thimbles to keep, and the seamstress went home happy.

Some years later, the seamstress was walking with her husband along the riverbank, and her husband fell into the river and disappeared under the water. When she cried out, the Lord again appeared and asked her, "Why are you crying?" "Oh Lord, my husband has fallen into the river!"

The Lord went down into the water and came up with George Clooney. "Is this your husband?" the Lord asked.

"Yes," cried the seamstress. The Lord was furious. "You lied! That is an untruth!" The seamstress replied, "Oh, forgive me, my Lord. It is a misunderstanding. You see, if I had said 'no' to George Clooney, you would have come up with Brad Pitt.

Then if I said 'no' to him, you would have come up with my husband. Had I then said 'yes,' you would have given me all three. Lord, I'm not in the best of health and would not be able to take care of all three husbands, so THAT'S why I said 'yes' to George Clooney.

And so the Lord let her keep him.

The moral of this story is:

Whenever a woman lies, it's for a good and honorable reason, and in the best interest of others. That's our story, and we're sticking to it.

Signed,
All Us Women

How to sell combs to the monks in the temples?

From My InBox:

Question :-
If your company , Comb manufacturers assigned you to sell the
comb to the monks in the temples ? Can you do it ?


What is your answer ?
a) No Way , Impossible
b) Crazy
c) I will give it a try in order to follow my boss instruction .
d) Well , I will try .
e) Ya , I think I can sell ??? ( 5pcs ? 10pcs ? , 50pcs ? or more ,,you name it
)


Pick an answer above and read below to find out if you are / you are going to
be a successful person or not at all .
.
.
The Story   : SELLING COMB TO THE MONKS  ;
==========================================


There was one company " manufacturing combs "which intends to expand its
business and so the management wanted to employ a new Sales Manager .

The company ADVERTISED the vacancy in the newspaper . They are so many peoples
turned up for the interview everyday ....accumulated to almost a hundred
peoples in just few days ..


The Company now having the problem to choose the right candidate for this
position . So , The Company interviewer had set A Difficult Task to whom who
want to come for final interview .

The Task Is To : Selling Comb To Monks In Temples


Only 3 Applicants willing to stay on for this Final Interview challenge  . ( Mr
A , Mr B , Mr C ) .

The Chief Interviewer instructed : " Now I want three of you here to sell thses
wooden combs to the monks in the temples . You only have 10 days to do it and
report to me after that . "


After 10 days , they reported .

The Chief Interviewer asked Mr A : How many have you sold ?
Mr A Answered : Only One .
The Chief Interviewer Asked : How did you manage to sell ?
Mr A Answered : The monks in the temples scolded me when I show them the comb .
But on my way back to downhill I met a young monk who bought it to scratch his
head due to dandruff . " .


The Chief Interviewer then asked Mr B : How many did you sell ?
Mr B replied : 10 pieces . I went to a shrine and noticed many devotees's hair
was in bad shape due to strong wind outside the shrine . The monk in there
listened to my advice and bought 10 combs for their devotees in showing respect
to the Buddha statue .


Then , The Chief Interviewer asked Mr C : How about you ?
Mr C replied : 1,000 units .
The Chief Interviewer and the other 2 interviews were astounded .
The Chief Interviewer asked : How you did that ?

Mr C replied : I went to a famous temple . After observing for few days I
discovered that there were many tourists . I then told the Chief Abbot there "
Sifu , those who come here are much devoted . If you could give them a gift ,
it will be more elating to them . I told him that I have a bulk of combs here
and ask him to raft his handwriting on the combs as a present to those visit
here . He was very delighted and straight away ordered 1,000 pieces .


The End of Story .

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


MORAL OF THE STORY ;
====================

HARVARD UNIVERSITY had done a research that says :-

1) 85% of success is due to attitude  and 15% is capability .
2) Attitude is more important than intelligence , specials skills and luck .

In another word , professional knowledge only constitutes for 15% of success of
a person and 85% is due to self-cultivation , public relation and adaptability
ability .


Still remember the story of Selling Shoes to African ? When 2 Salesmen were
sent to that continent , One of them reported : Can not do it . No one wears
shoes there? The second saleman said : It is good to market . A lot of
opportunity .


Success and Failure is dependant on how we face problems .

