Heard of Tirol in Germany? My friend emailed me slides of the place. It looks like a heavenly place to visit. MaWitch shared the same slides on Slideshare.
From My InBox:
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Saturday, November 29, 2008
Some facts about Mammograms.
Since I have written about "MAMMOGRAM SERVICE AT SUBSIDISED RATE", I think it is best to also share this article, "Mammograms: What For, Exactly?" by Dr. Ben Kim.
He wrote that a routine mammogram screening typically subjects a woman to more than 1000 times the amount of radiation that is used for a single chest x-ray. As we all know, radiation is capable of contributing to cancer and heart disease.
He added that performing a breast self-examination is a better option and provided a link to Pictures of Breast Self-Exam.
Read the article yourself for the rest of the reasons he provided, based on information on mammograms by Samuel Epstein, M.D.
He wrote that a routine mammogram screening typically subjects a woman to more than 1000 times the amount of radiation that is used for a single chest x-ray. As we all know, radiation is capable of contributing to cancer and heart disease.
He added that performing a breast self-examination is a better option and provided a link to Pictures of Breast Self-Exam.
Read the article yourself for the rest of the reasons he provided, based on information on mammograms by Samuel Epstein, M.D.
Friday, November 28, 2008
10 Funny phone answering messages
From My InBox:
10. My wife and I can't come to the phone right now, but if you'll leave your name and number, we'll get back to you as soon as we're finished.
9. Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My owners do not need siding, windows or a hot tub, and their carpets are clean. They give to charity at the office and don't need their picture taken. If you're still with me, leave your name and home phone number and they will get back to you.
8. This is not an answering machine - this is a telepathic thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your number, and your reason for calling..... And I'll think about returning your call.
7. Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets.
6. Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my bank, you didn't lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don't worry, I have LOTS of money.
5. A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why we're not here. So, leave a message.
4. Hello! If you leave a message, I'll call you soon. If you leave a "sexy" message, I'll call sooner.
3. Hi. Now YOU say something.
2. Hi. I'm probably home; I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you.
1. Hello, you've reached Jim and Sonya. We can't pick up the phone right now, because we're doing something we really enjoy. Sonya likes doing it up and down, and I like doing it left to right...real slow. So leave a message, and when we're done brushing our teeth, we'll call you back .
10. My wife and I can't come to the phone right now, but if you'll leave your name and number, we'll get back to you as soon as we're finished.
9. Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My owners do not need siding, windows or a hot tub, and their carpets are clean. They give to charity at the office and don't need their picture taken. If you're still with me, leave your name and home phone number and they will get back to you.
8. This is not an answering machine - this is a telepathic thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your number, and your reason for calling..... And I'll think about returning your call.
7. Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets.
6. Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my bank, you didn't lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don't worry, I have LOTS of money.
5. A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why we're not here. So, leave a message.
4. Hello! If you leave a message, I'll call you soon. If you leave a "sexy" message, I'll call sooner.
3. Hi. Now YOU say something.
2. Hi. I'm probably home; I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you.
1. Hello, you've reached Jim and Sonya. We can't pick up the phone right now, because we're doing something we really enjoy. Sonya likes doing it up and down, and I like doing it left to right...real slow. So leave a message, and when we're done brushing our teeth, we'll call you back .
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Enlighted perspective
According to Snopes, these thoughts were not written by Andy Rooney but were a collection of statements from people from the ages of between 5 and 95 printed in a book, "Live and Learn and Pass It On, Volume II".
==============================================================================
From My InBox:
They're written by Andy Rooney, a man who has the gift of saying so much with so few words.Enjoy.......
I've learned.... That the best classroom in the world is at the feet of an elderly person.
I've learned.... That when you're in love, it shows.
I've learned.... That just one person saying to me, 'You've made my day!' makes my day.
I've learned.... That having a child fall asleep in your arms is one of the most peaceful feelings in the world.
I've learned.... That being kind is more important than being right.
I've learned.... That you should never say no to a gift from a child.
I've learned.... That I can always pray for someone when I don't have the strength to help him in some other way.
I've learned.... That no matter how serious your life requires you to be, everyone needs a friend to act goofy with.
I've learned.... That sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold and a heart to understand.
I've learned.... That simple walks with my father around the block on summer nights when I was a child did wonders for me as an adult.
I've learned.... That life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.
I've learned.... That we should be glad God doesn't give us everything we ask for.
I've learned.... That money doesn't buy class.
I've learned.... That it's those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular .
I've learned... That under everyone's hard shell is someone who wants to be appreciated and loved.
I've learned.... That to ignore the facts does not change the facts.
I 've learned.... That when you plan to get even with someone, you are only letting that person continue to hurt you.
I've learned.... That love, not time, heals all wounds.
I've learned.... That the easiest way for me to grow as a person is to surround myself with people smarter than I am.
I've learned.... That everyone you meet deserves to be greeted with a smile.
I've learned.... That no one is perfect until you fall in love with them.
I've learned... That life is tough, but I'm tougher.
I've learned.... That opportunities are never lost, someone will take the ones you miss.
I've learned .... That when you harbor bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere.
I've learned.... That I wish I could have told my Mom and Dad that I loved them one more time before they passed away.
I've learned.... That one should keep his words both soft and tender, because tomorrow he may have to eat them.
I've learned.... That a smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks.
I've learned.... That when your newly born grandchild holds your little finger in his little fist, that you're hooked for life.
I've learned.... That everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you're climbing it.
I've learned.... That the less time I have to work with, the more things I get done.
==============================================================================
From My InBox:
They're written by Andy Rooney, a man who has the gift of saying so much with so few words.Enjoy.......
I've learned.... That the best classroom in the world is at the feet of an elderly person.
I've learned.... That when you're in love, it shows.
I've learned.... That just one person saying to me, 'You've made my day!' makes my day.
I've learned.... That having a child fall asleep in your arms is one of the most peaceful feelings in the world.
I've learned.... That being kind is more important than being right.
I've learned.... That you should never say no to a gift from a child.
I've learned.... That I can always pray for someone when I don't have the strength to help him in some other way.
I've learned.... That no matter how serious your life requires you to be, everyone needs a friend to act goofy with.
I've learned.... That sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold and a heart to understand.
I've learned.... That simple walks with my father around the block on summer nights when I was a child did wonders for me as an adult.
I've learned.... That life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.
I've learned.... That we should be glad God doesn't give us everything we ask for.
I've learned.... That money doesn't buy class.
I've learned.... That it's those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular .
I've learned... That under everyone's hard shell is someone who wants to be appreciated and loved.
I've learned.... That to ignore the facts does not change the facts.
I 've learned.... That when you plan to get even with someone, you are only letting that person continue to hurt you.
I've learned.... That love, not time, heals all wounds.
I've learned.... That the easiest way for me to grow as a person is to surround myself with people smarter than I am.
I've learned.... That everyone you meet deserves to be greeted with a smile.
I've learned.... That no one is perfect until you fall in love with them.
I've learned... That life is tough, but I'm tougher.
I've learned.... That opportunities are never lost, someone will take the ones you miss.
I've learned .... That when you harbor bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere.
I've learned.... That I wish I could have told my Mom and Dad that I loved them one more time before they passed away.
I've learned.... That one should keep his words both soft and tender, because tomorrow he may have to eat them.
I've learned.... That a smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks.
I've learned.... That when your newly born grandchild holds your little finger in his little fist, that you're hooked for life.
I've learned.... That everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you're climbing it.
I've learned.... That the less time I have to work with, the more things I get done.
Scotch with 2 drops of water
Scotch with two drops of water.
A lady goes to the bar on a cruise ship and orders a Scotch with two drops of water. As the bartender gives her the drink she says, "I'm on this cruise to celebrate my 80th birthday and it's today."
The bartender says, "Well, since it's your birthday, I'll buy you a drink. In fact, this one is on me."
As the woman finishes her drink, the woman to her right says, "I would like to buy you a drink, too."
The old woman says, "Thank you. Bartender, I want a Scotch with two drops of water."
"Coming up," says the bartender.
As she finishes that drink, the man to her left says, "I would like to buy you one, too."
The old woman says, "Thank you. Bartender, I want another Scotch with two drops of water."
"Coming right up," the bartender says. As he gives her the drink, he says, "Ma'am, I'm dying of curiosity. Why the Scotch with only two drops of water?"
The old woman replies, "Sonny, when you're my age, you've learned how to hold your liquor. Holding your water, however, is a whole other issue."
'OLD' IS WHEN...
Your sweetie says, 'Let's go upstairs
and make love,' and you answer,
'Pick one; I can't do both!'
'OLD' IS WHEN...
Your friends compliment you
on your new alligator shoes
and you're barefoot.
'OLD' IS WHEN...
A sexy babe catches your fancy
and your pacemaker opens the garage door,
'OLD' IS WHEN...
Going bra less
pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.
'OLD' IS WHEN...
You don't care where your spouse goes,
just as long as you don't have to go along.
'OLD' IS WHEN...
You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police
'OLD' IS WHEN...
'Getting a little action'
means you don't need to take any fiber today.
'OLD' IS WHEN...
'Getting lucky' means you find your car
in the parking lot.
'OLD' IS WHEN...
An 'all nighter' means not getting up
to use the bathroom.
AND
'OLD' IS WHEN...
