What is being intelligent to you? I think it is when you are able to joke about religion and not be murdered for blasphemy. Here is George Carlin showing you the trick.
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From My InBox:
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Do you agree that religion is bullshit? I think that a belief is not a bullshit till it is practiced according to human perception.
Friday, July 31, 2009
Swimming With Dolphins As Therapy?
Received a video "Swimming With Dolphins As Therapy?" and found this video. It is about Kuhnert, a single mom from Key Biscayne whose son emerged from a 16-month coma after swimming with a dolphin. She then helped to create the Dolphin Therapy program in Curacao.
Things happened for a reason.
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From My InBox:
Things happened for a reason.
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From My InBox:
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Lawyer story
THIS IS THE BEST LAWYER STORY OF THE YEAR, DECADE AND PROBABLY THE CENTURY.
A Charlotte, NC lawyer purchased a box of very rare and expensive cigars, then insured them against fire, among other things.
Within a month, having smoked his entire stockpile of these great cigars and without yet having made even his first premium payment on the policy, the lawyer filed claim against the insurance company.
In his claim, the lawyer stated the cigars were lost "in a series of small fires." The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious reason that the man had consumed the cigars in the normal fashion.
The lawyer sued... And WON!
(Stay with me.)
In delivering the ruling, the judge agreed with the insurance company that the claim was frivolous. The judge stated nevertheless, that the lawyer "held a policy from the company in which it had warranted that the cigars were insurable and also guaranteed that it would insure them against fire, without defining what is considered to be unacceptable fire" and was obligated to pay the claim.
Rather than endure lengthy and costly appeal process, the insurance company accepted the ruling and paid $15,000 to the lawyer for his loss of the rare cigars lost in the "fires."
NOW FOR THE BEST PART...
After the lawyer cashed the check, the insurance company had him arrested on 24 counts of ARSON!!!
With his own insurance claim and testimony from the previous case being used against him, the lawyer was convicted of intentionally burning his insured property and was sentenced to 24 months in jail and a $24,000 fine.
This is a true story and was the First Place winner in the recent Criminal Lawyers Award Contest.
A Charlotte, NC lawyer purchased a box of very rare and expensive cigars, then insured them against fire, among other things.
Within a month, having smoked his entire stockpile of these great cigars and without yet having made even his first premium payment on the policy, the lawyer filed claim against the insurance company.
In his claim, the lawyer stated the cigars were lost "in a series of small fires." The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious reason that the man had consumed the cigars in the normal fashion.
The lawyer sued... And WON!
(Stay with me.)
In delivering the ruling, the judge agreed with the insurance company that the claim was frivolous. The judge stated nevertheless, that the lawyer "held a policy from the company in which it had warranted that the cigars were insurable and also guaranteed that it would insure them against fire, without defining what is considered to be unacceptable fire" and was obligated to pay the claim.
Rather than endure lengthy and costly appeal process, the insurance company accepted the ruling and paid $15,000 to the lawyer for his loss of the rare cigars lost in the "fires."
NOW FOR THE BEST PART...
After the lawyer cashed the check, the insurance company had him arrested on 24 counts of ARSON!!!
With his own insurance claim and testimony from the previous case being used against him, the lawyer was convicted of intentionally burning his insured property and was sentenced to 24 months in jail and a $24,000 fine.
This is a true story and was the First Place winner in the recent Criminal Lawyers Award Contest.
Just for laughs
From My InBox:
The 'Perfect' Password
> > A woman was helping her
> > husband set up his computer. At the
> > appropriate point in the process the computer advised
> > him that he would
> > now need to enter a password. Something he will use to log
> > on.
> >
> > The husband was in a rather amorous mood and figured he would
> > try for the shock
> > effect to bring this to his wife's attention. So, when
> > the computer asked him
> > to enter his password he made it plainly obvious to his
> > wife what he was
> > entering by stating each letter out loud as he
> > typed:
> > P E N I S
> > His wife fell
> > off her chair laughing when the computer replied:
> > PASS! WORD
> > REJECTED. NOT LONG ENOUGH !!
Mother's Milk
> > Students in an advanced Biology class were taking their
mid-term exam.
> > The last question was, 'Name seven advantages of Mother's
> > Milk,' worth
> > 70 points or none at all. One student in particular was
> > having a hard time
> > thinking of seven advantages. He had written:
> > 1.) It is perfect formula for the child.
> > 2.) It provides immunity against several diseases..
> > 3.) It is always the right temperature.
> > 4.) It is inexpensive.
> > 5.) It bonds the child to mother, and vice versa.
> > 6.) It is always available as needed.
> > And then, the student was stuck.
> > Finally, in desperation, and just before the bell
> > indicating! the end of the
> > test rang, he wrote...
&nb sp;
7.) It comes in cute containers.
> > He got an A
Baptising an Irishman
> > An Irishman, is stumbling through the woods, totally drunk,
> > when he comes upon
> > a preacher baptising people in the river.
> > He proceeds to walk into the water and subsequently bumps
> > into the preacher.
> > The preacher turns around and is almost overcome by the
> > smell of alcohol,
> > whereupon he asks the drunk,
> > 'Are you ready to find Jesus?'
> > The drunk shouts, 'Yes, oi am.'
> > So the preacher grabs him and dunks him in the water.He
> > pulls him up and asks
> > the drunk, 'Brother have you found
> > Jesus?'
> > The drunk replies, 'No, oi haven't found
>! > Jesus.'
> > The preacher shocked at the answer, dunks him into the
> > water again for a little
> > longer. He again pulls him out of the water and asks again,
> > 'Have you found
> > Jesus me brother?'
> > The drunk again answers, 'No, oi I
> > haven't found Jesus.'
> > By this time the preacher is at his wits end and dunks the
> > drunk in the water
> > again --- but this time holds him down for about 30 seconds
> > and when he
> > begins kicking his arms and legs he pulls him up.
> > The preacher again asks the drunk, 'For the love of God
> > have you found Jesus?' The drunk wipes his eyes and
> > catches his breath and says to the preacher, 'Are you
> > sure dis is where he fell
> > in?'
The Gracious Queen of England
> > Late breaking news from London ,
> > scene of President Obama's recent visit:
> > Barak and the Queen are
> > proceeding towards Buckingham Palace
> > in the Queen's carriage, waving to the thousands of
> > cheering Britons; all is
> > going well.
> > Suddenly the right rear horse lets fly with the most
> > horrendous earth shattering fart ever heard in the British
> > Empire . The smell is atrocious and both passengers in the
carriage must use handkerchiefs to cover their noses.
>>The Queen turns to Obama, 'Mr. President, please accept my
> > regrets... I am sure you
> > understand there are some things that even a Queen cannot control.'
> > Obama, in best Presidential style replies: 'Your Majesty,
> > please don't give the matter
> > another thought...Until you mentioned it, I thought it was
> > one of the horses.
The 'Perfect' Password
> > A woman was helping her
> > husband set up his computer. At the
> > appropriate point in the process the computer advised
> > him that he would
> > now need to enter a password. Something he will use to log
> > on.
