LIFE IS LIKE A JOURNEY

From My InBox:

Life is like a journey on a train...
with its stations...
with changes of routes...
and with accidents!

At birth we boarded the train and met our parents,
and we believe they will always travel on our side.

However, at some station our parents will step down from the train,
leaving us on this journey alone.

As time goes by, other people will board the train;
and they will be significant i.e. our siblings, friends, children,
and even the love of our life.

Many will step down and leave a permanent vacuum.
Others will go so unnoticed that we don't realize that they vacated their seats!

This train ride will be full of joy, sorrow,
fantasy, expectations, hellos, good-byes, and farewells.

Success consists of having a good relationship with all passengers...
requiring that we give the best of ourselves.

The mystery to everyone is:
We do not know at which station we ourselves will step down.

So, we must live in the best way - forgive, and offer the best of who

Golf

From My InBox:

When they discovered they lived in the same city only a few miles apart Ed  was ecstatic. He immediately started asking her out when they got home. Within a couple of weeks, Ed had taken Linda to dance clubs, restaurants, concerts, movies, and museums. Ed became convinced that Linda was indeed his soul mate and true love. Every date seemed better than the last. On the one-month anniversary of their first dinner on the cruise ship, Ed took Linda to a fine restaurant.  While having cocktails and waiting for their salad, Ed said, "I guess you can tell I'm very much in love with you. I'd like a little serious talk before our relationship continues to the next stage. So, before I get a box out of my jacket and ask you a life changing question, it's only fair to warn you, I'm a total golf nut. I play golf, I read about golf, I watch golf on TV. In short, I eat, sleep, and breathe golf. If that's going to be a problem for us, you'd better say so now!" Linda took a deep breath and responded, "Ed, that certainly won't be a problem. I love you as you are and I love golf too; but, since we're being totally honest with each other, you need to know that for the last five years I've been a hooker." Ed said, "I bet it's because you're not keeping your wrists straight when you hit the ball."

Abe and Esther - a Tax Story ...

From My InBox:

Abe and Esther are flying to Australia for a two-week vacation to celebrate their 50th anniversary. Suddenly, over the public address system, the Captain announces: "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am afraid I have some very bad news. Our engines have ceased functioning and we will attempt an emergency landing. Luckily, I see an uncharted island below us and we should be able to land on the beach. However, the odds are that we may never be rescued and will have to live on the island for the rest of our lives!"

Thanks to the skill of the flight crew, the plane lands safely
on the island. 

An hour later Abe turns to his wife and asks, "Esther, did we pay our Visa and MasterCard bill yet?" 

"No, sweetheart," she responds. 

Abe, still shaken from the crash landing, then asks, "Esther, did we pay our American Express card yet?" 

"Oh, no! I'm sorry. I forgot to send the cheque," she says. 

"One last thing, Esther. Did you remember to send the Income tax cheque to Revenue Canada this month?" he asks.

"Oh, forgive me, Abe," begged Esther. "I didn't send that one, either." 

Abe grabs her and gives her the biggest kiss in 40 years. 

Esther pulls away and asks him, "What was that for?"

Abe answers, "They'll find us!" 

The Lord's Prayer

Does this rings a bell?

From My InBox:

The Lord's Prayer

Is not allowed in most

US Public schools any more.

A

​15 year old ​

kid in WINNIPEG, Manitoba,

​ ​

wrote the following

NEW School Prayer:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Now I sit me down in school

Where praying is against the rule

For this great nation under God

Finds mention of Him very odd.

If scripture now the class recites,

It violates the Bill of Rights.

And anytime my head I bow

Becomes a Federal matter now.

Our hair can be purple, orange or green,

That's no offense; it's a freedom scene..

The law is specific, the law is precise.

Prayers spoken aloud are a serious vice.

For praying in a public hall

Might offend someone with no faith at all..

In silence alone we must meditate,

God's name is prohibited by the Provence.