You are not sure these are jokes
A lady goes to the bar on a cruise ship and orders a Scotch with two drops of water. As the bartender gives her the drink she says, "I'm on this cruise to celebrate my 80th birthday and it's today."
The bartender says, "Well, since it's your birthday, I'll buy you a drink. In fact, this one is on me."
As the woman finishes her drink, the woman to her right says, "I would like to buy you a drink, too."
The old woman says, "Thank you. Bartender, I want a Scotch with two drops of water."
"Coming up," says the bartender.
As she finishes that drink, the man to her left says, "I would like to buy you one, too."
The old woman says, "Thank you. Bartender, I want another Scotch with two drops of water."
"Coming right up," the bartender says. As he gives her the drink, he says, "Ma'am, I'm dying of curiosity. Why the Scotch with only two drops of water?"
The old woman replies, "Sonny, when you're my age, you've learned how to hold your liquor. Holding your water, however, is a whole other issue."
'OLD' IS WHEN...
Your sweetie says, 'Let's go upstairs
and make love,' and you answer,
'Pick one; I can't do both!'
'OLD' IS WHEN...
Your friends compliment you
on your new alligator shoes
and you're barefoot.
'OLD' IS WHEN...
A sexy babe catches your fancy
and your pacemaker opens the garage door,
'OLD' IS WHEN...
Going bra less
pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.
'OLD' IS WHEN...
You don't care where your spouse goes,
just as long as you don't have to go along.
'OLD' IS WHEN...
You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police
'OLD' IS WHEN...
'Getting a little action'
means you don't need to take any fiber today.
'OLD' IS WHEN...
'Getting lucky' means you find your car
in the parking lot.
'OLD' IS WHEN...
An 'all nighter' means not getting up
to use the bathroom.
AND
'OLD' IS WHEN...
You are not sure these are jokes
Are We Friends without Faces.... !!!
From My InBox:
We sit and we type, and we stare at our screens,
We all have to wonder, what this possibly means.
With our mouse we roam, through the rooms in a maze,
Looking for something or someone, as we sit in a daze.
We chat with each other, we type all our woes,
Small groups we do form, and gang up on our foes.
We wait for somebody, to type out our name,
We want recognition, but it is always the same.
We give kisses and hugs, and sometimes flirt In,
PMs we chat deeply, and reveal why we're hurtin.
We do form friendships - but - why we don't know,
But some of these friendships, will flourish and grow.
Why is it on screen, we can be so bold,
Telling our secrets, that have never been told.
Why is it we share, the thoughts in our mind,
With those we can't see, as though we were blind.
The answer is simple, it is as clear as a bell,
We all have our problems, and need someone to tell.
We can't tell real people, but tell someone we must,
So we turn to the 'puter, and to those we can trust.
Even though it is crazy, the truth still remains,
They are Friends Without Faces, and odd little names.
We sit and we type, and we stare at our screens,
We all have to wonder, what this possibly means.
With our mouse we roam, through the rooms in a maze,
Looking for something or someone, as we sit in a daze.
We chat with each other, we type all our woes,
Small groups we do form, and gang up on our foes.
We wait for somebody, to type out our name,
We want recognition, but it is always the same.
We give kisses and hugs, and sometimes flirt In,
PMs we chat deeply, and reveal why we're hurtin.
We do form friendships - but - why we don't know,
But some of these friendships, will flourish and grow.
Why is it on screen, we can be so bold,
Telling our secrets, that have never been told.
Why is it we share, the thoughts in our mind,
With those we can't see, as though we were blind.
The answer is simple, it is as clear as a bell,
We all have our problems, and need someone to tell.
We can't tell real people, but tell someone we must,
So we turn to the 'puter, and to those we can trust.
Even though it is crazy, the truth still remains,
They are Friends Without Faces, and odd little names.
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Beautiful short story about love
From My InBox:
Maria married Peter this day. At the end of the wedding party,
Maria's mother gave her a newly opened bank saving passbook.
With Rs.1000 deposit amount.
Mother: 'Maria, take this passbook. Keep it as a record of your marriage life. When there's something happy and memorable happened in your new life, put some money in. Write down what it's about next to the line. The more memorable the event is, the more money you can put in. I've done the first one for you today. Do the others with Peter. When you look back after years, you can know how much happiness you've had.'
Maria shared this with Peter when getting home. They both thought it was a great idea and were anxious to know when the second deposit can be made.
This was what they did after certain time:
- 7 Feb: Rs.100, first birthday celebration for Peter after marriage
- 1 Mar: Rs.300, salary raise for Maria
- 20 Mar: Rs.200, vacation trip to Bali
- 15 Apr: Rs.2000, Maria got pregnant
- 1 Jun: Rs.1000, Peter got promoted
...... and so on...
However, after years, they started fighting and arguing for trivial things. They didn't talk much. They regretted that they had married the nastiest people in the world.... no more love...Kind of typical nowadays, huh?
One day Maria talked to her Mother:
'Mom, we can't stand it anymore. We agree to divorce. I can't imagine how I decided to marry this guy!!!'
Mother: 'Sure, girl, that's no big deal. Just do whatever you want if you really can't stand it. But before that, do one thing first.
Remember the saving passbook I gave you on your wedding day? Take out all money and spend it first. You shouldn't keep any record of such a poor marriage.'
Maria thought it was true. So she went to the bank, waiting at the queue and planning to cancel the account.
While she was waiting, she took a look at the passbook record. She looked, and looked, and looked. Then the memory of all the previous joy and happiness just came up her mind. Her eyes were then filled with tears. She left and went home.
When she was home, she handed the passbook to Peter, asked him to spend the money before getting divorce.
The next day, Peter gave the passbook back to Maria. She found a new deposit of Rs.5000. And a line next to the record: 'this is the day I notice how much I've loved you thru out all these years. How
much happiness you've brought me.'
They hugged and cried, putting the passbook back to the safe.
Do you know how much money they had saved when they retired? I did not ask. I believe the money did not matter any more after they had gone thru all the good years in their life.
"When you fall, in any way, Don't see the place where you fell, Instead see the place from where you slipped.
Life is about correcting mistakes."
Always be happy & keep smiling,
Maria married Peter this day. At the end of the wedding party,
Maria's mother gave her a newly opened bank saving passbook.
With Rs.1000 deposit amount.
Mother: 'Maria, take this passbook. Keep it as a record of your marriage life. When there's something happy and memorable happened in your new life, put some money in. Write down what it's about next to the line. The more memorable the event is, the more money you can put in. I've done the first one for you today. Do the others with Peter. When you look back after years, you can know how much happiness you've had.'
Maria shared this with Peter when getting home. They both thought it was a great idea and were anxious to know when the second deposit can be made.
This was what they did after certain time:
- 7 Feb: Rs.100, first birthday celebration for Peter after marriage
- 1 Mar: Rs.300, salary raise for Maria
- 20 Mar: Rs.200, vacation trip to Bali
- 15 Apr: Rs.2000, Maria got pregnant
- 1 Jun: Rs.1000, Peter got promoted
...... and so on...
However, after years, they started fighting and arguing for trivial things. They didn't talk much. They regretted that they had married the nastiest people in the world.... no more love...Kind of typical nowadays, huh?
One day Maria talked to her Mother:
'Mom, we can't stand it anymore. We agree to divorce. I can't imagine how I decided to marry this guy!!!'
Mother: 'Sure, girl, that's no big deal. Just do whatever you want if you really can't stand it. But before that, do one thing first.
Remember the saving passbook I gave you on your wedding day? Take out all money and spend it first. You shouldn't keep any record of such a poor marriage.'
Maria thought it was true. So she went to the bank, waiting at the queue and planning to cancel the account.
While she was waiting, she took a look at the passbook record. She looked, and looked, and looked. Then the memory of all the previous joy and happiness just came up her mind. Her eyes were then filled with tears. She left and went home.
When she was home, she handed the passbook to Peter, asked him to spend the money before getting divorce.
The next day, Peter gave the passbook back to Maria. She found a new deposit of Rs.5000. And a line next to the record: 'this is the day I notice how much I've loved you thru out all these years. How
much happiness you've brought me.'
They hugged and cried, putting the passbook back to the safe.
Do you know how much money they had saved when they retired? I did not ask. I believe the money did not matter any more after they had gone thru all the good years in their life.
"When you fall, in any way, Don't see the place where you fell, Instead see the place from where you slipped.
Life is about correcting mistakes."
Always be happy & keep smiling,
Impossible love. Do you mind?
Here is an impossible love that can get me all confused. I love playing with words. Here is one.
Imagine MIND stands for "Mimic Incidents Not Decent".
That is what all minds tend to love to do sometimes. So, the call is to
DON'T Mimic Incidents Not Decent!
Why? Because I do mind, especially, if my kids are at it.
So, what am I saying here?
DON'T Mimic Incidents Not Decent. I do MIND.
But then, that is the kind of thing the mind loves to do that I would prick my kids up and away from.
Like that? Vote to claim "I'd Wear It".
Flood situation at Santa Catarina region.
Landslides and floods caused by heavy rains affected more than 1.5 million people living in 8 regions of Santa Catarina in southern Brazil. They are facing the worst weather tragedy in history.
Helga shared this story affecting her country on SlideShare.
What can you do for them?