> >
> > The husband was in a rather amorous mood and figured he would
> > try for the shock
> > effect to bring this to his wife's attention. So, when
> > the computer asked him
> > to enter his password he made it plainly obvious to his
> > wife what he was
> > entering by stating each letter out loud as he
> > typed:
> > P E N I S
> > His wife fell
> > off her chair laughing when the computer replied:
> > PASS! WORD
> > REJECTED. NOT LONG ENOUGH !!
Mother's Milk
> > Students in an advanced Biology class were taking their
mid-term exam.
> > The last question was, 'Name seven advantages of Mother's
> > Milk,' worth
> > 70 points or none at all. One student in particular was
> > having a hard time
> > thinking of seven advantages. He had written:
> > 1.) It is perfect formula for the child.
> > 2.) It provides immunity against several diseases..
> > 3.) It is always the right temperature.
> > 4.) It is inexpensive.
> > 5.) It bonds the child to mother, and vice versa.
> > 6.) It is always available as needed.
> > And then, the student was stuck.
> > Finally, in desperation, and just before the bell
> > indicating! the end of the
> > test rang, he wrote...
&nb sp;
7.) It comes in cute containers.
> > He got an A
Baptising an Irishman
> > An Irishman, is stumbling through the woods, totally drunk,
> > when he comes upon
> > a preacher baptising people in the river.
> > He proceeds to walk into the water and subsequently bumps
> > into the preacher.
> > The preacher turns around and is almost overcome by the
> > smell of alcohol,
> > whereupon he asks the drunk,
> > 'Are you ready to find Jesus?'
> > The drunk shouts, 'Yes, oi am.'
> > So the preacher grabs him and dunks him in the water.He
> > pulls him up and asks
> > the drunk, 'Brother have you found
> > Jesus?'
> > The drunk replies, 'No, oi haven't found
>! > Jesus.'
> > The preacher shocked at the answer, dunks him into the
> > water again for a little
> > longer. He again pulls him out of the water and asks again,
> > 'Have you found
> > Jesus me brother?'
> > The drunk again answers, 'No, oi I
> > haven't found Jesus.'
> > By this time the preacher is at his wits end and dunks the
> > drunk in the water
> > again --- but this time holds him down for about 30 seconds
> > and when he
> > begins kicking his arms and legs he pulls him up.
> > The preacher again asks the drunk, 'For the love of God
> > have you found Jesus?' The drunk wipes his eyes and
> > catches his breath and says to the preacher, 'Are you
> > sure dis is where he fell
> > in?'
The Gracious Queen of England
> > Late breaking news from London ,
> > scene of President Obama's recent visit:
> > Barak and the Queen are
> > proceeding towards Buckingham Palace
> > in the Queen's carriage, waving to the thousands of
> > cheering Britons; all is
> > going well.
> > Suddenly the right rear horse lets fly with the most
> > horrendous earth shattering fart ever heard in the British
> > Empire . The smell is atrocious and both passengers in the
carriage must use handkerchiefs to cover their noses.
>>The Queen turns to Obama, 'Mr. President, please accept my
> > regrets... I am sure you
> > understand there are some things that even a Queen cannot control.'
> > Obama, in best Presidential style replies: 'Your Majesty,
> > please don't give the matter
> > another thought...Until you mentioned it, I thought it was
> > one of the horses.
Friday, July 17, 2009
Old age is not for sissies
From My InBox:
The boss walked into the office one morning not knowing his zipper was down and his fly area wide open. His assistant walked up to him and said, 'This morning when you left your house, did you close your garage door?' The boss told her he knew he'd closed the garage door, and walked into his office puzzled by the question.
As he finished his paperwork, he suddenly noticed his fly was open, and zipped it up. He then understood his assistant's question about his 'garage door.'
He headed out for a cup of coffee and paused by her desk to ask, 'When my garage door was open, did you see my Hummer parked in there?'
She smiled and said, 'No, I didn't. All I saw was an old mini van with two flat tires.
An elderly gentleman...
Had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%
The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, 'Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again.'
The gentleman replied, 'Oh, I haven't told my family yet.
I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will three times!'
Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says: 'Slim, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel?'
Slim says, 'I feel just like a newborn baby.'
'Really!? Like a newborn baby!?'
'Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.'
Couple in their nineties are both having problems remembering things. During a checkup, the doctor tells them that they're physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember.
Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair. 'Want anything while I'm in the kitchen?' he asks.
'Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?'
'Sure.'
'Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?' she asks.
'No, I can remember it.'
'Well, I'd like some strawberries on top, too . Maybe you should write it down, so's not to forget it?'
He says, 'I can remember that.. You want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries.'
'I'd also like whipped cream. I'm certain you'll forget that, write it down?' she asks.
Irritated, he says, 'I don't need to write it down, I can remember it! Ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream - I got it, for goodness sake!'
Then he toddles into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes,
The old man returns from the kitchen and hands his wife a plate of bacon and eggs. She stares at the plate for a moment.
'Where's my toast ?'
A senior citizen said to his eighty-year old buddy:
'So I hear you're getting married?'
'Yep!'
'Do I know her?'
'Nope!'
'This woman, is she good looking?'
'Not really.'
'Is she a good cook?'
'Naw, she can't cook too well.'
'Does she have lots of money?'
'Nope! Poor as a church mouse.'
'Well, then, is she good in bed?'
'I don't know.'
'Why in the world do you want to marry her then?'
'Because she can still drive!'
Three old guys are out walking.
First one says, 'Windy, isn't it?'
Second one says, 'No, it's Thursday!'
Third one says, 'So am I. Let's go get a beer.'
A man was telling his neighbor, 'I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art. It's perfect.'
'Really,' answered the neighbor . 'What kind is it?'
' Twelve thirty .'
Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical.
A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm.
A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said, 'You're really doing great, aren't you?'
Morris replied, 'Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.''
The doctor said, 'I didn't say that. I said, 'You've got a heart murmur; be careful.'
One more. . .!
A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlor and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool.. After catching his breath, he ordered a banana split.
The waitress asked kindly, 'Crushed nuts?'
'No,' he replied, 'Arthritis.'
Now , before you 'forget', send them on to some other folks you know who could use a good laugh !!
The boss walked into the office one morning not knowing his zipper was down and his fly area wide open. His assistant walked up to him and said, 'This morning when you left your house, did you close your garage door?' The boss told her he knew he'd closed the garage door, and walked into his office puzzled by the question.
As he finished his paperwork, he suddenly noticed his fly was open, and zipped it up. He then understood his assistant's question about his 'garage door.'
He headed out for a cup of coffee and paused by her desk to ask, 'When my garage door was open, did you see my Hummer parked in there?'
She smiled and said, 'No, I didn't. All I saw was an old mini van with two flat tires.
An elderly gentleman...
Had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%
The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, 'Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again.'
The gentleman replied, 'Oh, I haven't told my family yet.
I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will three times!'
Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says: 'Slim, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel?'
Slim says, 'I feel just like a newborn baby.'
'Really!? Like a newborn baby!?'
'Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.'
Couple in their nineties are both having problems remembering things. During a checkup, the doctor tells them that they're physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember.
Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair. 'Want anything while I'm in the kitchen?' he asks.
'Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?'
'Sure.'
'Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?' she asks.
'No, I can remember it.'
'Well, I'd like some strawberries on top, too . Maybe you should write it down, so's not to forget it?'
He says, 'I can remember that.. You want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries.'
'I'd also like whipped cream. I'm certain you'll forget that, write it down?' she asks.