My dear friends ,
Do you know eagle lives up to about 70 of age? But when it reach about 40 yrs
old , it claws start to age and can not grab the preys . It also can not fly as
well .  

So , it is time for the eagle to make a choice ; wait for the death or goes
through a renewal process . If it choose to live , it must try its best flying
to the top of the hill . On the hill top / summit , it will stay for 150 days .
Over the top , it will hits it feathers to the stone so that they will drop and
wait for the new ones to grow . After the feathers have grown enough which is
about 150 days  , it will continue its balance for 30 years life.


Remember , When the economic is good , there are peoples going bankrupt .
When business is bad , there are many new millionaires produced as well .
So , apply now the 85% right working attitude fully. All the best !

Kind Lawyer

From My InBox:

One afternoon a wealthy lawyer was riding in his limousine when he saw
two men along the roadside eating grass.

Disturbed, he ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate.
He asked one man 'Why are you eating grass?'

'We don't have any money for food,' the poor man replied 'We have to eat
grass.'

'Well, then, you can come with me to my house and I'll feed you', the
lawyer said.

'But sir, I have a wife and two children with me. They are over there,
under that tree'.

'Bring them along,' the lawyer replied.

Turning to the other poor man he stated, 'You come with us also.'

The second man, in a pitiful voice then said, 'But sir, I also have a
wife and SIX children with me!'

'Bring them all, as well,' the lawyer answered.

They all entered the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as
large as the limousine was.

Once underway, one of the poor fellows turned to the lawyer and said,
'Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you.'

The lawyer replied, 'Glad to do it. You'll really love my place; the
grass is almost 1 metre high!'

Lesson : Don't trust kind lawyers. (Also, don't sent this to your good
friend who is also a lawyer)!!

What is your boss thinking??

From My InBox:

A butcher watching over his shop is really surprised when he sees a dog coming inside the shop. He shoos him away. But later, the dog is back again. So, he goes over to the dog and notices it has a note in its mouth.


He takes the note and it reads "Can I have 12 sausages and a leg of lamb, please? The dog has money in its mouth, as well."


The butcher looks inside and, low and behold, there is a ten dollar note there. So he takes the money and puts the sausages and lamb in a bag, placing it in the dog's mouth. The butcher is so impressed, and since it's about closing time, he decides to shut the shop and follow the dog.


So off he goes. The dog is walking down the street, when it comes to a level crossing; the dog puts down the bag, jumps up and presses the button. Then it waits patiently, bag in mouth, for the lights to turn. They do, and it walks across the road, with the butcher following him all the way.


The dog then comes to a bus stop, and starts looking at the timetable. The butcher is in awe as the dog stops a bus by pulling its left leg up and gets in it. The butcher follows the dog into the bus. The dog then shows a ticket which is tied to its belt to the bus conductor. The butcher is nearly fainting at this sight, so are the other passengers in the bus. The dog then sits near the driver's seat looking outside. As soon as the stop is in sight, the dog stands and wags its tail to inform the conductor. Then, without waiting for the bus to stop completely, it jumps out of the bus and runs to a house very close to the stop.



It opens the big Iron Gate and rushes inside towards the door. As it approaches the wooden door, the dog suddenly changes its mind and heads towards the garden. It goes to the window, and beats its head against it several times, walks back, jumps off, and waits at the door. The butcher watches as a big guy opens the door, and starts abusing the dog, kicking him and punching him, and swearing at him. The butcher surprised with this, runs up, and stops the guy.


"What in heaven's name are you doing? The dog is a genius. He could be on TV, for the life of me! "To which the guy responds: "You call this clever? This is the second time this week that this stupid dog's forgotten his key."


Moral of the story.....
You may continue to exceed onlookers expectations but shall always fall short of the boss' expectations.
It's a dog's life after all.....

PRICELESS WORDS (ITS AWESOME)

From My InBox:

A husband wakes up at home with a huge hangover.
He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple
of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table.

He sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed.
He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotless,
clean. So is the rest of the house.
He takes the aspirins and notices a note on the table.

“Honey, breakfast is on the table, I left early to go grocery shopping.
Love You!”

Totally shocked with the note , he goes to the kitchen and sure enough there
is a hot breakfast and the morning newspaper.
His son is also at the table, eating. He asks, “Son, what happened last
night?”

