Friday, October 31, 2014

Silence of Mind!

From My InBox:
                                                         Silence of Mind!

There once was a farmer who discovered that he had lost his watch in the barn. It was no ordinary watch because it had sentimental value for him.

After searching high and low among the hay for a long while; he gave up and enlisted the help of a group of children playing outside the barn. He promised them that the person who found it would be rewarded. Hearing this, the children hurried inside the barn, went through and around the entire stack of hay but still could not find the watch. Just when the farmer was about to give up looking for his watch, a little boy went up to him and asked to be given another chance.

The farmer looked at him and thought, "Why not? After all, this kid looks sincere enough." So the farmer sent the little boy back in the barn. After a while the little boy came out with the watch in his hand! The farmer was both happy and surprised and so he asked the boy how he succeeded where the rest had failed.

The boy replied, "I did nothing but sit on the ground and listen. In the silence, I heard the ticking of the watch and just looked for it in that direction."

Moral : A peaceful mind can think better than a worked up mind. Allow a few minutes of silence to your mind every day, and see, how sharply it helps you to set your life the way you expect it to be! The soul always knows what to do to heal itself.... The challenge is to silence the mind

Frank

From My InBox:
A man walks into the street and manages to get a taxi just going by.  He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, "Perfect timing.  You're just like Frank "

Passenger: "Who?"

Cabbie: "Frank Feldman.  He's a guy who did everything right - all the time.  Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things happened like that to Frank - every single time."

Passenger: "There are always a few clouds over everybody."

Cabbie: "Not Frank.  He was a terrific athlete.  He could have won the Grand Slam at tennis.  He could golf with the pros.  He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star and you should have heard him play the piano."

Passenger: "Sounds like he was something really special"

Cabbie: "There's more.......He had a memory like a computer.  Could remember everybody's birthday.  He knew all about wine, which foods to order and which fork to eat them with.  He could fix anything.  Not like me.  I change a fuse, and the whole street blacks out."

Passenger.  "Wow, some guy then."

Cabbie: "He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams, not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them."

Passenger.  "Mmm, there's not many like him around."

Cabbie: "And he knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good and never answer her back even if she was in the wrong; and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished too - the perfect man!"

Passenger: "An amazing fellow.  How did you meet him?

Cabbie: "Well, I never actually met Frank."

Passenger: "Then how do you know so much about him?"

Cabbie: "I married his fucking widow."

Thursday, October 30, 2014

Irish Ghost Story


From My InBox:

IRISH GHOST STORY
This story happened a while ago in Dublin , and even though it sounds like
an Alfred Hitchcock tale, it's true.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
John Bradford, a Dublin University student, was on the side of
the road hitchhiking on a very dark night and in the midst of a
big storm.

The night was rolling on and no car went by. The storm was so
Strong he could hardly see a few feet ahead of him.

Suddenly, he saw a car slowly coming towards him and it stopped
John, desperate for shelter and without thinking about it, got into
the car and closed the door.... Only to realize there was nobody
behind the wheel and the engine wasn't on. The car started moving
slowly. John looked at the road ahead and saw a curve approaching

Scared, he started to pray, begging for his life. Then, just before
the car hit the curve, a hand appeared out of nowhere through the
window, and turned the wheel. John, paralyzed with terror, watched
as the hand came through the window, but never touched or harmed him.

Shortly thereafter, John saw the lights of a pub appear down the road,
so, gathering strength, he jumped out of the car and ran to it.. Wet
and out of breath, he rushed inside and started telling everybody about
the horrible experience he had just had.

A silence enveloped the pub when everybody realized he was crying...
And wasn't drunk.

Suddenly, the door opened, and two other people walked in from the dark
and stormy night. They, like John, were also soaked and out of breath.
Looking around, and seeing John Bradford sobbing at the bar, one said to
the other...

'Look Paddy....there's that fooking idiot that got in the car while we were
pushing it!'


Wednesday, October 29, 2014

Why teachers drink!

What could be upseting teacher the world over?

From My InBox:

These are so so funny but also sad when you consider the ignorance.