Irritated, he says, 'I don't need to write it down, I can remember it! Ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream - I got it, for goodness sake!'
Then he toddles into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes,
The old man returns from the kitchen and hands his wife a plate of bacon and eggs. She stares at the plate for a moment.
'Where's my toast ?'
A senior citizen said to his eighty-year old buddy:
'So I hear you're getting married?'
'Yep!'
'Do I know her?'
'Nope!'
'This woman, is she good looking?'
'Not really.'
'Is she a good cook?'
'Naw, she can't cook too well.'
'Does she have lots of money?'
'Nope! Poor as a church mouse.'
'Well, then, is she good in bed?'
'I don't know.'
'Why in the world do you want to marry her then?'
'Because she can still drive!'
Three old guys are out walking.
First one says, 'Windy, isn't it?'
Second one says, 'No, it's Thursday!'
Third one says, 'So am I. Let's go get a beer.'
A man was telling his neighbor, 'I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art. It's perfect.'
'Really,' answered the neighbor . 'What kind is it?'
' Twelve thirty .'
Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical.
A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm.
A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said, 'You're really doing great, aren't you?'
Morris replied, 'Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.''
The doctor said, 'I didn't say that. I said, 'You've got a heart murmur; be careful.'
One more. . .!
A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlor and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool.. After catching his breath, he ordered a banana split.
The waitress asked kindly, 'Crushed nuts?'
'No,' he replied, 'Arthritis.'
Now , before you 'forget', send them on to some other folks you know who could use a good laugh !!
The good old days
From My InBox:
For all us " elder" statesmen and women, who as present or former airline folks, pilot wannabees, Boeing 707 afficionados, this is worth passing on.
In the Age of the 707....
Those were the good ole days. Pilots back then were men that didn't want to be women or girly men. Pilots all knew who Jimmy Doolittle was. Pilots drank coffee, whiskey, smoked cigars and didn't wear digital watches.
They carried their own suitcases and brain bags like the real men that they were. Pilots didn't bend over into the crash position multiple times each day in front of the passengers at security so that some Gov't agent could probe for tweezers or fingernail clippers or too much toothpaste.
Pilots did not go through the terminal impersonating a caddy pulling a bunch of golf clubs, computers, guitars, and feed bags full of tofu and granola on a sissy-trailer with no hat and granny glasses hanging on a pink string around their pencil neck while talking to their personal trainer on the cell phone!!!
Being an Airline Captain was as good as being the King in a Mel Brooks movie. All the Stewardesses (aka. Flight Attendants) were young, attractive, single women that were proud to be combatants in the sexual revolution. They didn't have to turn sideways, grease up and suck it in to get through the cockpit door. They would blush and say thank you when told that they looked good, instead of filing a sexual harassment claim. Junior Stewardesses shared a room and talked about men.... with no thoughts of substitution.
Passengers wore nice clothes and were polite, they could speak AND understand English. They didn't speak gibberish or listen to loud gangsta rap on their iPods. They bathed and didn't smell like a rotting pile of garbage in a jogging suit and flip-flops. Children didn't travel alone, commuting between trailer parks. There were no Mongol hordes asking for a seatbelt extension, or a Scotch and grapefruit juice cocktail with a twist.
If the Captain wanted to throw some offensive, ranting jerk off the airplane, it was done without any worries of a lawsuit or getting fired.
Axial flow engines crackled with the sound of freedom and left an impressive black smoke trail like a locomotive burning soft coal. Jet fuel was cheap and once the throttles were pushed up they were left there, after all it was the jet age and the idea was to go fast (run like a lizard on a hardwood floor). Economy cruise was something in the performance book, but no one knew why or where it was. When the clacker went off no one got all tight and scared because Boeing built it out of iron, nothing was going to fall off and that sound had the same effect on real pilots then as Viagra does now for those new age guys.
There was very little plastic and no composites on the airplanes or the Stewardesses' pectoral regions. Airplanes and women had eye pleasing symmetrical curves, not a bunch of ugly vortex generators, ventral fins, winglets, flow diverters, tattoos, rings in their nose, tongues and eyebrows.
Airlines were run by men like C.R. Smith, Bob Six and Juan Trippe who had built their companies virtually from scratch, knew many of their employees by name and were lifetime airline employees themselves. . . not pseudo financiers and bean counters who flit from one occupation to another for a few bucks, a better parachute or a fancier title, while fervently believing that they are a class of beings unto themselves.
And so it was back then....and never will be again!
For all us " elder" statesmen and women, who as present or former airline folks, pilot wannabees, Boeing 707 afficionados, this is worth passing on.
In the Age of the 707....
Those were the good ole days. Pilots back then were men that didn't want to be women or girly men. Pilots all knew who Jimmy Doolittle was. Pilots drank coffee, whiskey, smoked cigars and didn't wear digital watches.
They carried their own suitcases and brain bags like the real men that they were. Pilots didn't bend over into the crash position multiple times each day in front of the passengers at security so that some Gov't agent could probe for tweezers or fingernail clippers or too much toothpaste.
Pilots did not go through the terminal impersonating a caddy pulling a bunch of golf clubs, computers, guitars, and feed bags full of tofu and granola on a sissy-trailer with no hat and granny glasses hanging on a pink string around their pencil neck while talking to their personal trainer on the cell phone!!!
Being an Airline Captain was as good as being the King in a Mel Brooks movie. All the Stewardesses (aka. Flight Attendants) were young, attractive, single women that were proud to be combatants in the sexual revolution. They didn't have to turn sideways, grease up and suck it in to get through the cockpit door. They would blush and say thank you when told that they looked good, instead of filing a sexual harassment claim. Junior Stewardesses shared a room and talked about men.... with no thoughts of substitution.
Passengers wore nice clothes and were polite, they could speak AND understand English. They didn't speak gibberish or listen to loud gangsta rap on their iPods. They bathed and didn't smell like a rotting pile of garbage in a jogging suit and flip-flops. Children didn't travel alone, commuting between trailer parks. There were no Mongol hordes asking for a seatbelt extension, or a Scotch and grapefruit juice cocktail with a twist.
If the Captain wanted to throw some offensive, ranting jerk off the airplane, it was done without any worries of a lawsuit or getting fired.
Axial flow engines crackled with the sound of freedom and left an impressive black smoke trail like a locomotive burning soft coal. Jet fuel was cheap and once the throttles were pushed up they were left there, after all it was the jet age and the idea was to go fast (run like a lizard on a hardwood floor). Economy cruise was something in the performance book, but no one knew why or where it was. When the clacker went off no one got all tight and scared because Boeing built it out of iron, nothing was going to fall off and that sound had the same effect on real pilots then as Viagra does now for those new age guys.
There was very little plastic and no composites on the airplanes or the Stewardesses' pectoral regions. Airplanes and women had eye pleasing symmetrical curves, not a bunch of ugly vortex generators, ventral fins, winglets, flow diverters, tattoos, rings in their nose, tongues and eyebrows.
Airlines were run by men like C.R. Smith, Bob Six and Juan Trippe who had built their companies virtually from scratch, knew many of their employees by name and were lifetime airline employees themselves. . . not pseudo financiers and bean counters who flit from one occupation to another for a few bucks, a better parachute or a fancier title, while fervently believing that they are a class of beings unto themselves.
