Ready for old age home?

From My InBox:

During a visit to my doctor, I asked him, "How do you determine whether or not an older person should be put in an old age home?"
"Well," he said, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the person to empty the bathtub."
"Oh, I understand," I said. "A normal person would use the bucket because it is bigger than the spoon or the teacup."
"No" he said. "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want
a bed near the window?"

ARE YOU GOING TO PASS THIS ON … OR DO YOU WANT THE BED NEXT TO MINE? :)

Will I Live to see 80?

From My InBox:


Here's something to think about.


I recently picked a new primary care doctor. After two visits and exhaustive Lab tests, he said I was doing 'fairly well' for my age. (I just turned 65.)


A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking him, 'Do you think I'll live to be 80?'


He asked, 'Do you smoke tobacco, or drink beer or wine?'


'Oh no,' I replied. 'I'm not doing drugs, either!'


Then he asked, 'Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?


'I said, 'Not much... My former doctor said that all red meat is very unhealthy!'


'Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, sailing, hiking, or bicycling?'


'No, I don't,' I said.


He asked, 'Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or have a lots of sex?'


'No,' I said.


He looked at me and said,.. 'Then, why do you even give a shit?

The $2.99 Special

From My InBox:

If you are a senior you will understand this one, if you deal with seniors this should help you understand them a little better, and if you are not a senior yet.........God willing, someday you will be!



We went to breakfast at a restaurant where the "Senior's Special" was two eggs, bacon, hash browns and toast for $2.99.

'Sounds good,' my wife said. 'But I don't want the eggs.'

'Then, I'll have to charge you three dollars and forty-nine cents because you're ordering a la carte,' the waitress warned her.

'You mean I'd have to pay for not taking the eggs?' my wife asked incredulously.

'Yes!' stated the waitress.

'I'll take the "Special" then,' my wife said.

'How do you want your eggs?' the waitress asked.

'Raw and in the shell,' my wife replied. She took the two eggs home and baked a cake.



DON'T MESS WITH SENIORS!!!
WE'VE BEEN AROUND THE BLOCK MORE THAN ONCE!





Send this to the Seniors in your life. I'm sure they'll appreciate it!!


Even non-seniors will appreciate it!!!!!

SENIOR CITIZEN FUND

An opportunity for senior citizens in Selangor to reduce the burden of bearing escalating funeral expenses by their descendants by registering for "“Mesra Usia Emas’’ fund.

Procedures can be read off Bukit Gasing State Assemblyman, Edward Lee's blog.

Read on the same subject in Bahasa on eHomemakers where they also provide link to copy of the form.
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From My InBox:

Let's not miss this piece of news. For families with senior members
above 60 yrs old, they are entitled to apply for the fund. Terms and
conditions:
1. person must be 60 yrs old and above.
2. must be born in selangor or KL before 1 Feb 1974
3. must reside in selangor for at least 15 years

For more detail, check with your local state assemblyman or call
03-5544 5578/ 03-5544 5579.

Pls keep this community updated on the matter from time to time.

Read the story in full here -

The Star Online > Central
Tuesday November 11, 2008

Programme for senior citizens

Julie Andrews On Maturity!!

From My InBox

To commemorate her birthday , actress/vocalist, Julie Andrews made a special appearance at Manhattan 's Radio City Music Hall for the benefit of the AARP. One of the musical numbers she performed was 'My Favorite Things' from the legendary
movie 'Sound Of Music'. Here are the lyrics she used:

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(Sing It!) - If you sing it, its especially hysterical!!!

Botox and nose drops and needles for knitting,
Walkers and handrails and new dental fittings,
Bundles of magazines tied up in string,
These are a few of my favorite things.

Cadillacs and cataracts, hearing aids and glasses,
Polident and Fixodent and false teeth in glasses,
Pacemakers, golf carts and porches with swings,
These are a few of my favorite things.

When the pipes leak, When the bones creak,
When the knees go bad,
I simply remember my favorite things,
And then I don't feel so bad.

Hot tea and crumpets and corn pads for bunions,
No spicy hot food or food cooked with onions,
Bathrobes and heating pads and hot meals they bring,
These are a few of my favorite things.

Back pain, confused brains and no need for sinnin',
Thin bones and fractures and hair that is thinnin',
And we won't mention our short shrunken frames,
When we remember our favorite things.

When the joints ache, When the hips break,
When the eyes grow dim,
Then I remember the great life I've had,
And then I don't feel so bad.

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(Ms. Andrews received a standing ovation from the crowd
that lasted over four minutes and repeated encores. Please
share Ms. Andrews' clever wit and humor with others who
would appreciate it

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For those of you who are too young to remember who Julie Andrews is:

The Sound Of Music

View SlideShare presentation or Upload your own. (tags: sound film)

Ten Commandments for Those Over Fifty Years Old

From My InBox:

1. Focus on enjoying people, not on indulging in or accumulating material things.

2. Plan to spend whatever you have saved. You deserve to enjoy it and the few healthy years you have left. Travel if you can afford it. Don't leave anything for your children or loved ones to quarrel about. By leaving anything, you may even cause more trouble when you are gone.

3. Live in the here and now, not in the yesterdays and tomorrows. It is only today that you can handle. Yesterday is gone, tomorrow may not even happen.

4. Enjoy your grandchildren (if blessed with any) but don't be their full time baby sitter. You have no moral obligation to take care of them. Don't have any guilt about refusing to baby sit anyone's kids, including your own grandkids. Your parental obligation is to your children. After you have raised them into responsible adults, your duties of child-rearing babysitting are finished. Let your children raise their own off-springs.

5. Accept physical weakness, sickness and other physical pains. It is a part of the aging process. Enjoy whatever your health can allow.

6. Enjoy what you are and what you have right now. Stop working hard for what you do not have. If you don't have them, it's probably too late.

7. Enjoy your life with your spouse, children, grandchildren and friends. People, who truly love you, love you for yourself, not for what you have. Anyone who loves you for what you have will just give you misery.

8. Forgive and accept forgiveness. Forgive yourself and others. Enjoy peace of mind and peace of soul.

9. Befriend death. It's a natural part of the life cycle. Don't be afraid of it. Death is the beginning of a new and better life. So, prepare yourself not for death but for a new life with the Almighty.

10. Be at peace with your Creator. For ... He is all you have after you leave this life.