His son says, “Well, you came home around 3 AM, drunk and delirious.
Broke some crockery, puked in the hall, and gave yourself a black eye when
you stumbled into the door”. Confused, the man asks, “So, why is everything
in order and so clean, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?
I should expect a big quarrel with her!”

His son replies, “Oh, that! Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she
tried to take your clothes n shoes off, you said,

“LADY LEAVE ME ALONE! I’M MARRIED!“

Moral

Self-induced hangover - $ 400.00
Broken crockery - $ 800.00
Breakfast - $ 10.00
Saying the Right Thing While Drunk - “PRICELESS “

There are truly some things that both money and Mastercard can’t buy

What do women really want?

My InBox:

Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a
neighboring kingdom.. The monarch could have killed him but was moved by
Arthur's youth and ideals. So, the monarch offered him his freedom, as
long as he could answer a very difficult question. Arthur would have a
year to figure out the answer and, If after a year, he still had no
answer, he would be put to death. The question was: What do women really
want?

Such a question would perplex even the most knowledgeable man, And to
young Arthur, it seemed an impossible query. But, since it was better than
death, He accepted the monarch's proposition to have an answer by year's
end.

He returned to his kingdom and began to poll everyone: The princess, the
priests, the wise men, and even the court jester. He spoke with everyone,
but no one could give him a satisfactory answer. Many people advised him
to consult the old witch, For only she would have the answer.. But the
price would be high as the witch was famous through out the kingdom for
the exorbitant prices she charged.

The last day of the year arrived and Arthur had no choice but to talk to
the witch. She agreed to answer the question, but he would have to agree
to her price first..

The old witch wanted to marry Sir Lancelot, The most noble of the Knights
of the Round Table, And Arthur's closest friend! Young Arthur was
horrified. She was hunch-backed and hideous, had only one tooth, Smelled
like sewage, made obscene noises, etc.

He had never encountered such a repugnant creature in all his life.. He
refused to force his friend to marry her and endure such a terrible
burden.

But Lancelot, having learnt of the proposal, spoke with Arthur. He said
nothing was too big of a sacrifice compared to Arthur's life. And the
reservation of the Round Table. Hence, a wedding was proclaimed and the
witch answered. Arthur's question thus: 'What do women really want?'
She said, 'Is to be in charge of her own life.'

Everyone in the kingdom instantly knew that the witch had uttered a great
truth. And that Arthur's life would be spared.

And so it was. The neighboring monarch granted Arthur his freedom.

And Lancelot and the witch had a wonderful wedding.
The honeymoon hour approached and, Lancelot, steeling himself for a
horrific experience, entered the bedroom.

But, what a sight awaited him.
The most beautiful woman he had ever seen lay before him on the bed.
The astounded Lancelot asked what had happened.
The beauty replied that since he had been so kind to her when she appeared
as a witch, She would henceforth be her horrible and deformed self only
half the time. And the beautiful maiden the other half.
'Which would you prefer? She asked him.
'Beautiful during the day ..... or at night?'

Lancelot pondered the predicament.
During the day he could have a beautiful woman to show off to his friends,
But at night, in the privacy of his castle, an old witch!
Or,
Would he prefer having a hideous witch during the day?
But by night a beautiful woman for him to enjoy wondrous, intimate moments
with?

(If you are a man reading this...) What would YOUR choice be?
(If you are a woman reading this) What would YOUR MAN'S choice be?
What Lancelot chose, is given below:
BUT... make YOUR choice before you scroll down below... OKAY?

H
H
H
H
H
H

M
M
M
M
M
M
M
M
M
M
M
M
M
M
m

Noble Lancelot, knowing the answer the witch gave Arthur to his question,
He said that he would allow HER to make the choice herself.
Upon hearing this, she announced that she would be beautiful all the
time..

Because, he had respected her enough to let her be in charge of her own
life.

Now... what is the moral to this story?

.
.
.

.

.

.

.

.

The moral is...
1) There is witch in every woman no matter how beautiful she is!
2) If you don't let a woman have her own way, things are going to get
ugly.

So, always remember:
IT'S EITHER 'HER WAY' OR IT'S 'NO WAY'!!!