And so it was back then....and never will be again!
Racists
I have read this email about Tommy Hilfiger making racist comments on Oprah Winfrey Show many years before. According to Snopes, it is not true.
===============================================================================
From My InBox:
I’m sure many of you watched the recent taping of the Oprah Winfrey Show
where her guest was Tommy Hilfiger. On the show, she asked him if the
statements about race he was accused of saying were true.
Statements like ... *“If I’d known
African-Americans, Hispanics, Jewish and Asians would buy my clothes, I
WOULD NOT have made them so nice. I wish these people would *NOT* buy my
clothes, as they are made for upper class white people.”*
Tommy Hilfiger’s answer to Oprah was a simple *“YES.”* There after Oprah
immediately asked him to leave her show.
SUGGESTIONS:
(a) Don’t buy your next shirt or perfume from Tommy Hilfiger. Let’s give
him what he asked for. Let’s not buy his clothes, let’s put him in a
financial state where he
himself will not be able to afford the ridiculous prices he puts on his
clothes. BOYCOTT. PLEASE SEND THIS MESSAGE TO ANYONE YOU KNOW.
(b) Then send it to the whole community that’s not white people and see
the result. We have to see the result of unity. Let’s find out if NON-WHITES
really play such a small part in the world. Stop buying any range of their
(Tommy HILFIGER etc) products, perfumes, cosmetics, clothes, bags, etc..
===============================================================================
From My InBox:
I’m sure many of you watched the recent taping of the Oprah Winfrey Show
where her guest was Tommy Hilfiger. On the show, she asked him if the
statements about race he was accused of saying were true.
Statements like ... *“If I’d known
African-Americans, Hispanics, Jewish and Asians would buy my clothes, I
WOULD NOT have made them so nice. I wish these people would *NOT* buy my
clothes, as they are made for upper class white people.”*
Tommy Hilfiger’s answer to Oprah was a simple *“YES.”* There after Oprah
immediately asked him to leave her show.
SUGGESTIONS:
(a) Don’t buy your next shirt or perfume from Tommy Hilfiger. Let’s give
him what he asked for. Let’s not buy his clothes, let’s put him in a
financial state where he
himself will not be able to afford the ridiculous prices he puts on his
clothes. BOYCOTT. PLEASE SEND THIS MESSAGE TO ANYONE YOU KNOW.
(b) Then send it to the whole community that’s not white people and see
the result. We have to see the result of unity. Let’s find out if NON-WHITES
really play such a small part in the world. Stop buying any range of their
(Tommy HILFIGER etc) products, perfumes, cosmetics, clothes, bags, etc..
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
10 TOP REASONS TO SMILE!
Dr Mark Stibich did post this article on the following link:
http://longevity.about.com/od/lifelongbeauty/tp/smiling.htm
==================================================================
From My InBox:
10 TOP REASONS TO SMILE!
1. Smiling Makes You Attractive.
We are drawn to people who smile.
There is an instant attraction.
We want to know them.
2. Smiling Changes Your Mood.
Next time you are feeling down,
Try putting on a smile.
Smiling can trick the body.
3. Smiling is Contagious.
Smiling brings happiness to you.
Smile lots. You will lighten up a room
And draw people to you like a magnet.
4. Smiling Relieves Stress.
When you are stressed, put on a smile.
The stress should be reduced and
You'll be able to take action.
5. Smiling Boosts Your Immune System.
Your immune function improves
Because you are more relaxed.
Prevent flu and colds by smiling.
6. Smiling Lowers Your Blood Pressure
When smiling there is a measurable
Reduction in your blood pressure.
Smile and you'll see.
7. Smiling Releases Endorphins,
Natural Pain Killers and Serotonin
Studies have shown that smiling releases
These three and makes us feel good.
Smiling is a natural drug.
8. Smiling Makes You Look Younger
The muscles used to smile lift the face.
Don't go for a face lift, just try
Smiling your way through the day.
9. Smiling Makes You Seem Successful.
Smiling people appear more confident,
Are more likely to be promoted, and
More likely to be approached.
10. Smiling Helps You Stay Positive.
Smile. Now try to think of something
Negative without losing the smile.
It's hard. When we smile our body is
Sending the rest of us a message that
"Life is Good!" Stay away from depression,
Stress and worry by smiling.
~~Mark Stibich, Ph.D.~~
http://longevity.about.com/od/lifelongbeauty/tp/smiling.htm
==================================================================
From My InBox:
10 TOP REASONS TO SMILE!
1. Smiling Makes You Attractive.
We are drawn to people who smile.
There is an instant attraction.
We want to know them.
2. Smiling Changes Your Mood.
Next time you are feeling down,
Try putting on a smile.
Smiling can trick the body.
3. Smiling is Contagious.
Smiling brings happiness to you.
Smile lots. You will lighten up a room
And draw people to you like a magnet.
4. Smiling Relieves Stress.
When you are stressed, put on a smile.
The stress should be reduced and
You'll be able to take action.
5. Smiling Boosts Your Immune System.
Your immune function improves
Because you are more relaxed.
Prevent flu and colds by smiling.
6. Smiling Lowers Your Blood Pressure
When smiling there is a measurable
Reduction in your blood pressure.
Smile and you'll see.
7. Smiling Releases Endorphins,
Natural Pain Killers and Serotonin
Studies have shown that smiling releases
These three and makes us feel good.
Smiling is a natural drug.
8. Smiling Makes You Look Younger
The muscles used to smile lift the face.
Don't go for a face lift, just try
Smiling your way through the day.
9. Smiling Makes You Seem Successful.
Smiling people appear more confident,
Are more likely to be promoted, and
More likely to be approached.
10. Smiling Helps You Stay Positive.
Smile. Now try to think of something
Negative without losing the smile.
It's hard. When we smile our body is
Sending the rest of us a message that
"Life is Good!" Stay away from depression,
Stress and worry by smiling.
~~Mark Stibich, Ph.D.~~
USED VS. LOVED
From My InBox:
While a man was polishing his new car, his 4 yr old son picked up stone and scratched lines on the side of the car. In anger, the man took the child's hand and hit it many times; not realizing he was using a wrench. At the hospital, the child lost all his fingers due to multiple fractures. When the child saw his father with painful eyes he asked, 'Dad when will my fingers grow back?' The man was so hurt and speechless; he went back to his car and kicked it a lot of times. Devastated by his own actions.......sitting in front of that car he looked at the scratches; the child had written 'LOVE YOU DAD'.
The next day that man committed suicide. . . Anger and Love have no limits; choose the latter to have a beautiful, lovely life.....
Things are to be used and people are to be loved, But the problem in today's world is that, People are used and things are loved...During this year, let's be careful to keep this thought in mind: Things are to be used, but People are to be loved ... Be yourself......This is the only day we HAVE. Have a nice day and Best regards
Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habits. Watch your habits they become character; Watch your character; it becomes your destiny. I'm glad a friend forwarded this to me as a reminder..God bless you; I hope you are having a wonderful day!
The Will of God will never take you to where the Grace of God will not PROTECT you.....Stay FAITHFUL and Be GRATEFUL.