We're allowed to cuss and dress like freaks,

And pierce our noses, tongues and cheeks...

They've outlawed guns, but FIRST the Bible.

To quote the Good Book makes me liable.

We can elect a pregnant Senior Queen,

And the 'unwed daddy,' our Senior King.

It's 'inappropriate' to teach right from wrong,

We're taught that such 'judgments' do not belong..

We can get our condoms and birth controls,
Study witchcraft, vampires and totem poles...

But the Ten Commandments are not allowed, 
No word of God must reach this crowd.

It's scary here I must confess,

When chaos reigns the school's a mess.

So, Lord, this silent plea I make:

Should I be shot; My soul please take!

Amen

If you aren't ashamed to do this, Please pass this on..

Jesus said, 'If you are ashamed of me, I will be ashamed of you before my Father.'

~~~~~~~~~AWESOME~~~~~~~~~~

Not ashamed. Passing this on.

HOW SHARP IS YOUR MIND?

From My InBox:

FIND THE PROBLEM IN EACH PICTURE

Colgate has created a very ingenious advertising campaign to promote their dental floss, but before I explain to you the main detail of these images, I will let you appreciate them quietly.

~ Alright, now that you had time to quietly observe the images ~

In the first one you will now notice that she has one finger too many in her hand.

In the second one a phantom arm is floating there.

In the third one the man has only one ear.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The campaign attained its purpose, because it proved that food remains on your teeth draw more attention than any physical defect.

Bloody clever ~ I failed on all counts !

Don't you hate it when they play with your brain like that?

Hearing test - THE "DEAF" WIFE PROBLEM..................

From My InBox:

THE "DEAF" WIFE PROBLEM THE DEAF WIFE PROBLEM Bert feared his Wife, Peg, wasn't hearing as well as she used to and he thought she might need a hearing aid.  Not quite sure how to approach her with this problem, he called the family Doctor to discuss the problem.  The Doctor told him there is a simple informal test the Husband could perform to give the Doctor a better idea about her hearing loss.  'Here's what you do,' said the Doctor,   ' Stand about 40 feet away from her, and in a normal conversational speaking tone , see if she hears you.

If not, go to 30 feet,   then 20 feet,  then 10 feet, and so on until you get a response.'   You can then report back to me and I can take the problem from there and your wife will be none the wiser about your little test.    That evening, the Wife is in the kitchen cooking dinner, and he was in the den.    He says to himself, 'I'm about 40 feet away,  so let's see what happens.'    Then in a normal tone he asks,   'Honey, What's for dinner?' NO RESPONSE! So the Husband moves closer to the kitchen, about 30 feet from his Wife and repeats,   'Peg, What's for dinner?' STILL NO RESPONSE!! Next , he moves into the dining room where he is about 20 feet from his Wife and  again asks,   'Honey, What's for dinner?'    AGAIN, HE GETS NO RESPONSE!!! Being extremely concerned for her inabiliy to hear by now, he walks up to the kitchen door,   about 10 feet away and says,   'Honey Pie , What's for dinner?'    YET AGAIN, HE GETS NO RESPONSE!!!!     Absolutely worried sick by now regarding her total failure to hear him, he walks right up behind her and says,   'Peg Darling, What's for dinn    F*-#?? sake, Bert, for the FIFTH time, CHICKEN!'

Traveling? Pack less.

Do you tend to be more daring when you are away from home?  I have a tendency to try things that I would never consider doing back home.  Like screaming my head off going on thrill rides at theme parks.  Well, it's part of the holiday package deal after all.

Now I am wondering if I have the guts to pack less in my luggage by going for the Vestido Multi Look. Don't know what's that?  Then watch how it is worn.



Packing less is not a bad idea, especially when the currency of your country is stronger than the one you are going to and there are bargains to be found.

The Pope tells a joke

When the Pope tells a joke, what does he joke about?