Helga shared this story affecting her country on SlideShare.
What can you do for them?
Free Hugs, anyone?
I discovered from Oliver Ding that is a Free Hug campaign going on. Juan Mann started it with a mission to reach out and hug strangers to brighten up their lives.
Read his story to find out how it all started and watch this video of Juan Mann in action.
There is a Hindu spiritual leader, Mata Amritanandamayi, who is also known as 'Amma' or the 'hugging saint'. So, for those who may think it is inappropriate to hug strangers, do it for spiritual connection.
Find out when and where the next free hug event will be organised and see if you can take part in it. You can also create your own freehugs movement. Just use its FORUM (link currently broken) to recruit volunteers in your area.
Their advise, which you should take note of, is that you make sure that you will not get into trouble with the local laws to start your Hugathon! Need the inspiration to start? Watch more videos of this movement initiated in other countries.
Read his story to find out how it all started and watch this video of Juan Mann in action.
There is a Hindu spiritual leader, Mata Amritanandamayi, who is also known as 'Amma' or the 'hugging saint'. So, for those who may think it is inappropriate to hug strangers, do it for spiritual connection.
Find out when and where the next free hug event will be organised and see if you can take part in it. You can also create your own freehugs movement. Just use its FORUM (link currently broken) to recruit volunteers in your area.
Their advise, which you should take note of, is that you make sure that you will not get into trouble with the local laws to start your Hugathon! Need the inspiration to start? Watch more videos of this movement initiated in other countries.
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Safety First
Greekhero shared this on Slideshare. I would have missed it if Smirza did not forward its link to me. Thanks, Smirza and Greekhero.
and it inspired another slogan.
Slip show slip.
http://www.typetees.com/score/908881/Slip_show_slip
It sounds better than
Your slip will show if you slip.
http://www.typetees.com/score/908878/Your_slip_will_show_if_you_slip
and it inspired another slogan.
Slip show slip.
http://www.typetees.com/score/908881/Slip_show_slip
It sounds better than
Your slip will show if you slip.
http://www.typetees.com/score/908878/Your_slip_will_show_if_you_slip
Would you say I am a thief?
Take a look at this slogan and tell me what it does for you? It inspired me to create.
You can call me a thief or click on the following link to claim "I'd wear it".
I'm not stupid. I'm just unenlightened.
http://www.typetees.com/score/908815/I_m_not_stupid_I_m_just_unenlightened
Here are more that I have created today at the ironing board.
The best place to iron things out is at the ironing board.
http://www.typetees.com/score/908799/The_best_place_to_iron_things_out_is_at_the_ironing_board
If you are happy and you know it say, "I do".
http://www.typetees.com/score/908792/If_you_are_happy_and_you_know_it_say_I_do
The road is long and winding without your glasses on.
http://www.typetees.com/score/908802/The_road_is_long_and_winding_without_your_glasses_on
It's OK to be what you are not as an actor.
http://www.typetees.com/score/908804/It_s_OK_to_be_what_you_are_not_as_an_actor
A psychiatrist makes a living calling people names.
http://www.typetees.com/score/908806/A_psychiatrist_makes_a_living_calling_people_names
Travel far and wide for vast knowledge and bills.
http://www.typetees.com/score/908808/Travel_far_and_wide_for_vast_knowledge_and_bills
How do I feel after creating so many slogans?
An active mind is a tired mind.
http://www.typetees.com/score/908803/An_active_mind_is_a_tired_mind
And you know what I thought of as I iron?
Where on web have you been? I need you to score my slogans!
http://www.typetees.com/score/908809/Where_on_web_have_you_been
OK, I need to
Rock-a-by baby, to the beat of rock.
http://www.typetees.com/score/908811/Rock_a_by_baby_to_the_beat_of_rock
...so that
My dreams came true in my dreams.
http://www.typetees.com/score/908813/My_dreams_came_true_in_my_dreams
...and hope this time my slogans got printed for real.
You can call me a thief or click on the following link to claim "I'd wear it".
I'm not stupid. I'm just unenlightened.
http://www.typetees.com/score/908815/I_m_not_stupid_I_m_just_unenlightened
Here are more that I have created today at the ironing board.
The best place to iron things out is at the ironing board.
http://www.typetees.com/score/908799/The_best_place_to_iron_things_out_is_at_the_ironing_board
If you are happy and you know it say, "I do".
http://www.typetees.com/score/908792/If_you_are_happy_and_you_know_it_say_I_do
The road is long and winding without your glasses on.
http://www.typetees.com/score/908802/The_road_is_long_and_winding_without_your_glasses_on
It's OK to be what you are not as an actor.
http://www.typetees.com/score/908804/It_s_OK_to_be_what_you_are_not_as_an_actor
A psychiatrist makes a living calling people names.
http://www.typetees.com/score/908806/A_psychiatrist_makes_a_living_calling_people_names
Travel far and wide for vast knowledge and bills.
http://www.typetees.com/score/908808/Travel_far_and_wide_for_vast_knowledge_and_bills
How do I feel after creating so many slogans?
An active mind is a tired mind.
http://www.typetees.com/score/908803/An_active_mind_is_a_tired_mind
And you know what I thought of as I iron?
Where on web have you been? I need you to score my slogans!
http://www.typetees.com/score/908809/Where_on_web_have_you_been
OK, I need to
Rock-a-by baby, to the beat of rock.
http://www.typetees.com/score/908811/Rock_a_by_baby_to_the_beat_of_rock
...so that
My dreams came true in my dreams.
http://www.typetees.com/score/908813/My_dreams_came_true_in_my_dreams
...and hope this time my slogans got printed for real.
Monday, November 24, 2008
It's Over ~~ Thank You
From My InBox:
I just want to thank all of you for your educational e-mails over the past year. I am totally screwed up now and have little chance of recovery.
I no longer open a public bathroom door without using a paper towel or have them put lemon slices in my ice water without worrying about the bacteria on the lemon peel.
I can't use the remote in a hotel room because I don't know what the last person was doing while flipping through the adult movie channels.
I can't sit down on the hotel bedspread because I can only imagine what has happened on it since it was last washed.
I have trouble shaking hands with someone who has been driving because the number one pastime while driving alone is picking ones nose (although cell phone usage may be taking the number one spot).
Eating a little snack sends me on a guilt trip because I can only imagine how many gallons of trans fats I have consumed over the years.
I can't touch any woman's purse for fear she has placed it on the floor of a public bathroom.
I MUST SEND MY SPECIAL THANKS to whoever sent me the one about poop in the glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet sponge with every envelope that needs sealing.
ALSO, now I have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.
I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl (Penny Brown) who is about to die in the hospital for the 1,387,258th time.
I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special e-mail program.
I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out for me, and St. Theresa's Novena has granted my every wish.
I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.
I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.
THANKS TO YOU I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward an e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.
BECAUSE OF YOUR CONCERN, I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains.
I no longer can buy gasoline without taking someone along to watch the car so a serial killer won't crawl in my back seat when I'm pumping gas.
I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr. Pepper since the people who make these products are atheists who refuse to put 'Under God' on their cans.
I no longer use Saran Wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer.
AND THANKS FOR LETTING ME KNOW I can't boil a cup of water in the microwave anymore because it will blow up in my face... disfiguring me for life.
I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS.
I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.
I no longer receive packages from UPS or Fed Ex since they are actually Al Qaeda in disguise.
I no longer shop at Target since they are French and don't support our American troops or the Salvation Army.
I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica , Uganda, Singapore, and Uzbekistan ..
I no longer buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus since I now have their recipe.
THANKS TO YOU I can't use anyone's toilet but mine because a big brown African spider is lurking under the seat to cause me instant death when it bites my butt.
THANKS TO YOUR GREAT ADVICE I can't ever pick up $5.00 dropped in the parking lot because it probably was placed there by a sex molester waiting underneath my car to grab my leg.
I can no longer drive my car because I can't buy gas from certain gas companies!
I can't do any gardening because I'm afraid I'll get bitten by the brown recluse and my hand will fall off.
If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 70 minutes, a large dove with diarrhea will land on your head at 5:00 p.m. tomorrow afternoon and the fleas from 12 camels will infest your back, causing you to grow a hairy hump. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbor's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's beautician . .
Oh, by the way.....
A German scientist from Argentina, after a lengthy study, has discovered that people with insufficient brain activity read their e-mail with their hand on the mouse.
Don't bother taking it off now, it's too late.
I just want to thank all of you for your educational e-mails over the past year. I am totally screwed up now and have little chance of recovery.
I no longer open a public bathroom door without using a paper towel or have them put lemon slices in my ice water without worrying about the bacteria on the lemon peel.
I can't use the remote in a hotel room because I don't know what the last person was doing while flipping through the adult movie channels.
I can't sit down on the hotel bedspread because I can only imagine what has happened on it since it was last washed.
I have trouble shaking hands with someone who has been driving because the number one pastime while driving alone is picking ones nose (although cell phone usage may be taking the number one spot).
Eating a little snack sends me on a guilt trip because I can only imagine how many gallons of trans fats I have consumed over the years.
I can't touch any woman's purse for fear she has placed it on the floor of a public bathroom.
I MUST SEND MY SPECIAL THANKS to whoever sent me the one about poop in the glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet sponge with every envelope that needs sealing.
ALSO, now I have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.