While a man was polishing his new car, his 4 yr old son picked up stone and scratched lines on the side of the car. In anger, the man took the child's hand and hit it many times; not realizing he was using a wrench. At the hospital, the child lost all his fingers due to multiple fractures. When the child saw his father with painful eyes he asked, 'Dad when will my fingers grow back?' The man was so hurt and speechless; he went back to his car and kicked it a lot of times. Devastated by his own actions.......sitting in front of that car he looked at the scratches; the child had written 'LOVE YOU DAD'.
The next day that man committed suicide. . . Anger and Love have no limits; choose the latter to have a beautiful, lovely life.....
Things are to be used and people are to be loved, But the problem in today's world is that, People are used and things are loved...During this year, let's be careful to keep this thought in mind: Things are to be used, but People are to be loved ... Be yourself......This is the only day we HAVE. Have a nice day and Best regards
Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habits. Watch your habits they become character; Watch your character; it becomes your destiny. I'm glad a friend forwarded this to me as a reminder..God bless you; I hope you are having a wonderful day!
The Will of God will never take you to where the Grace of God will not PROTECT you.....Stay FAITHFUL and Be GRATEFUL.
Ah Beng Jokes
From My InBox:
Ah Beng bought a new mobile.
He sent a message to everyone from his Phone Book & said,
'My Mobile No. Has changed.
Earlier it was Nokia 3310. Now it is 6610'
====================================
Ah Beng : I am a Proud, coz my son is in Medical College.
Friend: Really, what is he studying.
Ah Beng: No, he is not studying, they are Studying him.
==========================================
Ah Beng : Doctor, in my dreams, I play football every night.
DR: Take this tablet, you will be ok.
Ah Beng : Can I take tomorrow, tonight is final game.
===========================================
Ah Beng : If I die, will u remarry?
Wife: No! I'll stay with my sister. But if I die will u remarry?
Ah Beng : No, I'll also stay with your sister.
=========================================
Ah Beng : People consider me as a 'GOD'
Wife: How do you know??
Ah Beng : When I went to the Park today, everybody said,
Oh, GOD! You have come again.
===========================================
Ah Beng complained to the police: "Sir, all items are missing,
except the TV in my house."
Police: "Why, the thief did not take TV?"
Ah Beng : 'I was watching TV news."
=========================================
Ah Beng comes back to his car & find a note saying "Parking Fine"
He Writes a note and sticks it to a pole, "Thanks for compliment."
=============================================
How do you recognize Ah Beng in School?
He is the one who erases the notes from the book when the teacher erases
the board.
===============================================
Once Ah Beng was walking he had a glove on one hand and not on other.
So the man asked him why he did so. He replied that the weather forecast
announced that on one hand it would be cold and on the other hand it would
be hot.
==================================================
Ah Beng in a bar and his cellular phone rings. He picks it up and
Says 'Hello, how did you know I was here?'
===================================================
Ah Beng : Why are all these people running?
Man - This is a race, the winner will get the cup
Ah Beng - If only the winner will get the cup, why others running?
===================================================
Teacher: 'I killed a person' convert this sentence into future tense
Ah Beng : The future tense is 'you will go to jail'
=====================================================
Ah Beng told his servant: 'Go and water the plants!'
Servant: 'It's already raining.'
Ah Beng : 'So what? Take an umbrella and go.'
Ah Beng bought a new mobile.
He sent a message to everyone from his Phone Book & said,
'My Mobile No. Has changed.
Earlier it was Nokia 3310. Now it is 6610'
====================================
Ah Beng : I am a Proud, coz my son is in Medical College.
Friend: Really, what is he studying.
Ah Beng: No, he is not studying, they are Studying him.
==========================================
Ah Beng : Doctor, in my dreams, I play football every night.
DR: Take this tablet, you will be ok.
Ah Beng : Can I take tomorrow, tonight is final game.
===========================================
Ah Beng : If I die, will u remarry?
Wife: No! I'll stay with my sister. But if I die will u remarry?
Ah Beng : No, I'll also stay with your sister.
=========================================
Ah Beng : People consider me as a 'GOD'
Wife: How do you know??
Ah Beng : When I went to the Park today, everybody said,
Oh, GOD! You have come again.
===========================================
Ah Beng complained to the police: "Sir, all items are missing,
except the TV in my house."
Police: "Why, the thief did not take TV?"
Ah Beng : 'I was watching TV news."
=========================================
Ah Beng comes back to his car & find a note saying "Parking Fine"
He Writes a note and sticks it to a pole, "Thanks for compliment."
=============================================
How do you recognize Ah Beng in School?
He is the one who erases the notes from the book when the teacher erases
the board.
===============================================
Once Ah Beng was walking he had a glove on one hand and not on other.
So the man asked him why he did so. He replied that the weather forecast
announced that on one hand it would be cold and on the other hand it would
be hot.
==================================================
Ah Beng in a bar and his cellular phone rings. He picks it up and
Says 'Hello, how did you know I was here?'
===================================================
Ah Beng : Why are all these people running?
Man - This is a race, the winner will get the cup
Ah Beng - If only the winner will get the cup, why others running?
===================================================
Teacher: 'I killed a person' convert this sentence into future tense
Ah Beng : The future tense is 'you will go to jail'
=====================================================
Ah Beng told his servant: 'Go and water the plants!'
Servant: 'It's already raining.'
Ah Beng : 'So what? Take an umbrella and go.'
Interview by Paul Bradshaw with Rick Warren
From My InBox:
In the interview by Paul Bradshaw with Rick Warren , Rick said:
People ask me, What is the purpose of life?
And I respond: In a nutshell, life is preparation for eternity. We were
not made to last forever, and God wants us to be with Him in Heaven.
One day my heart is going to stop, and that will be the end of my body--
but not the end of me.
I may live 60 to 100 years on earth, but I am going to spend trillions
of years in eternity. This is the warm-up act - the dress rehearsal..
God wants us to practice on earth what we will do forever in eternity.
We were made by God and for God, and until you figure that out, life
isn't going to make sense.
Life is a series of problems: Either you are in one now, you're just
coming out of one, or you're getting ready to go into another one.
The reason for this is that God is more interested in your character
than your comfort; God is more interested in making your life holy than
He is in making your life happy.
We can be reasonably happy here on earth, but that's not the goal of
life. The goal is to grow in character.
This past year has been the greatest year of my life but also the
toughest, with my wife, Kay , getting cancer.
I used to think that life was hills and valleys - you go through a dark
time, then you go to the mountaintop, back and forth. I don't believe
that anymore.
Rather than life being hills and valleys, I believe that it's kind of
like two rails on a railroad track, and at all times you have something
good and something bad in your life.
No matter how good things are in your life, there is always something
bad that needs to be worked on.
And no matter how bad things are in your life, there is always something
good you can thank God for..
You can focus on your purposes, or you can focus on your problems:
If you focus on your problems, you're going into self-centeredness,
which is my problem, my issues, my pain.' But one of the easiest ways to
get rid of pain is to get your focus off yourself and onto God and
others.
We discovered quickly that in spite of the prayers of hundreds of
thousands of people, God was not going to heal Kay or make it easy for
her- It has been very difficult for her, and yet God has strengthened
her character, given her a ministry of helping other people, given her a
testimony, drawn her closer to Him and to people.
You have to learn to deal with both the good and the bad of life.
Actually, sometimes learning to deal with the good is harder. For
instance, this past year, all of a sudden, when the book sold 15 million
copies, it made me instantly very wealthy.
