Friday, October 23, 2015

Senior computer skills

Am I supposed to laugh at myself?

From My InBox:             
Tech  support:    What kind of computer do you  have?
Customer:           A white one...
Tech support:     Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the  left of the screen.
Customer:           Your  left or my left?
Customer:    Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it  says 'can't find printer'.
I've even lifted the  printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the  computer still says he can't find  it..
Customer:         My keyboard  is not working anymore.
Tech  support:   Are you sure it's plugged  into the  computer?
Customer:          No. I can't get behind the computer.
Tech  support:   Pick up your keyboard and  walk 10 paces  back.
Customer:           OK
Tech  support:   Did the keyboard come with  you?
Customer:           Yes
Tech support:   That means the keyboard  is not plugged  in.
Customer:            I can't get on the Internet.
Tech  support:     Are you sure you  used the right  password?
Customer:            Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do  it.
Tech   support:   Can you tell me what the  password  was?
Customer:           Five dots.
Tech   support: What anti-virus program do you  use?
Customer:          Netscape.
Tech  support:   That's not an anti-virus  program.
Customer:          Oh, sorry... Internet Explorer..
Customer:     I have a huge problem.  A friend has placed a screen saver on my  computer, but every time I move the mouse, it  disappears.
Tech  support:    How may I help  you?
Customer:           I'm writing my first email.
Tech  support:   OK, and what seems to be the  problem?
Customer:          Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the little  circle around it?
This one and the  next   are our personal  favorites!  
A woman customer  called the Canon help desk with a problem with her  printer.
Tech  support:    Are you running it  under  windows?
Customer:   'No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good  point.
The man sitting in the cubicle next to me  is under a window, and his printer is working  fine.'
And last but      not least!  
Tech   support:    'Okay Bob, let's  press  the control and escape keys at the same time.
That  brings up a task list in the middle of the screen.  Now type the  letter 'P' to bring up the Program  Manager.'
Customer:          I don't have a P.
Tech   support: On your keyboard,  Bob.
Customer:          What do you mean?
Tech  support:     'P'.....on your  keyboard,  Bob.

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