I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl (Penny Brown) who is about to die in the hospital for the 1,387,258th time.
I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special e-mail program.
I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out for me, and St. Theresa's Novena has granted my every wish.
I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.
I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.
THANKS TO YOU I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward an e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.
BECAUSE OF YOUR CONCERN, I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains.
I no longer can buy gasoline without taking someone along to watch the car so a serial killer won't crawl in my back seat when I'm pumping gas.
I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr. Pepper since the people who make these products are atheists who refuse to put 'Under God' on their cans.
I no longer use Saran Wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer.
AND THANKS FOR LETTING ME KNOW I can't boil a cup of water in the microwave anymore because it will blow up in my face... disfiguring me for life.
I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS.
I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.
I no longer receive packages from UPS or Fed Ex since they are actually Al Qaeda in disguise.
I no longer shop at Target since they are French and don't support our American troops or the Salvation Army.
I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica , Uganda, Singapore, and Uzbekistan ..
I no longer buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus since I now have their recipe.
THANKS TO YOU I can't use anyone's toilet but mine because a big brown African spider is lurking under the seat to cause me instant death when it bites my butt.
THANKS TO YOUR GREAT ADVICE I can't ever pick up $5.00 dropped in the parking lot because it probably was placed there by a sex molester waiting underneath my car to grab my leg.
I can no longer drive my car because I can't buy gas from certain gas companies!
I can't do any gardening because I'm afraid I'll get bitten by the brown recluse and my hand will fall off.
If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 70 minutes, a large dove with diarrhea will land on your head at 5:00 p.m. tomorrow afternoon and the fleas from 12 camels will infest your back, causing you to grow a hairy hump. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbor's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's beautician . .
Oh, by the way.....
A German scientist from Argentina, after a lengthy study, has discovered that people with insufficient brain activity read their e-mail with their hand on the mouse.
Don't bother taking it off now, it's too late.
MORNING SEX
From My InBox:
She was in the kitchen preparing to boil eggs for breakfast.
He walked in; She turned and said, 'You've got to make love to me this very moment.'
His eyes lit up and he thought, 'This is my lucky day.'
Not wanting to lose the moment, he embraced her and then gave it his all; right there on the kitchen table.
Afterwards she said 'Thanks,' and returned to the stove.
More than a little puzzled, he asked, 'What was that all about?'
She explained, 'The egg timer's broken.'
She was in the kitchen preparing to boil eggs for breakfast.
He walked in; She turned and said, 'You've got to make love to me this very moment.'
His eyes lit up and he thought, 'This is my lucky day.'
Not wanting to lose the moment, he embraced her and then gave it his all; right there on the kitchen table.
Afterwards she said 'Thanks,' and returned to the stove.
More than a little puzzled, he asked, 'What was that all about?'
She explained, 'The egg timer's broken.'
Blonde and WAL-MART joke
From My InBox:
A strawberry blonde was weed-eating her yard and accidentally cut off the tail of her cat which was hiding in the grass.
She rushed her cat, along with the tail, over to WAL-MART!
Why WAL-MART??
HELLOOOOOOOOO!
WALMART is the largest re-tailer in the world!!!
A strawberry blonde was weed-eating her yard and accidentally cut off the tail of her cat which was hiding in the grass.
She rushed her cat, along with the tail, over to WAL-MART!
Why WAL-MART??
HELLOOOOOOOOO!
WALMART is the largest re-tailer in the world!!!
A Modern Parable.
From My InBox:
A Japanese company ( Toyota ) and an American company (Ford Motors)
decided to have a canoe race on the Missouri River Both teams practiced
long and hard to reach their peak performance before the race.
On the big day, the Japanese won by a mile.
The Americans, very discouraged and depressed, decided to investigate the
reason for the crushing defeat. A management team made up of senior
management was formed to investigate and recommend appropriate action.
Their conclusion was the Japanese had 8 people rowing and 1 person
steering, while the American team had 7 people steering and 2 people
rowing.
Feeling a deeper study was in order; American management hired a consulting
company and paid them a large amount of money for a second opinion.
They advised, of course, that too many people were steering the boat, while
not enough people were rowing.
Not sure of how to utilize that information, but wanting to prevent
another loss to the Japanese, the rowing team's management structure was
totally reorganized to 4 steering supervisors, 2 area steering
superintendents and 1 assistant superintendent steering manager.
They also implemented a new performance system that would give the 2 people
rowing the boat greater incentive to work harder. It was called the
'Rowing Team Quality First Program,' with meetings, dinners and free pens
for the rowers. There was discussion of getting new paddles, canoes and
other equipment, extra vacation days for practices and bonuses. The
pension program was trimmed to 'equal the competition' and some of the
resultant savings were channeled into morale boosting programs and teamwork
posters.
The next year the Japanese won by two miles.
Humiliated, the American management laid-o ff one rower , halted
development of a new canoe, sold all t! he paddle as, and canceled all
capital investments for new equipment. The money saved was distributed to
the Senior Executives as bonuses.
The next year, try as he might, the lone designated rower was unable to
even finish the race (having no paddles,) so he was laid off for
unacceptable performance, all canoe equipment was sold and the next year's
racing team was out-sourced to India.
Sadly, the End.
Here's something else to think about: Ford has spent the last thirty years
moving all its factories out of the US , claiming they can't make money
paying American wages.
TOYOTA has spent the last thirty years building more than a dozen plants
inside the US The last quarter's results:
TOYOTA makes 4 billion in profits while Ford racked up 9 billion in losses.
Ford folks are still scratching their heads, and collecting bonuses...
IF THIS WEREN'T SO TRUE IT MIGHT BE FUNNY
A Japanese company ( Toyota ) and an American company (Ford Motors)
decided to have a canoe race on the Missouri River Both teams practiced
long and hard to reach their peak performance before the race.
On the big day, the Japanese won by a mile.
The Americans, very discouraged and depressed, decided to investigate the
reason for the crushing defeat. A management team made up of senior
management was formed to investigate and recommend appropriate action.
Their conclusion was the Japanese had 8 people rowing and 1 person
steering, while the American team had 7 people steering and 2 people
rowing.
Feeling a deeper study was in order; American management hired a consulting
company and paid them a large amount of money for a second opinion.
They advised, of course, that too many people were steering the boat, while
not enough people were rowing.
Not sure of how to utilize that information, but wanting to prevent
another loss to the Japanese, the rowing team's management structure was
totally reorganized to 4 steering supervisors, 2 area steering
superintendents and 1 assistant superintendent steering manager.
They also implemented a new performance system that would give the 2 people
rowing the boat greater incentive to work harder. It was called the
'Rowing Team Quality First Program,' with meetings, dinners and free pens
for the rowers. There was discussion of getting new paddles, canoes and
other equipment, extra vacation days for practices and bonuses. The
pension program was trimmed to 'equal the competition' and some of the
resultant savings were channeled into morale boosting programs and teamwork
posters.
The next year the Japanese won by two miles.
Humiliated, the American management laid-o ff one rower , halted
development of a new canoe, sold all t! he paddle as, and canceled all
capital investments for new equipment. The money saved was distributed to
the Senior Executives as bonuses.
The next year, try as he might, the lone designated rower was unable to
even finish the race (having no paddles,) so he was laid off for
unacceptable performance, all canoe equipment was sold and the next year's
racing team was out-sourced to India.
Sadly, the End.
Here's something else to think about: Ford has spent the last thirty years
moving all its factories out of the US , claiming they can't make money
paying American wages.
TOYOTA has spent the last thirty years building more than a dozen plants
inside the US The last quarter's results:
TOYOTA makes 4 billion in profits while Ford racked up 9 billion in losses.
Ford folks are still scratching their heads, and collecting bonuses...
IF THIS WEREN'T SO TRUE IT MIGHT BE FUNNY
It's a Girl's World
From My InBox:
If he is late for class, he told,
"Time and Tide wait for none".
If she is late, then the bus was late.
If a girl is dressed as a boy, she is modern, says the world.
But if a boy is dressed as a girl, " Has he escaped from the Zoo?"
If a boy talks with a girl, "I think he is trying for her"
But if a girl talks with a boy, then she is trying to be friendly.
When a girl cries, the world is convinced of her
But when a boy cries, "Come on man! Don't be a girl".
If a girl meets with an accident, then it's the mistake of others.
And if a boy meets with an accident, "I think you should learn to drive".
If a boy sits in front of a city bus, he is mannerless and cultureless brute.
But if a girl sits in the back seat, "Try to respect ladies, man!".
If a boy gets a big rank in an entrance exam, "You've to work hard".
But if a girl gets a big rank,... Still got 33! Reservation.
If there are girls in a class, the professor gives an interesting lecture,
And if there are no girls, he says,there is no class today.
If a girl does not answer during a viva, then atleast 'smile' says the examiner.
But when a boy does not answer," better luck next time"
If he is late for class, he told,
"Time and Tide wait for none".
If she is late, then the bus was late.
If a girl is dressed as a boy, she is modern, says the world.
But if a boy is dressed as a girl, " Has he escaped from the Zoo?"
If a boy talks with a girl, "I think he is trying for her"
But if a girl talks with a boy, then she is trying to be friendly.
When a girl cries, the world is convinced of her
But when a boy cries, "Come on man! Don't be a girl".