It also brought a lot of notoriety that I had never had to deal with
before. I don't think God gives you money or notoriety for your own ego
or for you to live a life of ease..
So I began to ask God what He wanted me to do with this money, notoriety
and influence.
First, in spite of all the money coming in, we would not change our
lifestyle one bit.. We made no major purchases.
Second, about midway through last year, I stopped taking a salary from
the church.
Third, we set up foundations to fund an initiative we call The Peace
Plan to plant churches, equip leaders, assist the poor, care for the
sick, and educate the next generation.
Fourth, I added up all that the church had paid me in the 24 years since
I started the church, and I gave it all back. It was liberating to be
able to serve God for free.
We need to ask ourselves: Am I going to live for possessions?
Popularity?
Am I going to be driven by pressures? Guilt? Bitterness? Materialism? Or
am I going to be driven by God's purposes (for my life)?
When I get up in the morning, I sit on the side of my bed and say, God,
if I don't get anything else done today, I want to know You more and
love You better. God didn't put me on earth just to fulfill a to-do
list. He's more interested in what I am than what I do.
That's why we're called human beings, not human doings.
Happy moments, PRAISE GOD.
Difficult moments, SEEK GOD.
Quiet moments, WORSHIP GOD.
Painful moments, TRUST GOD.
Every moment, THANK GOD.
If you do not pass it on, nothing will happen.
But it might be nice to pass it on to a friend....just like I have done.
God Bless,
Tip for those who dropped mobile or ipod into water..
From My InBox:
Don't know if this is true but any better idea?
Don't know if this is true but any better idea?
Show and tell...the middle wife..
From My InBox:
The 'Middle Wife' by an Anonymous 2nd grade teacher....
I've been teaching now for about fifteen years. I have two kids myself, but the best birth story I know is the one I saw in my own second grade classroom a few years back.
When I was a kid, I loved show-and-tell. So I always have a few sessions with my students. It helps them get over shyness and usually, show-and-tell is pretty tame. Kids bring in pet turtles, model airplanes, pictures of fish they catch, stuff like that. And I never, ever place any boundaries or limitations on them. If they want to lug it in to school and talk about it, they're welcome.
Well, one day this little girl, Erica, a very bright, very outgoing kid, takes her turn and waddles up to the front of the class with a pillow stuffed under her sweater.
She holds up a snapshot of an infant. 'This is Luke, my baby brother, and I'm going to tell you about his birthday.'
'First, Mom and Dad made him as a symbol of their love, and then Dad put a seed in my Mom's stomach, and Luke grew in there. He ate for nine months through an "umbrella" cord.'
She's standing there with her hands on the pillow, and I'm trying not to laugh and wishing I had my camcorder with me. The kids are watching her in amazement.
'Then, about two Saturdays ago, my Mom starts saying and going, 'Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh!' Erica puts a hand behind her back and groans. 'She walked around the house for, like an hour, 'Oh, oh, oh!' (Now this kid is doing a hysterical duck walk and groaning.)
'My Dad called the "middle" wife. She delivers babies, but she doesn't have a sign on the car like the Domino's man. They got my Mom to lie down in bed like this.' (Then Erica lies down with her back against the wall.)
'And then, pop! My Mom had this bag of water she kept in there in case he got thirsty, and it just blew up and spilled all over the bed, like psshhheew!' (This kid has her legs spread with her little hands miming water flowing away. It was too much!)
'Then the "middle" wife starts saying 'push, push,' and 'breathe, breathe. They started counting, but never even got past ten. Then, all of a sudden, out comes my brother. He was covered in yucky stuff that they all said it was from Mom's "play-center," (placenta) so there must be a lot of toys inside there. When he got out, the "middle wife" spanked him for crawling up in there.'
Then Erica stood up, took a big theatrical bow and returned to her seat. I'm sure I applauded the loudest. Ever since then, when it's show-and-tell day, I bring my camcorder, just in case another 'Middle Wife' comes along.
Now you have two choices...laugh and close this page or pass this along to someone else to spread the laughs. I know what I did!!!
Live every day as if it is your LAST chance to make someone happy!
The 'Middle Wife' by an Anonymous 2nd grade teacher....
I've been teaching now for about fifteen years. I have two kids myself, but the best birth story I know is the one I saw in my own second grade classroom a few years back.
When I was a kid, I loved show-and-tell. So I always have a few sessions with my students. It helps them get over shyness and usually, show-and-tell is pretty tame. Kids bring in pet turtles, model airplanes, pictures of fish they catch, stuff like that. And I never, ever place any boundaries or limitations on them. If they want to lug it in to school and talk about it, they're welcome.
Well, one day this little girl, Erica, a very bright, very outgoing kid, takes her turn and waddles up to the front of the class with a pillow stuffed under her sweater.
She holds up a snapshot of an infant. 'This is Luke, my baby brother, and I'm going to tell you about his birthday.'
'First, Mom and Dad made him as a symbol of their love, and then Dad put a seed in my Mom's stomach, and Luke grew in there. He ate for nine months through an "umbrella" cord.'
She's standing there with her hands on the pillow, and I'm trying not to laugh and wishing I had my camcorder with me. The kids are watching her in amazement.
'Then, about two Saturdays ago, my Mom starts saying and going, 'Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh!' Erica puts a hand behind her back and groans. 'She walked around the house for, like an hour, 'Oh, oh, oh!' (Now this kid is doing a hysterical duck walk and groaning.)
'My Dad called the "middle" wife. She delivers babies, but she doesn't have a sign on the car like the Domino's man. They got my Mom to lie down in bed like this.' (Then Erica lies down with her back against the wall.)
'And then, pop! My Mom had this bag of water she kept in there in case he got thirsty, and it just blew up and spilled all over the bed, like psshhheew!' (This kid has her legs spread with her little hands miming water flowing away. It was too much!)
'Then the "middle" wife starts saying 'push, push,' and 'breathe, breathe. They started counting, but never even got past ten. Then, all of a sudden, out comes my brother. He was covered in yucky stuff that they all said it was from Mom's "play-center," (placenta) so there must be a lot of toys inside there. When he got out, the "middle wife" spanked him for crawling up in there.'
Then Erica stood up, took a big theatrical bow and returned to her seat. I'm sure I applauded the loudest. Ever since then, when it's show-and-tell day, I bring my camcorder, just in case another 'Middle Wife' comes along.
Now you have two choices...laugh and close this page or pass this along to someone else to spread the laughs. I know what I did!!!
Live every day as if it is your LAST chance to make someone happy!
Friday, July 3, 2009
Recipes for Health
Nothing to read and reflect on but a link to a website filled with recipes for health and bilingual too at Hop Hing.
7%
From My InBox:
Written By Regina Brett, 90 years old, of The Plain Dealer, Cleveland , Ohio "To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me. It is the most-requested column I've ever written." My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once more:
1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it..
9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.
16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
18. Whatever doesn't kill you, really does make you stronger.
19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will this matter?
27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone, everything.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time, time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
33. Believe in miracles.
34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.
35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
36. Growing old beats the alternative - dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood.
38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.
41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
42. The best is yet to come.
43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
44. Yield.
45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift."
Its estimated 93% won't forward this. If you are one of the 7% who will, forward this with the title 7%.