Why Teachers Drink

The following questions were set in last year's GED examination. These are genuine answers (from 16 year olds)

Q.  Name the four seasons.
A...  Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar

Q.  How is dew formed?
A...  The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire

Q.  What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on?
A...  If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed

Q.  In a democratic society, how important are elections
A...  Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election

Q.  What are steroids?
A...  Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs
      (Shoot yourself now, there is little hope)

Q.  What happens to your body as you age?
A...  When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental

Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A... He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery
(So true)

Q.  Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
A...  Premature death

Q.  What is artificial insemination?
A...  When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow

Q.  How can you delay milk turning sour?
A...  Keep it in the cow
      (Simple, but brilliant)

Q.  How are the main 20 parts of the body categorized (e.g. The abdomen)
A...  The body is consisted into 3 parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity.
     The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A,E,I,O,U

Q.  What is the fibula?
A...  A small lie

Q.  What does 'varicose' mean?
A...  Nearby

Q.  What is the most common form of birth control?
A...  Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium
      (That would work)

Q.  Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarean section'.
A...  The caesarean section is a district in Rome

Q.  What is a seizure?
A...  A Roman Emperor.
      (Julius Seizure, I came, I saw, I had a fit)

Q.  What is a terminal illness?
A...  When you are sick at the airport.
      (Irrefutable)

Q.  What does the word 'benign' mean?
A...  Benign is what you will be after you be eight
      (brilliant)

Q.  What is a turbine?
A...  Something an Arab or Shreik wears on his head. Once a Arab boy reaches puberty, he removes his diaper and wraps it around his head.
     

Tuesday, October 28, 2014

EBOLA VIRUS

From My InBox:


There is currently an Ebola outbreak putting all of us at risk.
Pls help educate all around u by sending this msg to all your contacts..

It's a virus that attacks a person blood system:
Ebola is what scientists call a hemorrhagic fever - it operates by making
Usually victims bleed to death.
Ebola is highly contagious;
Being transmitted via contact with body fluids
About 90% of people that catch Ebola will die from it.
It's one of the deadliest diseases in the world, killing in just a few weeks.
Untreatable(no cure): Ebola has no known treatment or cure (for now).
Victims are usually treated for symptoms with the faint hope that they recover.





Wash Your Hands with Soap.
Do this a lot.
You can also use a good hand sanitizer.
Avoid unnecessary physical contact with people.
The virus cannot survive disinfectants,heat, direct sunlight,detergents and soaps.


Educate Everyone:
•Tell your neighbours, colleagues and domestic staff (anyone really).
Basically you're safer when everyone is educated.
****************************************************************************************************************

The elitist sports

Should you be attracted to men who are into elitist sports?  The kind that historically have been associated with wealth?

From My InBox:

Friday, October 24, 2014

Before fixing damaged it...

If your kids enjoy fixing electronics in the house, ifixit is where you would like them to go to before they renders the gadgets worthless.  

And what else can they learn in the process?

Thursday, October 16, 2014

ONE CAN'T BEAT THE INDIAN INGENUITY

From My InBox:

ONE CAN'T BEAT THE INDIAN INGENUITY

Dear All,

If you are doing MBA in business management here is something that you won't find  in text books.  But you could  write a best seller.  This itself could be one.  'LESSONS ON INDIAN INGENUITY. AND, GETTING DOWN TO BUSINESS  WITH PRAYERS.

A great case study for all management students!!

ONE CAN'T BEAT THE INDIAN INGENUITY – AT BEATING A SYSTEM

The world started taking notice of the 'Indian Ingenuity' about the time when software professionals were needed to help businesses with the Y2K issue. After that, our IT engineers started spreading their wings all over. Everyone has now accepted that India had arrived on the brain map of the world. But we know that this was not the real beginning - our ingenuity has a long history.

I would like to share one incident with you, which took place on one of my flights to prove my point. It could become a case study for any good business management school/ college. You can decide about that after you read the story.

THE FLIGHT

This happened on one of my flights when I was flying the Airbus-310 in Air India to the Gulf. It was on Jeddah – Mumbai sector some time in 1987/88. This was way before 9/11 attack on the World Trade Center. Terrorism had not shown its ugly face on the flights yet. The atmosphere on the flights used to be very cordial and friendly. I used to follow a  routine  on all my  flights which I continued with  till my retirement in 1998.