If a girl meets with an accident, then it's the mistake of others.
And if a boy meets with an accident, "I think you should learn to drive".
If a boy sits in front of a city bus, he is mannerless and cultureless brute.
But if a girl sits in the back seat, "Try to respect ladies, man!".
If a boy gets a big rank in an entrance exam, "You've to work hard".
But if a girl gets a big rank,... Still got 33! Reservation.
If there are girls in a class, the professor gives an interesting lecture,
And if there are no girls, he says,there is no class today.
If a girl does not answer during a viva, then atleast 'smile' says the examiner.
But when a boy does not answer," better luck next time"
Drivers, have you been blacklisted?
Could you have received Traffic Summons Charges that you have not paid? Run an online check for JPJ and PDRM summonses issued to you that you may not be aware of.
JPJ also keep a blacklist of offenders / vehicles with summonses that have not been settled after a specified period. Find out if you are on that list by clicking on the icons for "PDRM" or "JPJ" and enter your identification card number and car registration number to do a search.
If any of the summonses against you are valid, you can make payment online. Note that you need only pay 50% of the fine, if you settle your summonses within 1 month of issuance.
I suggest that you subscribe for PDRM Summons Alert to have summonses emailed to you to take advantage of this offer. That way you will be alerted immediately if you have been summoned for offenses that you did not commit or in a vehicle you do not own.
===============================================================================
From My InBox:
U better check, I click on it and just found out someone with my same IC no, diff name ????
Now I have to go lodge a police report, just in case..
http://jpj.myeg.com.my/PDRM/summons_enq_eng_New.jsp
JPJ also keep a blacklist of offenders / vehicles with summonses that have not been settled after a specified period. Find out if you are on that list by clicking on the icons for "PDRM" or "JPJ" and enter your identification card number and car registration number to do a search.
If any of the summonses against you are valid, you can make payment online. Note that you need only pay 50% of the fine, if you settle your summonses within 1 month of issuance.
I suggest that you subscribe for PDRM Summons Alert to have summonses emailed to you to take advantage of this offer. That way you will be alerted immediately if you have been summoned for offenses that you did not commit or in a vehicle you do not own.
===============================================================================
From My InBox:
U better check, I click on it and just found out someone with my same IC no, diff name ????
Now I have to go lodge a police report, just in case..
http://jpj.myeg.com.my/PDRM/summons_enq_eng_New.jsp
Sunday, November 23, 2008
Making full use of waiting time
Last night, my family went out for dinner. What would you do while waiting for the dishes to arrive? I had my family creatively engaged in creating slogans for Threadless.
Since the tees for sales there are also meant for kids, we try to create ones
that parents would appreciate enough to buy for their kids to wear. Some of them are food and dinning utensils inspired.
"Breakfast epic. The fork and spoon flew off on the saucer."
http://www.typetees.com/score/902701/Breakfast_epic_The_fork_and_spoon_flew_off_on_the_saucer
"I am hungry. My chopsticks don't click."
http://www.typetees.com/score/902714/I_am_hungry_My_chopsticks_don_t_click
""Ping!" Ideas dissipate. The light bulb's broken." (Inspired by sounds of waiters serving food)
http://www.typetees.com/score/902774/Ping_Ideas_dissipate_The_light_bulb_s_broken
"If oil and water don't mix, are they fighting in my body?"
http://www.typetees.com/score/902718/If_oil_and_water_don_t_mix_are_they_fighting_in_my_body
"Don't leave the sourdough high and dry." (That's actually my husband's complain for drinking up the soup in the sourdough)
http://www.typetees.com/score/902757/Don_t_leave_the_sourdough_high_and_dry
"Little Miss Muppet splattered curds and whey killed big spider."
http://www.typetees.com/score/902789/Little_Miss_Muppet_splattered_curds_and_whey_killed_big_spider
"Pillow fight notice. Time: Tonight Venue: Bedroom."
http://www.typetees.com/score/902707/Pillow_fight_notice_Time_Tonight_Venue_Bedroom
"My tee size aged me."
http://www.typetees.com/score/902711/My_tee_size_aged_me
"Don't blink. I am trying to wink at you."
http://www.typetees.com/score/902720/Don_t_blink_I_am_trying_to_wink_at_you
"I am into brick-à-brat."
http://www.typetees.com/score/902724/I_am_into_brick_brat
"I am into you till I am into you."
http://www.typetees.com/score/902725/I_am_into_you_till_I_am_into_you
"(Not) Been There Done That (Virtually)."
http://www.typetees.com/score/902731/Not_Been_There_Done_That_Virtually
"Doctors code: Don't keep me pensive. It's expensive."
http://www.typetees.com/score/902741/Doctors_code_Don_t_keep_me_pensive_It_s_expensive
"Stay clear. It takes two to quarrel."
http://www.typetees.com/score/902743/Stay_clear_It_takes_two_to_quarrel
"Don't wear that. It's defensive."
http://www.typetees.com/score/902747/Don_t_wear_that_It_s_defensive
"My tee is anatomically correct."
http://www.typetees.com/score/902751/My_tee_is_anatomically_correct
"I am older/younger than my tee size. (Delete where applicable)"
http://www.typetees.com/score/902807/I_am_older_younger_than_my_tee_size_Delete_where_applicable
"Jack and Jill climb up the hill singing, "Rain, rain go away...""
http://www.typetees.com/score/902795/Jack_and_Jill_climb_up_the_hill_singing_Rain_rain_go_away
You can submit your slogans at any links to my slogans. Be kind enough to
score me for giving you this lead to make USD500. Thank you.
Since the tees for sales there are also meant for kids, we try to create ones
that parents would appreciate enough to buy for their kids to wear. Some of them are food and dinning utensils inspired.
"Breakfast epic. The fork and spoon flew off on the saucer."
http://www.typetees.com/score/902701/Breakfast_epic_The_fork_and_spoon_flew_off_on_the_saucer
"I am hungry. My chopsticks don't click."
http://www.typetees.com/score/902714/I_am_hungry_My_chopsticks_don_t_click
""Ping!" Ideas dissipate. The light bulb's broken." (Inspired by sounds of waiters serving food)
http://www.typetees.com/score/902774/Ping_Ideas_dissipate_The_light_bulb_s_broken
"If oil and water don't mix, are they fighting in my body?"
http://www.typetees.com/score/902718/If_oil_and_water_don_t_mix_are_they_fighting_in_my_body
"Don't leave the sourdough high and dry." (That's actually my husband's complain for drinking up the soup in the sourdough)
http://www.typetees.com/score/902757/Don_t_leave_the_sourdough_high_and_dry
"Little Miss Muppet splattered curds and whey killed big spider."
http://www.typetees.com/score/902789/Little_Miss_Muppet_splattered_curds_and_whey_killed_big_spider
"Pillow fight notice. Time: Tonight Venue: Bedroom."
http://www.typetees.com/score/902707/Pillow_fight_notice_Time_Tonight_Venue_Bedroom
"My tee size aged me."
http://www.typetees.com/score/902711/My_tee_size_aged_me
"Don't blink. I am trying to wink at you."
http://www.typetees.com/score/902720/Don_t_blink_I_am_trying_to_wink_at_you
"I am into brick-à-brat."
http://www.typetees.com/score/902724/I_am_into_brick_brat
"I am into you till I am into you."
http://www.typetees.com/score/902725/I_am_into_you_till_I_am_into_you
"(Not) Been There Done That (Virtually)."
http://www.typetees.com/score/902731/Not_Been_There_Done_That_Virtually
"Doctors code: Don't keep me pensive. It's expensive."
http://www.typetees.com/score/902741/Doctors_code_Don_t_keep_me_pensive_It_s_expensive
"Stay clear. It takes two to quarrel."
http://www.typetees.com/score/902743/Stay_clear_It_takes_two_to_quarrel
"Don't wear that. It's defensive."
http://www.typetees.com/score/902747/Don_t_wear_that_It_s_defensive
"My tee is anatomically correct."
http://www.typetees.com/score/902751/My_tee_is_anatomically_correct
"I am older/younger than my tee size. (Delete where applicable)"
http://www.typetees.com/score/902807/I_am_older_younger_than_my_tee_size_Delete_where_applicable
"Jack and Jill climb up the hill singing, "Rain, rain go away...""
http://www.typetees.com/score/902795/Jack_and_Jill_climb_up_the_hill_singing_Rain_rain_go_away
You can submit your slogans at any links to my slogans. Be kind enough to
score me for giving you this lead to make USD500. Thank you.
Saturday, November 22, 2008
Male or Female?
From My InBox:
You might not have known this, but a lot of non -living objects are actually either male or female. Here are some examples:
FREEZER BAGS: They are male, because they hold everything in, but you can see right through them.
PHOTOCOPIERS: These are female, because once turned off; it takes a while to warm them up again.
They are an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed, but can also wreak havoc if you push the wrong Buttons.
TIRES: Tires are male, because they go bald easily and are often over inflated
HOT AIR BALLOONS: Also a male object, because to get them to go anywhere, you have to light a fire under their butt.
SPONGES: These are female, because they are soft, squeezable and retain water.
WEB PAGES:
Female, because they're constantly being looked at and frequently getting hit on.
TRAINS: Definitely male, because they always use the same old lines for picking up people.
EGG TIMERS: Egg timers are female because, over time, all the weight shifts to the bottom.
HAMMERS: Male, because in the last 5000 years, they've hardly changed at all, and are occasionally handy to have around.
THE REMOTE CONTROL: Female. Ha! You probably thought it would be male, but consider this: It easily gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know which buttons to push, he just keeps trying
You might not have known this, but a lot of non -living objects are actually either male or female. Here are some examples:
FREEZER BAGS: They are male, because they hold everything in, but you can see right through them.
PHOTOCOPIERS: These are female, because once turned off; it takes a while to warm them up again.
They are an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed, but can also wreak havoc if you push the wrong Buttons.
TIRES: Tires are male, because they go bald easily and are often over inflated
HOT AIR BALLOONS: Also a male object, because to get them to go anywhere, you have to light a fire under their butt.
SPONGES: These are female, because they are soft, squeezable and retain water.
WEB PAGES:
Female, because they're constantly being looked at and frequently getting hit on.
TRAINS: Definitely male, because they always use the same old lines for picking up people.
EGG TIMERS: Egg timers are female because, over time, all the weight shifts to the bottom.
HAMMERS: Male, because in the last 5000 years, they've hardly changed at all, and are occasionally handy to have around.
THE REMOTE CONTROL: Female. Ha! You probably thought it would be male, but consider this: It easily gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know which buttons to push, he just keeps trying
Think +++++++ ve!!!
This is Awesome Father : "I want you to marry a girl of my choice"
Son : "I will choose my own bride!"
Father : "But the girl is Bill Gates's daughter."
Son : "Well, in that case...ok"
Next - Father approaches Bill Gates.
Father : "I have a husband for your daughter."
Bill Gates : "But my daughter is too young to marry!"
Father : "But this young man is a vice-president of the World Bank."
Bill Gates : "Ah, in that case...ok"
Finally Father goes to see the president of the World Bank.
Father : "I have a young man to be recommended as a vice-president."
President : "But I already have more vice- presidents than I need!"
Father : "But this young man is Bill Gates's son-in-law."
President : "Ah, in that case...ok"
This is how business is done!!
Moral: Even If you have nothing,You can get Anything. But your attitude should be positive
Think +++++++ve
Son : "I will choose my own bride!"
Father : "But the girl is Bill Gates's daughter."
Son : "Well, in that case...ok"
Next - Father approaches Bill Gates.
Father : "I have a husband for your daughter."
Bill Gates : "But my daughter is too young to marry!"
Father : "But this young man is a vice-president of the World Bank."
Bill Gates : "Ah, in that case...ok"
Finally Father goes to see the president of the World Bank.
Father : "I have a young man to be recommended as a vice-president."
President : "But I already have more vice- presidents than I need!"
Father : "But this young man is Bill Gates's son-in-law."
President : "Ah, in that case...ok"
This is how business is done!!
Moral: Even If you have nothing,You can get Anything. But your attitude should be positive
Think +++++++ve
*FLOWERS*_*
I love this photographer of nature. I can't decide if I should appreciate God or the photographer. It inspired me to submit this slogan to Threadless
"Great nature art. Praise the lord or artist?"
Like that? Click on the following link to claim
"I'd wear it".
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From My InBox:
"Great nature art. Praise the lord or artist?"
Like that? Click on the following link to claim
"I'd wear it".
===============================================================================
From My InBox:
Domestic Violence
Bauer shared on SlideShare the effects of domestic violence on Carolyn Thomas, who was once a track star.
Friday, November 21, 2008
Love cats?
If you love cats, you will love watching animated "Have a Nice Day" card by Jacquie Lawson. My daughter kept replaying it.
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From My InBox:
http://www.jacquielawson.com/viewcard.asp?code=1560479383964&source=jl999
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From My InBox:
http://www.jacquielawson.com/viewcard.asp?code=1560479383964&source=jl999
Latest Christmas carol
From My InBox:
(sung to the tune of 'Santa Claus is coming to town')
Latest Christmas carol for 2008, haha !!!
You'd better watch out
You'd better not cry
You'd better keep cash
I'm telling you why:
Recession is coming to town.
It's hitting you once,
It's hitting you twice
It doesn't care if you've been careful and wise
Recession is coming to town
It's worthless if you've got shares
It's worthless if you've got bonds
It's safe when you've got cash in hand
So keep cash for goodness sake, HEY
You'd better watch out
You'd better not cry
You'd better keep cash
I'm telling you why:
Recession is coming to town!
Finance products are confusing
Finance products are so vague
The banks make you bear the cost of risk
So keep out for goodness sake, OH
You'd better watch out
You'd better not cry
You'd better keep cash
I'm telling you why:
Recession is coming to town.
Cheers,
The thought manifests as the word;
The word manifests as the deed;
The deed develops into habit;
And habit hardens into character;
So watch the thought and its ways with care;
And let it spring from love,
Born out of concern for all beings?
As the shadow follows the body,
As we think, so we become.
(sung to the tune of 'Santa Claus is coming to town')
Latest Christmas carol for 2008, haha !!!
You'd better watch out
You'd better not cry
You'd better keep cash
I'm telling you why:
Recession is coming to town.
It's hitting you once,
It's hitting you twice
It doesn't care if you've been careful and wise
Recession is coming to town
It's worthless if you've got shares
It's worthless if you've got bonds
It's safe when you've got cash in hand
So keep cash for goodness sake, HEY
You'd better watch out
You'd better not cry
You'd better keep cash
I'm telling you why:
Recession is coming to town!
Finance products are confusing
Finance products are so vague
The banks make you bear the cost of risk
So keep out for goodness sake, OH
You'd better watch out
You'd better not cry
You'd better keep cash
I'm telling you why:
Recession is coming to town.
Cheers,
The thought manifests as the word;
The word manifests as the deed;
The deed develops into habit;
And habit hardens into character;
So watch the thought and its ways with care;
And let it spring from love,
Born out of concern for all beings?
As the shadow follows the body,
As we think, so we become.
"BANANAS for Health" found on Scribd
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Don't waste the humour.
What have I been busy lately? Writing slogans. Here are some that I have created for you to score. The more people claimed "I'd wear it", the higher the chances of it (preferably all of them) getting printed.
Have not been there but done that virtually.
http://www.typetees.com/score/899114/Have_not_been_there_but_done_that_virtually
You can't make me see red. Am color blind.
http://www.typetees.com/score/899240/You_can_t_make_me_see_red_Am_color_blind
I am not green. I am a trained gardener.
http://www.typetees.com/score/899234/I_am_not_green_I_am_a_trained_gardener
Only artists can survive on non(?)sense.
http://www.typetees.com/score/899135/Only_artists_can_survive_on_non_sense
If you do not do anything about it, boy, do I have a message for you.
No, I don't have a hand in it. I have two!
http://www.typetees.com/score/899150/No_I_don_t_have_a_hand_in_it_I_have_two
Why?
I have a point. Hear me or I'll poke you.
http://www.typetees.com/score/899203/I_have_a_point_Hear_me_or_I_ll_poke_you
Got the message? Now do your own so that I can score you. There is no point(=USD500) keeping all that humour to yourself.
Have not been there but done that virtually.
http://www.typetees.com/score/899114/Have_not_been_there_but_done_that_virtually
You can't make me see red. Am color blind.
http://www.typetees.com/score/899240/You_can_t_make_me_see_red_Am_color_blind
I am not green. I am a trained gardener.
http://www.typetees.com/score/899234/I_am_not_green_I_am_a_trained_gardener
Only artists can survive on non(?)sense.
http://www.typetees.com/score/899135/Only_artists_can_survive_on_non_sense
If you do not do anything about it, boy, do I have a message for you.
No, I don't have a hand in it. I have two!
http://www.typetees.com/score/899150/No_I_don_t_have_a_hand_in_it_I_have_two
Why?
I have a point. Hear me or I'll poke you.
http://www.typetees.com/score/899203/I_have_a_point_Hear_me_or_I_ll_poke_you
Got the message? Now do your own so that I can score you. There is no point(=USD500) keeping all that humour to yourself.
Public Service
...so said the person with the Vineyard and Winery?
=============================================================================
From My InBox:
> To my friends who enjoy a glass of beer... and those who don't.
>>
>> As Ben Franklin said: "In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is
>> freedom, in water there is bacteria."
>>
>> In a number of carefully controlled trials, scientists have
>> demonstrated
>> that if we drink 1 liter of water each day, at the end of the year
>> we would have absorbed more than 1 kilo of Escherichia coli, (E. coli)
> -
>> bacteria found in feces. In other words, we are consuming 1 kilo of
> poop.
>>
>> However, we do NOT run that risk when drinking wine & beer (or
>> tequila, rum, whiskey or other liquor) because alcohol has to go
> through a
>> purification process of boiling, filtering and/or fermenting.
>>
>> Remember: Water = Poop. Wine = Health
>>
>> Therefore, it's better to drink wine and talk stupid, than to drink
>> water
>> and be full of shit.
>>
>> There is no need to thank me for this valuable information: I'm
>> doing it as a public service.
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From My InBox:
> To my friends who enjoy a glass of beer... and those who don't.
>>
>> As Ben Franklin said: "In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is
>> freedom, in water there is bacteria."