I'm in the 7% Remember that I will always share my spoon with you!
Friends are the family that we choose for ourselves.
Written By Regina Brett, 90 years old, of The Plain Dealer, Cleveland , Ohio "To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me. It is the most-requested column I've ever written." My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once more:
1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it..
9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.
16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
18. Whatever doesn't kill you, really does make you stronger.
19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will this matter?
27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone, everything.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time, time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
33. Believe in miracles.
34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.
35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
36. Growing old beats the alternative - dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood.
38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.
41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
42. The best is yet to come.
43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
44. Yield.
45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift."
Its estimated 93% won't forward this. If you are one of the 7% who will, forward this with the title 7%.
I'm in the 7% Remember that I will always share my spoon with you!
Friends are the family that we choose for ourselves.
What makes Chinese-CHINESE?
From My InBox:
Please check the list to see how Chinese you or your friends really
are:
There are 29 ways to know if you're Chinese. You will laugh at
yourself when you read all of them.
1. You unwrap gifts very carefully, so you can save and reuse the
wrapping
(and especially those ribbons).
2. When there is a sale on toilet paper, you buy 100 rolls and store
them in your closet or in the bedroom of an adult child who has moved out.
3. You keep a Thermos of hot water available at all times.
4. You save grocery bags, tin foil, and tin containers. You use the
grocery bags to hold garbage.
5. You hate to waste food:
(a) Even if you're totally full, if someone says they're going to
throw away the leftovers on the table, you'll finish them. (Your mom will
give a lecture about starving kids in Africa ).
(b) You have Tupperware in your fridge with three bites of rice or
one leftover chicken wing.
6. You don't own any real Tupperware- only a cupboard full of used
but
carefully rinsed margarine tubs, take out containers, and jam jars.
7. You have a collection of miniature shampoo bottles that you take
every
time you stay in a hotel.
8. You wipe your plate and utensils or wash them in a small basin of
hot
water before you eat every time you go to a restaurant.
9 . You own a rice cooker and a slow cooker
10. You wash your rice at least 2-3 times before cooking it.
11. You fight (literally) over who pays the dinner bill.
12. You have a teacup with a cover on it.
13. If you're under age 20, you own a really expensive walkman if
you're
over 20, you own a really expensive camera.
14. You're a wok user.
15. You only make long distance calls after 7pm.
16. You prefer your shrimp with the heads and legs still
attached-it,
means they're fresh.
17. You never call your parents just to say, ' Hi. '
18. If you don't live at home, when your parents call, they'll ask
if you've eaten, even if it's midnight.
19. Your parents tell you to boil herbs and stay indoors when you
get
sick. They also tell you not to eat fried foods or baked foods
because
such food are ' heaty' (yeet hey in Cantonese).
20. You e-mail your Chinese friends at work, even though you only
sit 10 feet apart.
21. You always cook too much.
22. You eat every last grain of rice in your bowl, but don't eat the
last
piece of food on the table.
23. You starve yourself before going to ' All You Can Eat ' buffet.
24. You know someone who can get you a good deal on jewelry or
electronics, computers.
25 . You own your own meat cleaver and sharpen it.
26. Your toothpaste tubes are all squeezed paper-thin.
27. You call a sausage a hotdog.
28. You wrap with napkins all the knives, spoons and forks of the
airline that you fly on and put in your travel-bag as souvenirs
29. You never forget to take with you all the unused bath and facial
tissues when you check out from the hotel because you believe that you
have paid for it all.
Now that you have read the lot, are they mostly true? Will you take
this
message and forward it to all your Chinese friends, because you will
always be proud that you're indeed a great Chinese...
Please check the list to see how Chinese you or your friends really
are:
There are 29 ways to know if you're Chinese. You will laugh at
yourself when you read all of them.
1. You unwrap gifts very carefully, so you can save and reuse the
wrapping
(and especially those ribbons).
2. When there is a sale on toilet paper, you buy 100 rolls and store
them in your closet or in the bedroom of an adult child who has moved out.
3. You keep a Thermos of hot water available at all times.
4. You save grocery bags, tin foil, and tin containers. You use the
grocery bags to hold garbage.
5. You hate to waste food:
(a) Even if you're totally full, if someone says they're going to
throw away the leftovers on the table, you'll finish them. (Your mom will
give a lecture about starving kids in Africa ).
(b) You have Tupperware in your fridge with three bites of rice or
one leftover chicken wing.
6. You don't own any real Tupperware- only a cupboard full of used
but
carefully rinsed margarine tubs, take out containers, and jam jars.
7. You have a collection of miniature shampoo bottles that you take
every
time you stay in a hotel.
8. You wipe your plate and utensils or wash them in a small basin of
hot
water before you eat every time you go to a restaurant.
9 . You own a rice cooker and a slow cooker
10. You wash your rice at least 2-3 times before cooking it.
11. You fight (literally) over who pays the dinner bill.
12. You have a teacup with a cover on it.
13. If you're under age 20, you own a really expensive walkman if
you're
over 20, you own a really expensive camera.
14. You're a wok user.
15. You only make long distance calls after 7pm.
16. You prefer your shrimp with the heads and legs still
attached-it,
means they're fresh.
17. You never call your parents just to say, ' Hi. '
18. If you don't live at home, when your parents call, they'll ask
if you've eaten, even if it's midnight.
19. Your parents tell you to boil herbs and stay indoors when you
get
sick. They also tell you not to eat fried foods or baked foods
because
such food are ' heaty' (yeet hey in Cantonese).
20. You e-mail your Chinese friends at work, even though you only
sit 10 feet apart.
21. You always cook too much.
22. You eat every last grain of rice in your bowl, but don't eat the
last
piece of food on the table.
23. You starve yourself before going to ' All You Can Eat ' buffet.
24. You know someone who can get you a good deal on jewelry or
electronics, computers.
25 . You own your own meat cleaver and sharpen it.
26. Your toothpaste tubes are all squeezed paper-thin.
27. You call a sausage a hotdog.
28. You wrap with napkins all the knives, spoons and forks of the
airline that you fly on and put in your travel-bag as souvenirs
29. You never forget to take with you all the unused bath and facial
tissues when you check out from the hotel because you believe that you
have paid for it all.
Now that you have read the lot, are they mostly true? Will you take
this
message and forward it to all your Chinese friends, because you will
always be proud that you're indeed a great Chinese...
Who Is Packing Your Parachute?
Discover the values of life with this story shared by Manzer Masood on SlideShare.
Who Is Packing Your Parachute
View more documents from Manzer Masood.
Why Are You So Tired At The End Of Each Work Day?
From My InBox:
Have you wondered why office staff is always dead tired by the end of the day and companies really require no further physical fitness programmes for their employees. The reason is that EVERYONE gets enough exercise by:
1. Jumping to conclusion
2. Beating around the bush
3. Running down the boss
4. Going around in circles
5. Dragging their feet
6. Passing the buck
7. Climbing the ladder
8. Wading through paperwork
9. Pulling strings
10. Throwing their weight around
11. Stretching the truth
12. Bending the rules
13. Pushing their luck
NO WONDER THEY ARE ALL TIRED AT THE END OF A WORKING DAY!!
