Halloween 2007: Darwin Awards

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DARWIN AWARD
A Chronicle of Enterprising Demises
Honoring those who improve the species...by
accidentally removing themselves from it!.

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> CONFIRMED DARWIN AWARD: Mummy Says, Don't Smoke
> "Another Incentive to Kick the Habit"
>
> For Halloween 1998, a Canadian man dressed as a mummy by wrapping
> himself from head to toe in fluffy cotton batting. The cotton was
> taped at the wrists and ankles, and white gloves and running shoes
> completed his ensemble. As the mummy waited for his girlfriend
> to dress for pictures, he carelessly lit a cigarette...
> and the fluffy cotton burst into flames.
>
> The reason for flame-retardant costumes became clear.
>
> Firefighters arrived within minutes, yet already the mummy costume
> was reduced to ashes, right down to the white coveralls underneath.
> The man kept repeating, "It's my fault." He was taken to Soldier's
> Memorial Hospital with 2nd and 3rd degree burns, where he died.
>
> http://darwinawards.com/darwin/darwin1998-11.html
> --------------------------------------------+---+-+---+-+-+-+-+
>
> CONFIRMED DARWIN AWARD: Steel Steal
> "Gravity Still Works"
>
> July 2007, Czech Republic | A pack of thieves attempted to steal
> scrap metal from an abandoned factory in Kladno. Unfortunately
> for them, they selected the steel girders that supported the
> factory roof. When the roof supports were dismantled, the roof
> fell, fatally crushing two thieves and injuring three others.
>
> June 2007, Philippines | Three entrepreneurs planned to profit
> from stolen scrap metal. They entered a former US military complex
> and approached the prize: an abandoned water tank. Bedazzled by
> the potential upside, the three threw logic to the wind, and began
> to cut the metal legs out from under the tank. Guess where it fell?
>
> Straight onto the thieves.
>
> Darwin notes, "What are these thieves doing, playing a deadly
> game of Jenga?! This entire category may soon become too common,
> in violation of the Rule of Excellence. See Scrap Metal Thieves
> and Barn Demolition."
>
> http://darwinawards.com/darwin/darwin2007-09.html
> http://darwinawards.com/darwin/darwin2007-02.html
> http://darwinawards.com/darwin/darwin1997-03.html
> --------------------------------------------+---+-+---+-+-+-+-+
>
> UNCONFIRMED DARWIN AWARD: Death of Dracula
>
> 1994 | A college student dressed up as Dracula for Halloween. For
> the finishing touch, he put a pine board down the front of his
> shirt, so he could stick a knife into the board and pretend he was
> transfixed with a killing stake. He didn't consider the strength
> of the thin pine board when he tapped in the knife with a hammer.
>
> Propelled by the force of the hammer, the sharp knife tip split
> the soft wood and buried itself in his heart. He staggered from
> his dorm room into the party, gasping, "I really did it!"
> before succumbing before horrified friends.
>
> REFERENCE: Dead Men Do Tell Tales by William R. Maples, Ph.D., 1994
> http://darwinawards.com/darwin/darwin1993-09.html
> --------------------------------------------+---+-+---+-+-+-+-+
>
> CONFIRMED DARWIN AWARD: Beer for Bears
>
> August 2007, Serbia | It's well known that alcohol impairs judgement.
> It's well known that carnivorous wild animals and humans don't mix.
> What happens when we combine all three? One might expect men, bears,
> and beer to combine with lethal consequences. Such was the case for
> a 23-year old man who inadvertently fed himself to Masha and Misha
> at the Belgrade Zoo.
>
> The Zoo director said of the incident, "Only an idiot
> would jump into the bear cage."
>
> The man's naked, mauled corpse was found inside the bear habitat, along
> with several mobile phones, bricks, and plenty of beer cans. His clothes
> were completely undamaged, suggesting that he approached the bears
> bare-naked. The bears, fearing that his intentions were as dishonorable
> as they were ill-informed, meted out a summary justice.
>
> Later, Masha and Misha "reacted angrily" when keepers tried to recover
> the man's corpse, but were eventually persuaded to give up their tasty
> prize. We await word on how many beers were bartered for the body.