>>
>> In a number of carefully controlled trials, scientists have
>> demonstrated
>> that if we drink 1 liter of water each day, at the end of the year
>> we would have absorbed more than 1 kilo of Escherichia coli, (E. coli)
> -
>> bacteria found in feces. In other words, we are consuming 1 kilo of
> poop.
>>
>> However, we do NOT run that risk when drinking wine & beer (or
>> tequila, rum, whiskey or other liquor) because alcohol has to go
> through a
>> purification process of boiling, filtering and/or fermenting.
>>
>> Remember: Water = Poop. Wine = Health
>>
>> Therefore, it's better to drink wine and talk stupid, than to drink
>> water
>> and be full of shit.
>>
>> There is no need to thank me for this valuable information: I'm
>> doing it as a public service.
With scavenger can write.
Would you believe it if I tell you that you can be a good writer by just remembering the word "scavenger"? Don't believe me? Check it out for yourself.
Who would have thought the word 'Scavenger' could do the trick so well in triggering one to remember all of the points for a good story.
Great job, Wynnie Kwok and thanks for sharing that on SlideShare.
Who would have thought the word 'Scavenger' could do the trick so well in triggering one to remember all of the points for a good story.
Great job, Wynnie Kwok and thanks for sharing that on SlideShare.
Enjoy while you can.......
From My InBox:
Another year has passed
And we're all a little older.
Last summer felt hotter,
And winter seems much colder.
I rack my brain for happy thoughts
To put down on my pad.
But lots of things that come to mind
Just make me kind of sad.
There was a time not long ago
When life was quite a blast.
Now I fully understand
About "Living in the Past".
We used to go to friends' homes,
Football games and lunches..
Now we go to therapy, to hospitals,
And after-funeral brunches.
We used to have hangovers,
From parties that were gay.
Now we suffer body aches
And sleep the night away.
We used to go out dining,
And couldn't get our fill.
Now we ask for doggie bags,
Come home and take a pill.
We used to often travel
To places near and far.
Now we get backaches
From riding in the car.
We used to go out shopping
For new clothing at the Mall.
But, now we never bother...
All the sizes are too small.
That, my friend is how life is.
And now my tale is told.
So, enjoy each day and live it up...
Before you're too darn old!!
So enjoy it while you can...
Live, Laugh and Love!
Another year has passed
And we're all a little older.
Last summer felt hotter,
And winter seems much colder.
I rack my brain for happy thoughts
To put down on my pad.
But lots of things that come to mind
Just make me kind of sad.
There was a time not long ago
When life was quite a blast.
Now I fully understand
About "Living in the Past".
We used to go to friends' homes,
Football games and lunches..
Now we go to therapy, to hospitals,
And after-funeral brunches.
We used to have hangovers,
From parties that were gay.
Now we suffer body aches
And sleep the night away.
We used to go out dining,
And couldn't get our fill.
Now we ask for doggie bags,
Come home and take a pill.
We used to often travel
To places near and far.
Now we get backaches
From riding in the car.
We used to go out shopping
For new clothing at the Mall.
But, now we never bother...
All the sizes are too small.
That, my friend is how life is.
And now my tale is told.
So, enjoy each day and live it up...
Before you're too darn old!!
So enjoy it while you can...
Live, Laugh and Love!
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Free medical advise weekly
Dr. Ben Kim dispenses useful weekly newsletter on health issues. For an example of the kind of articles he writes, click on links to read for yourself as "Reproduction strictly prohibited".
=================================================================================
The simplest Ingredients for preventing a Sore Throat from Progressing to a Cold
* Salt
* Warm Water
How to Prevent a Sore Throat from Progressing to a Cold
By Dr. Ben Kim on March 09, 2008
Natural Health Solutions
=================================================================================
The simplest Ingredients for preventing a Sore Throat from Progressing to a Cold
* Salt
* Warm Water
How to Prevent a Sore Throat from Progressing to a Cold
By Dr. Ben Kim on March 09, 2008
Natural Health Solutions
Learn from Nick Vujicic
Learn from Nick Vujicic never to compare your sufferings.
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Julian Beever, the chalk artist
You definitely have not seen the work of Julian Beever if you wonder what is so great about drawing with chalks. Check out this work in this video.
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Adding stuff to your blog
See what I have discovered from Claudia at SlideShare today. A Yahoo group for Blogging For Beginners
I just became its member though I am not a beginner in blogging. I rather like the concept of 'learning with computers' and appreciate the useful links that are posted there.
Here is the kind of things you can pick up there.
I just became its member though I am not a beginner in blogging. I rather like the concept of 'learning with computers' and appreciate the useful links that are posted there.
Here is the kind of things you can pick up there.
Old men may walk slow BUT think F A S T
From My InBox:
In Queensland l had owned a large property for several years.
I had a dam in one of the lower paddocks where I had planted
mango and avocado trees. The dam had been fixed up for
swimming when it was built and I also had some picnic tables
placed there in the shade of the fruit trees.
One evening I decided to go down to the dam to look it over,
as I hadn't been there for a while. I grabbed a ten litre bucket
to bring back some fruit. As I neared the dam, I heard voices
shouting and laughing with glee. As I came closer I saw it was a
bunch of young women skinny-dipping in my dam. I made the
women aware of my presence and they all went to the deep end.
One of the women shouted to me,
'We're not coming out until you leave!' I frowned, 'I didn't come
down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out
of the dam naked.'
Holding the bucket up , 'I'm here to feed the crocodile.'
Moral: Old men may walk slow, but they can still think fast.
In Queensland l had owned a large property for several years.
I had a dam in one of the lower paddocks where I had planted
mango and avocado trees. The dam had been fixed up for
swimming when it was built and I also had some picnic tables
placed there in the shade of the fruit trees.
One evening I decided to go down to the dam to look it over,
as I hadn't been there for a while. I grabbed a ten litre bucket
to bring back some fruit. As I neared the dam, I heard voices
shouting and laughing with glee. As I came closer I saw it was a
bunch of young women skinny-dipping in my dam. I made the
women aware of my presence and they all went to the deep end.
One of the women shouted to me,
'We're not coming out until you leave!' I frowned, 'I didn't come
down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out
of the dam naked.'
Holding the bucket up , 'I'm here to feed the crocodile.'
Moral: Old men may walk slow, but they can still think fast.
Monday, November 17, 2008
X rated for kids
If you are expecting hard core here, then you are obviously not a regular here. Sorry to disappoint you. But you have been warned, this is super X rated for kids, especially if you have a notebook sitting at home.
I am taking a risk posting what Webtel125 shared on SlideShare. My kids may chance upon it.
I am taking a risk posting what Webtel125 shared on SlideShare. My kids may chance upon it.
Have mouse can read.
Do you still remember the fairy tales you read as a kid? Do you want to share them with your children? You don't have to buy them. Just click your mouse on the following link to:
Project Gutenberg
The only problem I see is that you have a hard time deciding what to share as there is a list of 25,000 free books to choose from. Here is an example of one, "The Fairy Book", by Dinah Maria Mulock discovered posted by Diana on SlideShare.
Project Gutenberg
The only problem I see is that you have a hard time deciding what to share as there is a list of 25,000 free books to choose from. Here is an example of one, "The Fairy Book", by Dinah Maria Mulock discovered posted by Diana on SlideShare.
The Fairy Book By Dinah Maria Mulock
View SlideShare presentation or Upload your own.
How to handle a Rude Customer
From My InBox:
> An award should go to the Virgin Airlines desk attendant in
> Sydney some
> months ago for being smart and funny, while making her
> point, when
> confronted with a passenger who probably deserved to fly as
> cargo.
>
> A crowded Virgin flight was cancelled after Virgin's
> 767s had been
> withdrawn from service. A single attendant was rebooking a
> long line of
> inconvenienced travellers. Suddenly an angry passenger
> pushed his way to
> the desk. He slapped his ticket down on the counter and
> said, 'I
HAVE to
> be on this flight and it HAS to be FIRST CLASS'.
>
> The attendant replied, 'I'm sorry, sir. I'll be
> happy to try to help
> you, but I've got to help these people first, and
> I'm sure we'll be able
> to work something out.'
>
> The passenger was unimpressed. He asked loudly, so that the
> passengers
> behind him could hear, 'DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHO I
> AM?'
>
> Without hesitating, the attendant smiled and grabbed her
> public address
> microphone: 'May I have your attention please, may I
> have your attention
> please,' she began - her voice heard clearly throughout
> the terminal.
>
> 'We have a passenger here at Desk 14 WHO DOES NOT KNOW
> WHO HE IS. If
> anyone can help him find his identity, please come to Desk
> 14.'
>
> With the folks behind him in line laughing
hysterically,
> the man glared
> at the Virgin attendant, gritted his teeth and said,
> 'F... You!'
>
> Without flinching, she smiled and said, (I love this bit)
>
> 'I'm sorry, sir, but you'll have to get in line
> for that too.'
> An award should go to the Virgin Airlines desk attendant in
> Sydney some
> months ago for being smart and funny, while making her
> point, when
> confronted with a passenger who probably deserved to fly as
> cargo.
>
> A crowded Virgin flight was cancelled after Virgin's
> 767s had been
> withdrawn from service. A single attendant was rebooking a
> long line of
> inconvenienced travellers. Suddenly an angry passenger
> pushed his way to
> the desk. He slapped his ticket down on the counter and
> said, 'I
HAVE to
> be on this flight and it HAS to be FIRST CLASS'.
>
> The attendant replied, 'I'm sorry, sir. I'll be
> happy to try to help
> you, but I've got to help these people first, and
> I'm sure we'll be able
> to work something out.'
>
> The passenger was unimpressed. He asked loudly, so that the
> passengers
> behind him could hear, 'DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHO I
> AM?'
>
> Without hesitating, the attendant smiled and grabbed her
> public address
> microphone: 'May I have your attention please, may I
> have your attention
> please,' she began - her voice heard clearly throughout
> the terminal.
>
> 'We have a passenger here at Desk 14 WHO DOES NOT KNOW
> WHO HE IS. If
> anyone can help him find his identity, please come to Desk
> 14.'
>
> With the folks behind him in line laughing
hysterically,
> the man glared
> at the Virgin attendant, gritted his teeth and said,
> 'F... You!'
>
> Without flinching, she smiled and said, (I love this bit)
>
> 'I'm sorry, sir, but you'll have to get in line
> for that too.'
Want to earn USD500 easy?
Want to earn USD500 easy? Start writing slogans for Threadless. Here is an example of a winner and...
...don't forget the person who is giving you this lead, yours truly. Click on the following links to my slogans and click again to claim, "I'd wear it":
"Freedom is scary without guidance."
"Can't find one when you need one."
"I peep but did not look."
"One can be as backward as forward does."
"Freedom is hard work without a leading hand."
"Let's vote us out of poverty."
Good luck (to me too).
...don't forget the person who is giving you this lead, yours truly. Click on the following links to my slogans and click again to claim, "I'd wear it":
"Freedom is scary without guidance."
"Can't find one when you need one."
"I peep but did not look."
"One can be as backward as forward does."
"Freedom is hard work without a leading hand."
"Let's vote us out of poverty."
Good luck (to me too).
Christian the Lion
Get your hanky ready to watch Christian, the lion. Then see if you would like to support Virginia McKenna's, Born Free Foundation Founder and Trustee, call to adopt a lion.
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Sunday, November 16, 2008
The ultimate source of free information.
The ultimate source of free information. That is what search engine Beaucoup claimed to be. I discovered it by chance when I was checking out positive quotes sites.
They also introduce new writers & artists "who function at a level above the workaday, who often give away their 'products', and who do it from the inside out".
So, the next time I am looking out for free stuff, I will try Beaucoup.
They also introduce new writers & artists "who function at a level above the workaday, who often give away their 'products', and who do it from the inside out".
So, the next time I am looking out for free stuff, I will try Beaucoup.
Need a new tittle for your job?
Instead of being called a housewife, I would like to be known as the Home Minister of 24/7 Portfolio. Read the tittles created below and be inspired to create your own.
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From My Inbox:
The labour department is to introduce 'new titles' to remove inferiority complex, so that workers could be proud and comfortable with their professional Titles.
These are:
1. Garden Boy - Landscape Executive and Animal Nutritionist
2. House Maid - Domestic Operations Specialist
3. Typist - Printed Document Handler
4. Messenger - Regional Business Communications Conveyer
5. Window Cleaner - Transparent Wall Technician
6. Temporary Teacher - Associate Tutor
7. Tea Boy - Refreshments Overseer
8. Garbage Collector - Public Sanitation Technician
9. Watchman - Area Theft Prevention and Surveillance Officer
10. Thief - Wealth Redistribution Officer
11. Driver - Automobile Propulsion Specialist
12. Receptionist - Office Access Control Specialist
13. Cook - Food Technician and Preparation Officer
LIFE IS A JOURNEY
In the end, each of us will be judged by our standard of life, not by our standard of living; by our measure of giving, not by our measure of wealth; by our simple goodness, not by our seeming greatness.
==================================================================================
From My Inbox:
The labour department is to introduce 'new titles' to remove inferiority complex, so that workers could be proud and comfortable with their professional Titles.
These are:
1. Garden Boy - Landscape Executive and Animal Nutritionist
2. House Maid - Domestic Operations Specialist
3. Typist - Printed Document Handler
4. Messenger - Regional Business Communications Conveyer
5. Window Cleaner - Transparent Wall Technician
6. Temporary Teacher - Associate Tutor
7. Tea Boy - Refreshments Overseer
8. Garbage Collector - Public Sanitation Technician
9. Watchman - Area Theft Prevention and Surveillance Officer
10. Thief - Wealth Redistribution Officer
11. Driver - Automobile Propulsion Specialist
12. Receptionist - Office Access Control Specialist
13. Cook - Food Technician and Preparation Officer
LIFE IS A JOURNEY
In the end, each of us will be judged by our standard of life, not by our standard of living; by our measure of giving, not by our measure of wealth; by our simple goodness, not by our seeming greatness.
People comes into your life for a REASON
From MyInBox:
People come into your life
for a reason, a season or a lifetime.
When you know which one it is,
you will know what to do for that person.
When someone is in your life for a REASON,
it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.
They have come to assist you through a difficulty,
to provide you with guidance and support,
to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.
They may seem like a Godsend and they are.
They are there for the reason you need them to be.
Then, without any wrong doing on your part
or at an inconvenient time,
this person will say or do something
to bring the relationship to an end.
Sometimes they die.
Sometimes they walk away.
Sometimes they act up
and force you to take a stand.
What we must realize is
that our need has been met,
our desire fulfilled, their work is done.
The prayer you sent up
has been answered and now
it is time to move on.
People come into your life for a REASON
Some people come into your life
for a SEASON,
because your turn has come
to share, grow or learn.
They bring you an experience of peace
or make you laugh.
They may teach you
something you have never done.
They usually give you
an unbelievable amount of joy.
Believe it, it is real.
But only for a season!!
People come into your life for a REASON
LIFETIME relationships
teach you lifetime lessons,
things you must build upon
in order to have
a solid emotional foundation.
Your job is to accept the lesson,
love the person
and put what you have learned
to use in all other relationships
and areas of your life.
It is said that love is blind
but friendship is clairvoyant.
People come into your life
for a reason, a season or a lifetime.
When you know which one it is,
you will know what to do for that person.
When someone is in your life for a REASON,
it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.
They have come to assist you through a difficulty,
to provide you with guidance and support,
to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.
They may seem like a Godsend and they are.
They are there for the reason you need them to be.
Then, without any wrong doing on your part
or at an inconvenient time,
this person will say or do something
to bring the relationship to an end.
Sometimes they die.
Sometimes they walk away.
Sometimes they act up
and force you to take a stand.
What we must realize is
that our need has been met,
our desire fulfilled, their work is done.
The prayer you sent up
has been answered and now
it is time to move on.
People come into your life for a REASON
Some people come into your life
for a SEASON,
because your turn has come
to share, grow or learn.
They bring you an experience of peace
or make you laugh.
They may teach you
something you have never done.
They usually give you
an unbelievable amount of joy.
Believe it, it is real.
But only for a season!!
People come into your life for a REASON
LIFETIME relationships
teach you lifetime lessons,
things you must build upon
in order to have
a solid emotional foundation.
Your job is to accept the lesson,
love the person
and put what you have learned
to use in all other relationships
and areas of your life.
It is said that love is blind
but friendship is clairvoyant.
Best Out of Office Automatic e-mail Replies
From My InBox:
1. I am currently out of the office at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position.
Please be prepared for my mood.
2. You are receiving this automatic notification, because I am out of the office.
If I was in, chances are you wouldn't have received anything at all.
3. Sorry to have missed you, but I'm at the doctor's having my brain and heart removed so I can be promoted to our management team.
4. I will be unable to delete all the emails you send me until I return from vacation.
Please be patient, and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.
5. Thank you for your email.
Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the first 10 words and $1.99 for each
additional word in your message.
6. The email server is unable to verify your server connection.
Your message has not been delivered.
Please restart your computer and try sending again.
(The beauty of this is that when you return, you can see who did this over and over and over....)
7. Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system.
You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately
19 weeks.
8. Hi, I'm thinking about what you've just sent me.
Please wait by your PC for my response.
9. I've run away to join a different circus.
10. I will be out of the office for the next two weeks for medical reasons.
When I return, please refer to me as 'Lucille' instead of Steve.
1. I am currently out of the office at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position.
Please be prepared for my mood.
2. You are receiving this automatic notification, because I am out of the office.
If I was in, chances are you wouldn't have received anything at all.
3. Sorry to have missed you, but I'm at the doctor's having my brain and heart removed so I can be promoted to our management team.
4. I will be unable to delete all the emails you send me until I return from vacation.
Please be patient, and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.
5. Thank you for your email.
Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the first 10 words and $1.99 for each
additional word in your message.
6. The email server is unable to verify your server connection.
Your message has not been delivered.
Please restart your computer and try sending again.
(The beauty of this is that when you return, you can see who did this over and over and over....)
7. Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system.
You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately
19 weeks.
8. Hi, I'm thinking about what you've just sent me.
Please wait by your PC for my response.
9. I've run away to join a different circus.
10. I will be out of the office for the next two weeks for medical reasons.
When I return, please refer to me as 'Lucille' instead of Steve.
What's your scope?
Brain Exercise
Try this exercise to get your brain ready for work this week.
Greekhero shared this on SlideShare.
Greekhero shared this on SlideShare.
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