A CUP of HOT CHOCOLATE

A group of graduates, well established in their careers, were talking at a reunion and decided to go visit their old university professor,now retired.

During their visit, the conversation turned to complaints about stress in their work and lives. Offering his guests hot chocolate, the professor went into the kitchen and returned with a large pot of hot chocolate and an assortment of cups - porcelain, glass, crystal, some plain looking, some expensive, some exquisite -telling them to help themselves to the hot chocolate.

When they all had a cup of hot chocolate in hand, the professor said: 'Notice that all the nice looking, xpensive cups were taken, leaving behind the plain and cheap ones. While it is normal for you to want only the best for yourselves, that is the source of your problems and stress. The cup that you're drinking from adds nothing to the quality of the hot chocolate. In most cases it is just more expensive and in some cases even hides what we drink. What all of you really wanted was hot chocolate, not the cup; but you consciously went for the best cups . . . And then you began eyeing each other's cups.

Now consider this: Life is the hot chocolate; your job, money and position in society are the cups. They are just tools to hold and contain life.

The cup you have does not define, nor change the quality of life you have. Sometimes, by concentrating only on the cup, we fail to enjoy thehot chocolate God has provided us.

God makes the hot chocolate, man chooses the cups. The happiest people don't have the best of everything. They just make the best of everything that they have.

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. And enjoy your hot chocolate!!!

The Fisherman

An American investment banker was at the pier of a small coastal Mexican Village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked.

Inside the boat were several large yellow fin tuna. The banker complimented Miguel, the Mexican, on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took to catch them. Miguel replied that it took only a little while.

The banker then asked why he didn't stay out longer and catch more fish. Miguel said he had enough to support his family's immediate needs. The banker then asked, "But what do you do with the rest of your time?"

Miguel said, "I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, take siesta with my wife, Maria, stroll into the village each evening where I sip wine and play guitar with my amigos. I have a full and busy life, senor."

The banker scoffed, "I am a Harvard MBA and could help you. You should spend more time fishing and, with the proceeds, buy a bigger boat. With the proceeds from the bigger boat you could buy several boats. Eventually you would have a fleet of fishing boats."

"Instead of selling your catch to a middleman you would sell directly to the processor, eventually opening your own cannery. You would control the product, processing and distribution. You would need to leave this small coastal fishing village and move to Mexico City, then LA and eventually NYC where you will run your expanding enterprise."

Miguel asked, "But senor, how long will this all take?"

To which the banker replied, "15-20 years."

"But what then, senor?"

The banker laughed and said "That's the best part. When the time is right you would announce a public listing and sell your company stock to the public and become very rich. You would make millions."

"Millions, senor? Then what?"

The banker said, "Then you would retire. Move to a small coastal fishing village where you would sleep late, fish a little, play with your kids, take a siesta with your wife, stroll to the village in the evenings, where you could sip wine and play your guitar with your amigos."

THE CRACKED POT

A water-bearer in India had two large pots, each hung on the ends of a
pole which he carried across his neck . One of the pots had a crack in it
while the other pot was perfect, and always delivered a full portion of
water. At the end of the long walk from the stream to the house, the
cracked pot arrived only half- full. For a full two years, this went on daily,
with the bearer delivering only one and a half pots full of water to his
house. Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments.
But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and
miserable that it was able to accomplish only half of what it had been
made to do.

After two years of what it perceived to be bitter failure, it spoke to the
water-bearer one day by the stream . “I am ashamed of myself, and I
want to apologize to you. I have been able to deliver only half of my load
because this crack in my side causes water to leak all the way back to
your house . Because of my flaws, you have to do all this work, and you
don’t get full value for your efforts,” the pot said.

The bearer said to the pot,” Did you notice that there were flowers only
on your side of the path but not on other pot’s side ? That’s because I
have always known about your flaw, and I planted flower seeds your
side of the path, and every day while we walk back you have watered
them.

For two years, I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to
decorate the table. Without you being just the way you are, there
would not be this beauty to grace the house.”

Moral : Each of us has his own unique flaws. We’re all cracked pots but
it’s the cracks and flaws we each have that make our lives together so
very interesting and rewarding. You’ve have just got to take each person for
what he is, and look for the good in him.

Blessed are the flexible for they shall not be bent out of shape.