Sunday, April 20, 2014

Holy Humor

Happy Easter Holiday.  Let's remember this day with a sense of humour.

From My InBox:

Holy  Humor

During these serious and  troubled times, people of all faiths should remember these four  great religious truths:
1. Muslims do not recognize  Jews as God's Chosen People.
2. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the  Messiah.
3. Protestants do not recognize the Pope  as the leader of the Christian world.
4. Baptists do not recognize  each other at the liquor store.
GOOD SAMARITAN A  Sunday school teacher was telling her class the story of the Good  Samaritan.  She asked the class, "If you saw a person lying on  the roadside, all wounded and bleeding, what would you  do?"
A thoughtful little girl broke the hushed  silence, "I think I'd throw up..."
DID NOAH  FISH? A Sunday school teacher asked, "Johnny, do you think Noah did  a lot of fishing when he was on the  Ark?"
"No," replied  Johnny. "How could he, with just two worms.
A Sunday School teacher decided to have  her young class memorize one of the most quoted passages in the  Bible - Psalm 23.
She gave the youngsters a month to learn  the chapter. Little Rick was excited about the task - but he just  couldn't remember the Psalm. After much practice, he could barely  get past the first line.
On the day that the kids were scheduled to  recite Psalm 23 in front of the congregation, Ricky was so nervous.  When it was his turn, he stepped up to the microphone and said  proudly, "The Lord is my Shepherd, and that's all I need to  know."
The preacher's 5 year-old  daughter noticed that her father always paused and bowed his head  for a moment before starting his sermon.
One day, she asked him why.  "Well, Honey," he began, proud that his daughter was so observant of  his messages. "I'm asking the Lord to help me preach a good  sermon."
"How come He doesn't answer it?" she  asked.
A Rabbi said to a precocious  six-year-old boy, "So your mother says your prayers for you each  night? That's very commendable. What does she say?" 
The little boy  replied, "Thank God he's in bed!"
When my daughter, Kelli, said her bedtime  prayers, she would bless every family member, every friend, and  every animal (current and past). For several weeks, after we had  finished the nightly prayer, Kelli would say, "And all  girls."
This soon became part of her nightly  routine, to include this closing. My curiosity got the best of me  and I asked her, "Kelli, why do you always add the part about all  girls?"
Her response; "Because everybody always  finish their prayers by saying 'All Men'!"
Little Johnny and his family were having  Sunday dinner at his Grandmother's house. Everyone was seated around  the table as the food was being served. When Little Johnny received  his plate, he started eating right away.
"Johnny! Please wait until we  say our prayer." said his mother.
"I don't need to," the boy  replied.
"Of course, you do "his mother  insisted.”We always say a prayer before eating at our  house."
"That's at our house." Johnny explained.  "But this is Grandma's house and she knows how to  cook.
Did you know  that?
When you carry the Bible, Satan has a  headache. When you open it, he collapses. When he sees you reading  it, he faints. Let's read the Bible every day so he keeps on  fainting. Maybe one day he'll have a stroke and never wake  up.
And did you also know that when you are  about to forward this email to others, the devil will discourage you  but forward it  anyway

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