Reaching That Roadblock Again
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From My InBox:
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Touching Words for Your Jouney
These messages reminded me of an article I wrote before. You can read it off this link:
Reaching That Roadblock Again
http://greenbeings.bravehost.com/block.htm
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From My InBox:
Reaching That Roadblock Again
http://greenbeings.bravehost.com/block.htm
==================================================================
From My InBox:
Memoirs of IMH (Institute of Mental Health)
From My InBox:
Record I
Patient A: "So how... this book not bad yah?"
Patient B: "Yah agree, excellent! Astounding work. No nonsense, sharp
and concise to the point. But there's a major flaw in this piece of art
- too many character names to remember!!!"
Nurse: "Hey! Can the two of you put the telephone book back to the
original place?"
Record II
A doctor asked a patient: "If I were to cut one of your ears off, what
will happen to you?"
Patient: "Then I will not be able to hear..."
Doctor: "Hmm...that's normal...so if I were to cut your other ear off,
what will happen then?"
Patient: "I will not be able to see..."
The doctor became nervous and asked: "Why would you not see then???"
Patient: "Because my spectacles will fall off..."
Record III
IMH has an old lady who wears black, carries a black umbrella and squats
at the entrance to the IMH everyday without fail, rain or shine.
The doctor wanted to administer treatment for her but decided to
understand her behavior first.
So, the doctor also wears black and carries a black umbrella; squatted
besides her everyday. The days go by...the two of them squatted
side-by-side w/o a single exchange of word. After one solid month, the
old lady finally broke the silence and asked the doctor: "Err...Excuse
me! Are you also a mushroom?"
Record IV
A nurse saw a patient writing a letter. She got curiou! s and went to
take a peek. But the patient didn't wanna let her see.
Nurse (unable to contain her curiosity): "Who are you writing to?"
Patient: "I'm writing a letter to myself..."
Her curiosity grew and she thought to herself (Why would someone write a
letter to himself?)
So she asked again: "So...what's written inside?"
Patient (got impatient): "You crazy ah? I haven't received the letter,
how would I know??"
Record V
Two patients escape from the IMH. They! climbed up a tree and one of
them fell from the tree and started roll ing on the ground.
After a while, the patient below shouted to the one on top: "Hey! How
come you are not coming down yet?"
The patient on top replied: "No. no...I can't...I'm not ripe yet"
Record VI
One patient visited the doctor: "Doc...How? I think I'm a chicken since
the day I was born..."
Doctor: "Wah! That's very serious...Why do you only come and seek
treatment now?" Patient: "Because my family needs me to hatch the
eggs..."
Record VII
One truck driver was doing his usual delivery to IMH.
He discovered a flat tyre when he was about to go home. He jacked up the
truck and took the flat tyre down. When he was about to fix the spare
tyre, he accidentally dropped all the bolts into the drain. As he can't
fish the bolts out, he started to panic.
One patient happened to walk past and asked the driver what happened.
The driver thought to himself, since there's nothing much he can do; he
told the patient the whole incident.
The patient laughed at him & said "can't even fix such a simple
problem.! ..no wonder you are destined to be a truck driver..."
Here's what you can do, take one bolt each from the other 3 tyres and
fix it onto this tyre. Then drive to the nearest workshop and replace
the missing ones, easy as that"
The driver was very impressed and asked "You're so smart but why do are
you here at the IMH?"
Patient replied: "Hello, I stay here because I'm crazy not STUPID!"
Record I
Patient A: "So how... this book not bad yah?"
Patient B: "Yah agree, excellent! Astounding work. No nonsense, sharp
and concise to the point. But there's a major flaw in this piece of art
- too many character names to remember!!!"
Nurse: "Hey! Can the two of you put the telephone book back to the
original place?"
Record II
A doctor asked a patient: "If I were to cut one of your ears off, what
will happen to you?"
Patient: "Then I will not be able to hear..."
Doctor: "Hmm...that's normal...so if I were to cut your other ear off,
what will happen then?"
Patient: "I will not be able to see..."
The doctor became nervous and asked: "Why would you not see then???"
Patient: "Because my spectacles will fall off..."
Record III
IMH has an old lady who wears black, carries a black umbrella and squats
at the entrance to the IMH everyday without fail, rain or shine.
The doctor wanted to administer treatment for her but decided to
understand her behavior first.