Have you wondered why office staff is always dead tired by the end of the day and companies really require no further physical fitness programmes for their employees. The reason is that EVERYONE gets enough exercise by:
1. Jumping to conclusion
2. Beating around the bush
3. Running down the boss
4. Going around in circles
5. Dragging their feet
6. Passing the buck
7. Climbing the ladder
8. Wading through paperwork
9. Pulling strings
10. Throwing their weight around
11. Stretching the truth
12. Bending the rules
13. Pushing their luck
NO WONDER THEY ARE ALL TIRED AT THE END OF A WORKING DAY!!
Thursday, July 2, 2009
Biscuit Recipe- From Neiman Marcus
I have read this story many years ago. I did a check on Snopes and discovered that it is a false variation of a story that has been passing around for 50 years and Neiman Marcus is most willing to share their recipe at no cost to you.
========================================================================
From My InBox:
A little background:
Neiman-Marcus, if you don't know already, is a very expensive boutique
shop (they sell a typical $8.00 T-shirt for $50.00)
My daughter and I had just finished lunch at a Neiman-Marcus Cafe in
Dallas , USA Because both of us are such biscuit lovers, we decided to
try the 'Neiman-Marcus cookie'. It was so excellent that I asked if they
would give me the recipe. The waitress said with a small frown, 'I'm
afraid not, but you can buy the recipe.'
I asked how much, and she responded; 'Only two fifty - it's a great
deal'
I agreed to that, and told her to add it to my bill.
Thirty days later, I got my Visa statement, and the Neiman-Marcus charge
was $285. I looked at it again, and I remembered I had only spent $9.95
for two sandwiches and about $20 for a scarf. At the bottom of the
statement, it said, 'Cookie Recipe - $250.00'. That was outrageous!
I called Neiman's Accounting Department and told them the waitress had
said it was 'two fifty', which clearly does not mean 'two hundred and
fifty dollars' by any reasonable interpretation of the phrase.
Neiman-Marcus refused to budge. They would not refund my money because
according to them; 'What the waitress told you is not our problem. You
have already seen the recipe. We absolutely will not refund your money.
I explained to the Accounting Department lady the criminal statutes
which govern fraud in the state of Texas .. I threatened to report them to
the Better Business Bureau and The Texas Attorney General's office. I
was basically told: Do what you want. Don't bother thinking of how you
can get even, and don't bother trying to get any of your money back'
I said, OK, you've got my $250, and now I'm going to have $250 worth of
fun. I told her that I was going to see to it that every cookie lover in
the world with an e-mail account gets a $250 cookie recipe from
Neiman-Marcus for free. She replied, 'I wish you wouldn't do that.' I
said, 'Well, perhaps you should have thought of that before you RIPPED
ME OFF!' and slammed down the phone.
So here it is! Please pass it on to everyone you can possibly think of.
I paid $250 for this, and I don't want Neiman-Marcus to EVER make
another penny from this recipe!
NEIMAN-MARCUS COOKIES (Recipe may be halved as this makes heaps)
2 (500 ml) cups butter
680 g chocolate chips
4 (1000 ml) cups flour
2 (500 ml) cups brown sugar
2 tsp.. (10 ml) Bicarbonate of soda
1 tsp. (5 ml) salt
2 (500 ml) cups sugar
500 g Grated Cadbury chocolate
5 (1250 ml) cups blended oatmeal
4 eggs
2 tsp. (10 ml) baking powder
2 tsp.. (10 ml) vanilla
3 cups (375 ml) chopped nuts (optional)
Measure oatmeal, and blend in a blender to a fine powder. Cream the
butter and both sugars. Add eggs and vanilla, mix together with flour,
oatmeal, salt, baking powder, and bicarbonate of soda. Add chocolate
chips, grated Chocolate and nuts. Roll into balls, and place two inches
apart on a cookie sheet. Bake for 10 minutes at 375 degrees (180 C).
The above quantities make 112 cookies. Enjoy!
PLEASE KEEP THE RECIPE AND SEND IT TO EVERY PERSON YOU KNOW WHO HAS AN
E-MAIL ADDRESS!
This is not a joke-it's a true story.
========================================================================
From My InBox:
A little background:
Neiman-Marcus, if you don't know already, is a very expensive boutique
shop (they sell a typical $8.00 T-shirt for $50.00)
My daughter and I had just finished lunch at a Neiman-Marcus Cafe in
Dallas , USA Because both of us are such biscuit lovers, we decided to
try the 'Neiman-Marcus cookie'. It was so excellent that I asked if they
would give me the recipe. The waitress said with a small frown, 'I'm
afraid not, but you can buy the recipe.'
I asked how much, and she responded; 'Only two fifty - it's a great
deal'
I agreed to that, and told her to add it to my bill.
Thirty days later, I got my Visa statement, and the Neiman-Marcus charge
was $285. I looked at it again, and I remembered I had only spent $9.95
for two sandwiches and about $20 for a scarf. At the bottom of the
statement, it said, 'Cookie Recipe - $250.00'. That was outrageous!
I called Neiman's Accounting Department and told them the waitress had
said it was 'two fifty', which clearly does not mean 'two hundred and
fifty dollars' by any reasonable interpretation of the phrase.
Neiman-Marcus refused to budge. They would not refund my money because
according to them; 'What the waitress told you is not our problem. You
have already seen the recipe. We absolutely will not refund your money.
I explained to the Accounting Department lady the criminal statutes
which govern fraud in the state of Texas .. I threatened to report them to
the Better Business Bureau and The Texas Attorney General's office. I
was basically told: Do what you want. Don't bother thinking of how you
can get even, and don't bother trying to get any of your money back'
I said, OK, you've got my $250, and now I'm going to have $250 worth of
fun. I told her that I was going to see to it that every cookie lover in
the world with an e-mail account gets a $250 cookie recipe from
Neiman-Marcus for free. She replied, 'I wish you wouldn't do that.' I
said, 'Well, perhaps you should have thought of that before you RIPPED
ME OFF!' and slammed down the phone.
So here it is! Please pass it on to everyone you can possibly think of.
I paid $250 for this, and I don't want Neiman-Marcus to EVER make
another penny from this recipe!
NEIMAN-MARCUS COOKIES (Recipe may be halved as this makes heaps)
2 (500 ml) cups butter
680 g chocolate chips
4 (1000 ml) cups flour
2 (500 ml) cups brown sugar
2 tsp.. (10 ml) Bicarbonate of soda
1 tsp. (5 ml) salt
2 (500 ml) cups sugar
500 g Grated Cadbury chocolate
5 (1250 ml) cups blended oatmeal
4 eggs
2 tsp. (10 ml) baking powder
2 tsp.. (10 ml) vanilla
3 cups (375 ml) chopped nuts (optional)
Measure oatmeal, and blend in a blender to a fine powder. Cream the
butter and both sugars. Add eggs and vanilla, mix together with flour,
oatmeal, salt, baking powder, and bicarbonate of soda. Add chocolate
chips, grated Chocolate and nuts. Roll into balls, and place two inches
apart on a cookie sheet. Bake for 10 minutes at 375 degrees (180 C).
The above quantities make 112 cookies. Enjoy!
PLEASE KEEP THE RECIPE AND SEND IT TO EVERY PERSON YOU KNOW WHO HAS AN
E-MAIL ADDRESS!
This is not a joke-it's a true story.
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