After reaching the designated altitude and settling down for some time, I would handover the controls to my co-pilot and take a walk around in the aircraft. I would go right up to the tail section of the aeroplane to meet the passengers on board and the crew as well. This habit of mine kept the cabin crew on their toes and the passengers were happy to see their pilot mixing around with them. The fear of terrorists, terrorism was unheard of. Those were the wonderful and blissful days of freedom on board the aircraft.

On this particular flight, when I reached the tail section I found a very strange group of people. They were really odd looking passengers. Some of them were maimed, some looked polio affected or with some deformity. They all were dressed very poorly. They did not look like Gulf returnees. After flying in the Gulf for a long time, we could make out a Gulf returnee at first glance. On seeing such a crowd I asked our In-flight Supervisor if these people had asked for some sort of help on landing. The answer  was 'No'. A normal passenger in such a condition would certainly ask for a wheelchair.  All that looked very odd to me. So after my round when I got back to the cockpit it kept bugging me about that odd group. I thought that I must investigate more about them.

So after some time I went back again to the tail section of the aircraft and asked the purser who was working in that section about the group. He told me that the group had two persons looking after all of them. I met those guys and started talking to them. I asked them where are they from. On seeing me in uniform they were very reluctant to talk to me. On persisting one of them said that they were from Eastern UP.  I told them that I had also stayed in that part of our country for some time when I was posted to Air force Station at Gorakhpur. They could not believe me as one of them was from Gorakhpur. After exchanging few notes they were convinced that I was telling the truth. Then the next thing I asked them was if they wanted to see the 'Hawai Jahaj', the airplane. Of course, they were keen. So I took both of them to the front and showed the cockpit from the door. On seeing all that they were just speechless. By now they were very much at home with me. Now when I asked them a few more questions, the whole story came tumbling out - and what a story that was!  What I heard was just mind boggling.

THE STORY

The group was of about 25/30 people. They were all Muslim beggars from Eastern UP. They were brought to Jeddah for 'UMRAH' pilgrimage before the start of the month of 'Ramadan'  by their 'Bade Chacha' who was sitting up front somewhere. Now they all were going back after 'Ramadan' and after the Id celebrations, There is NO problem about getting their passports and other permissions as there is no quota for 'Umrah' pilgrimage. They all stayed in a cheap 'Musafirkhana' in Jeddah. Their ONLY job during their stay at Jeddah was that during 'Ramadan' every evening they had to go and BEG in front different mosques in the city. At the end of the day all the money that was collected by them would be handed over to the 'Bade Chacha'. Nothing more was required from them. After they reached their homes in India, they all would be given Rs.10,000 / (Ten thousand) cash. That sort of money they would never see again in their life. When they told me how all that was done, I had to salute the INGENUITY of their 'Bade Chacha'.

MODUS OPERANDI

This is how the things worked.  The BOSS (Bade Chacha) used to collect 25 to 30 Muslim beggars in UP well before the beginning of 'Ramadan'- month of fasting.  He would have no difficulty in getting passports/Visa for them from the Lucknow Passport Office. Any Muslim could apply for 'Umrah' pilgrimage at any time as there are no restrictions on their travel. He would then approach Air India through his travel agent for a group booking asking for the cheapest rates which he could get. After reaching Jeddah he would accommodate them in the cheapest 'Musafirkhana'. As there is no big rush like the HAJ time, he would have no problem on that. He would spend very little on that account. Food for all these people would come from different mosques, where food is distributed to any one before the sunrise and after the sunset. Expenses on food during the day are nil as all of them are supposed to be fasting. So for the whole month of Ramadan feeding this big group was NO big problem.

Now during Ramadan, before breaking their daily fast the local Arabs would like to dole out alms (big amounts) to the needy and poor. So all these people would BEG in front different mosques and the money collected would be given to the Boss. After Ramadan there would be Id celebrations where these people would earn even more. So after a nice stay of more than a month in Jeddah they would head back home. A very smart operation performed by any standard.

