Just for laughs

From My InBox:

The 'Perfect' Password

> > A woman was helping her
> > husband set up his computer. At the
> > appropriate point in the process the computer advised
> > him that he would
> > now need to enter a password. Something he will use to log
> > on.
> >
> > The husband was in a rather amorous mood and figured he would
> > try for the shock
> > effect to bring this to his wife's attention. So, when
> > the computer asked him
> > to enter his password he made it plainly obvious to his
> > wife what he was
> > entering by stating each letter out loud as he
> > typed:

> > P E N I S

> > His wife fell
> > off her chair laughing when the computer replied:


> > PASS! WORD
> > REJECTED. NOT LONG ENOUGH !!


Mother's Milk

> > Students in an advanced Biology class were taking their
mid-term exam.

> > The last question was, 'Name seven advantages of Mother's
> > Milk,' worth

> > 70 points or none at all. One student in particular was
> > having a hard time
> > thinking of seven advantages. He had written:

> > 1.) It is perfect formula for the child.
> > 2.) It provides immunity against several diseases..
> > 3.) It is always the right temperature.
> > 4.) It is inexpensive.
> > 5.) It bonds the child to mother, and vice versa.
> > 6.) It is always available as needed.
> > And then, the student was stuck.

> > Finally, in desperation, and just before the bell
> > indicating! the end of the
> > test rang, he wrote...
&nb sp;
7.) It comes in cute containers.

> > He got an A


Baptising an Irishman

> > An Irishman, is stumbling through the woods, totally drunk,
> > when he comes upon
> > a preacher baptising people in the river.

> > He proceeds to walk into the water and subsequently bumps
> > into the preacher.

> > The preacher turns around and is almost overcome by the
> > smell of alcohol,
> > whereupon he asks the drunk,

> > 'Are you ready to find Jesus?'

> > The drunk shouts, 'Yes, oi am.'

> > So the preacher grabs him and dunks him in the water.He
> > pulls him up and asks
> > the drunk, 'Brother have you found
> > Jesus?'

> > The drunk replies, 'No, oi haven't found
>! > Jesus.'

> > The preacher shocked at the answer, dunks him into the
> > water again for a little
> > longer. He again pulls him out of the water and asks again,
> > 'Have you found
> > Jesus me brother?'

> > The drunk again answers, 'No, oi I
> > haven't found Jesus.'

> > By this time the preacher is at his wits end and dunks the
> > drunk in the water
> > again --- but this time holds him down for about 30 seconds
> > and when he
> > begins kicking his arms and legs he pulls him up.

> > The preacher again asks the drunk, 'For the love of God
> > have you found Jesus?' The drunk wipes his eyes and
> > catches his breath and says to the preacher, 'Are you
> > sure dis is where he fell
> > in?'


The Gracious Queen of England

> > Late breaking news from London ,
> > scene of President Obama's recent visit:

> > Barak and the Queen are
> > proceeding towards Buckingham Palace
> > in the Queen's carriage, waving to the thousands of
> > cheering Britons; all is
> > going well.

> > Suddenly the right rear horse lets fly with the most
> > horrendous earth shattering fart ever heard in the British
> > Empire . The smell is atrocious and both passengers in the
carriage must use handkerchiefs to cover their noses.

>>The Queen turns to Obama, 'Mr. President, please accept my
> > regrets... I am sure you
> > understand there are some things that even a Queen cannot control.'

> > Obama, in best Presidential style replies: 'Your Majesty,
> > please don't give the matter
> > another thought...Until you mentioned it, I thought it was
> > one of the horses.