So, the doctor also wears black and carries a black umbrella; squatted
besides her everyday. The days go by...the two of them squatted
side-by-side w/o a single exchange of word. After one solid month, the
old lady finally broke the silence and asked the doctor: "Err...Excuse
me! Are you also a mushroom?"
Record IV
A nurse saw a patient writing a letter. She got curiou! s and went to
take a peek. But the patient didn't wanna let her see.
Nurse (unable to contain her curiosity): "Who are you writing to?"
Patient: "I'm writing a letter to myself..."
Her curiosity grew and she thought to herself (Why would someone write a
letter to himself?)
So she asked again: "So...what's written inside?"
Patient (got impatient): "You crazy ah? I haven't received the letter,
how would I know??"
Record V
Two patients escape from the IMH. They! climbed up a tree and one of
them fell from the tree and started roll ing on the ground.
After a while, the patient below shouted to the one on top: "Hey! How
come you are not coming down yet?"
The patient on top replied: "No. no...I can't...I'm not ripe yet"
Record VI
One patient visited the doctor: "Doc...How? I think I'm a chicken since
the day I was born..."
Doctor: "Wah! That's very serious...Why do you only come and seek
treatment now?" Patient: "Because my family needs me to hatch the
eggs..."
Record VII
One truck driver was doing his usual delivery to IMH.
He discovered a flat tyre when he was about to go home. He jacked up the
truck and took the flat tyre down. When he was about to fix the spare
tyre, he accidentally dropped all the bolts into the drain. As he can't
fish the bolts out, he started to panic.
One patient happened to walk past and asked the driver what happened.
The driver thought to himself, since there's nothing much he can do; he
told the patient the whole incident.
The patient laughed at him & said "can't even fix such a simple
problem.! ..no wonder you are destined to be a truck driver..."
Here's what you can do, take one bolt each from the other 3 tyres and
fix it onto this tyre. Then drive to the nearest workshop and replace
the missing ones, easy as that"
The driver was very impressed and asked "You're so smart but why do are
you here at the IMH?"
Patient replied: "Hello, I stay here because I'm crazy not STUPID!"
Thursday, May 7, 2009
How To Stop Absorbing Other People’S Negative Emotions
Feeling down? Need answers? Just pop over to Amir Saif's SlideSpace and check out his slideshows. Here is one.
Trivials
If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.
(Hardly seems worth it.)
If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.
(Now that's more like it ! )
The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.
(O.M.G..!)
A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes..
(In my next life, I want to be a pig.)
A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death. (Creepy.)
(I'm still not over the pig.)
Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories a hour
(Don't try this at home, maybe at work)
The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.
(Honey, I'm home. What the...?!)
The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field.
(30 minutes.. Lucky pig! Can you imagine?)
The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.
(What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)
Some lions mate over 50 times a day.
(I still want to be a pig in my next life....quality over quantity)
Butterflies taste with their feet.
(Something I always wanted to know.)
The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue. (Hmmmmmm......)
Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people.
(If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)
Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.
(Okay, so that would be a good thing)
A cat's urine glows under a black light.
(I wonder who was paid to figure that out?)
An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
( I know some people like that.)
Starfish have no brains
(I know some people like that too..)
Polar bears are left-handed. (If they switch, they'll live a lot longer)
Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.
(What about that pig??)
Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread these crazy facts and send this to someone you want to bring a smile to, maybe even a chuckle!
In other words, send it to everyone!
(and God love that pig!)
(Hardly seems worth it.)
If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.
(Now that's more like it ! )
The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.
(O.M.G..!)
A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes..
(In my next life, I want to be a pig.)
A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death. (Creepy.)
(I'm still not over the pig.)
Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories a hour
(Don't try this at home, maybe at work)
The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.
(Honey, I'm home. What the...?!)
The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field.
(30 minutes.. Lucky pig! Can you imagine?)
The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.
(What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)
Some lions mate over 50 times a day.
(I still want to be a pig in my next life....quality over quantity)
Butterflies taste with their feet.
(Something I always wanted to know.)
The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue. (Hmmmmmm......)
Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people.
(If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)
Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.
(Okay, so that would be a good thing)
A cat's urine glows under a black light.
(I wonder who was paid to figure that out?)
An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
( I know some people like that.)
Starfish have no brains
(I know some people like that too..)
Polar bears are left-handed. (If they switch, they'll live a lot longer)
Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.
(What about that pig??)
Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread these crazy facts and send this to someone you want to bring a smile to, maybe even a chuckle!
In other words, send it to everyone!
(and God love that pig!)
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