After a long chat I told them to get back to their seats with a promise that they will introduce me to their 'Bade Chacha' after landing.

AFTER LANDING

After reaching Mumbai when we, the cockpit crew, reached the customs hall, I found my friends with their Bade Chacha waiting for their checked in baggage. So I went and met the boss. He looked like a very nice and docile man. When I asked him about his activities, he told me that he was doing all this for these poor people. They would never get a chance to do the HAJ pilgrimage so as good hearted man he was doing all this. I told him that I very much appreciated his good deed and we parted.

While going back home I started thinking about the whole flight and my encounter with this group of people. I found that this to be a fantastic case of WIN - WIN - WIN situation. Going over in my mind I realised that every single person is happy in this story.

The Arab who doled out alms to the needy before breaking his fast during Ramadan was very happy for doing some good deed for that day.

The Muslim Beggar, who could never have imagined a plane ride and the religious pilgrimage, was able to do so. Then for more than a month he had a food feast! Free of charge. On finishing the whole trip he would be given ten thousand rupees cash in hand. He would be the happiest man on the earth.

Now about the 'Bade Chacha'. When we all thought and calculated about the whole operation we realised that this man even after taking care of all the expenses for the group must have earned a cool amount of ten to twelve lakh of rupees per trip. One can imagine the value of that in 1987. So he too would a very happy man.

The events on this whole flight got me thinking. Every single person involved in this story was happy and satisfied. But there was a tinge of exploitation somewhere at some stage. I could not pin point it where! So I wrote an article on the episode which published in one of the Marathi news papers. I thought I had covered all the angles of the story. BUT that was not the case!

TAIL PIECE

After about a month when I was going on a flight, one of the Immigration officers came to me and asked me my name and then introduced himself. He had read my article in the newspaper and he wanted to talk about that. The information he came out with was even more baffling and much more interesting. Since he was working at the airport, his info was very authentic.

This was the time when Indian economy had not opened up to the world markets as yet. Gadgets like Washing machines, VCR's, TV's were very much in demand. So the travel agent who had booked this group would import such gadgets on their names as 'UNACCOMPANIED' baggage later on. Those poor people would not know anything about this at all. The custom rule was that passengers can get such stuff into the country within three months of their arrival date. So very thing was proper and legal. There was a ready market available for such items which would be sold with very big premiums. So now the travel agent and few officers shared the loot. This was the fourth or fifth angle to my story. MIND BOGGLING.

I hope now you will agree with me that this qualifies as a case study for any Business Management school/college. This was a Win-Win-Win-Win situation, everyone is happy in the end.

One thing is for sure, you can't beat the INDIAN INGENUITY at beating a system.

An ad that motivates

Frankly speaking, I do not know what this ad is trying to sell but I enjoy its motivational push




Tuesday, October 14, 2014

Make Time for "Power Pose"

You are all going to like this.  I just discovered something very easy to follow through towards getting to your positive self from watching Amy Cuddy talk about "Your body language shapes who you are".

Can you still remember this Wonder Woman pose?  

Superwoman-Power-Pose.jpg

All you have to do is to find a place, where you can do this "Power Pose" to build up your confidence level and feel positive about yourself.  According to Amy Cuddy, the presence you bring to the speech can also bring positive effect because studies showed that our bodies can change our minds and our minds can change our behaviour and our behaviour can change our outcome.  She suggested that we fake it till we become it. 


You can also read about it at the following links:
2 minute exercise that is proven to boost your personal power

I am heading to the toilet for my "power pose".  To pee or not to pee is an option.

Monday, October 13, 2014

Sex; American man vs Japanese man.

Aunty Agony advise to this message.  Go buy this book
"US Citizenship For Dummies" 



From My InBox

On average, any American man will have sex two to three times a week, where as a Japanese man will have sex only one or two times a year.


This is upsetting news to me ...... as I had no idea I was Japanese.

Thursday, October 2, 2014

Making food. A career related to art.

If you would like to start a career related to art, you can consider the food industry?

Wednesday, October 1, 2014

Can beat this kind of service?

Have you heard of KLM Lost & Found service?  Can you beat this kind of service?

From My InBox: