Manager asked Muthu at an interview: Can you spell a word
that has more than 100 letters in it?
Muthu replyed: -P-O-S-T-B-O-X.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
After returning back
from a foreign trip, Muthu asked his wife: Do I look like a foreigner?
Wife: No! Why?
Muthu: In London a lady asked me - Are you a foreigner?
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
One tourist from U.S.A. asked to
Muthu: Any great man born in this village???
Muthu: no sir, only small
Babies!!!
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Lecturer:
write a note on Gandhi Jay a nthi
Muthu writes, "Gandi was a great man, but
I don't know who is Jay a nthi."
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Muthu was doing experiment with cockroach, first he cut it's one leg and told WALK. WALK. Cockroach walked.
Then he cut it's second leg and told the same. Cockroach walked.
Then cut the third leg and did the same. At last he cut it's fourth leg and ordered it walk! But cockroach didn't walk.
Suddenly Muthu said loudly, "I found it. If we cut cockroach's four legs, it becomes deaf."
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
On a political rally Muthu was arrested. Why??? A woman journalist walking with a badge wrote "PRESS" and He did it..
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Muthu went in a hotel. To wash hands he went to the washbasin. There he started washing the basin.
Seeing this, the manager asked what was he doing. Muthu pointed towards the board " WASH BASIN"
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Interviewer: Just imagine you’re in 3rd floor, it caught fire. How will you escape?
Muthu: its simple. I will stop my imagination!!!
Friday, June 8, 2007
Some inspiration for your next out-of-office message...
The Best "Out-Of-Office" E-Mail Auto-Replies:
1: I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail
to get the position.
2: I'm not really out of the office. I'm just ignoring you.
3: You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the
office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn't have received anything at
all.
4: Sorry to have missed you but I am at the doctors having my brain
removed so that I may be promoted to management
5: I will be unable to delete all the unread, worthless emails you send
me until I return from vacation on 4/18. Please be patient and your mail
will be deleted in the order it was received.
6: Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for
the first ten words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message.
7: The e-mail server is unable to verify your server connection and is
unable to deliver this message. Please restart your computer and try
sending again.'
(The beauty of this is that when you return, you can see how many
in-duh-viduals did this over and over).
8: Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queueing
system.You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a
reply in approximately 19 weeks.
9: Hi. I'm thinking about what you've just sent me. Please wait by your
PC for my response.
10: Hi! I'm busy negotiating the salary for my new job. Don't bother to
leave me any messages.
11: I've run away to join a different circus.
AND, FINALLY, THIS ONE TAKES THE CAKE :
12: I will be out of the office for the next 2 weeks for medical
reasons.
When I return, please refer to me as 'Loretta' instead of 'Steve'.
1: I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail
to get the position.
2: I'm not really out of the office. I'm just ignoring you.
3: You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the
office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn't have received anything at
all.
4: Sorry to have missed you but I am at the doctors having my brain
removed so that I may be promoted to management
5: I will be unable to delete all the unread, worthless emails you send
me until I return from vacation on 4/18. Please be patient and your mail
will be deleted in the order it was received.
6: Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for
the first ten words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message.
7: The e-mail server is unable to verify your server connection and is
unable to deliver this message. Please restart your computer and try
sending again.'
(The beauty of this is that when you return, you can see how many
in-duh-viduals did this over and over).
8: Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queueing
system.You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a
reply in approximately 19 weeks.
9: Hi. I'm thinking about what you've just sent me. Please wait by your
PC for my response.
10: Hi! I'm busy negotiating the salary for my new job. Don't bother to
leave me any messages.
11: I've run away to join a different circus.
AND, FINALLY, THIS ONE TAKES THE CAKE :
12: I will be out of the office for the next 2 weeks for medical
reasons.
When I return, please refer to me as 'Loretta' instead of 'Steve'.
Do fairies really exist?
If you have always been curious about fairies, take a look at these mummified fairy remains. Is it for real?
What about this fossilized piece? If you think someone may have made this one up, you are right. The “Fossilized Fairy” is one of “sideshow gaffs” created by internationally active and respected artist, Takeshi Yamada in Brooklyn, New York and it won him first prize at the 2006 Photo Hoax Contest.
What about this fossilized piece? If you think someone may have made this one up, you are right. The “Fossilized Fairy” is one of “sideshow gaffs” created by internationally active and respected artist, Takeshi Yamada in Brooklyn, New York and it won him first prize at the 2006 Photo Hoax Contest.
YOUR AGE BY EATING OUT
Part of the following message is not true because this works next year too if at step 5) you add 1758 or 1757 instead of 1757 or 1756.
No, I did not take time to figure this algebra out myself, the folks at Snopes did.
YOUR AGE BY DINER & RESTAURANT MATH
This is pretty neat.
DON'T CHEAT BY SCROLLING DOWN FIRST!
It takes less than a minute .
Work this out as you read ...
Be sure you don't read the bottom until you've worked it out!
This is not one of those waste of time things, it's fun.
1 First of all, pick the number of times a week that you would like
to go out to eat. (more than once but less than 10)
2. Multiply this number by 2 (just to be bold)
3. Add 5
4. Multiply it by 50
5. If you have already had your birthday this year add 1757
....
If you haven't, add 1756.
6. Now subtract the four digit year that you were born.
You should have a three digit number
The first digit of this was your original number
(I.e., how! Many times you want to go out to restaurants in
a week.)
The next two numbers are
YOUR AGE! (Oh YES, it is!!!!!)
THIS IS THE ONLY YEAR (2007) IT WILL EVER WORK, SO SPREAD IT
AROUND WHILE IT LASTS
No, I did not take time to figure this algebra out myself, the folks at Snopes did.
YOUR AGE BY DINER & RESTAURANT MATH
This is pretty neat.
DON'T CHEAT BY SCROLLING DOWN FIRST!
It takes less than a minute .
Work this out as you read ...
Be sure you don't read the bottom until you've worked it out!
This is not one of those waste of time things, it's fun.
1 First of all, pick the number of times a week that you would like
to go out to eat. (more than once but less than 10)
2. Multiply this number by 2 (just to be bold)
3. Add 5
4. Multiply it by 50
5. If you have already had your birthday this year add 1757
....
If you haven't, add 1756.
6. Now subtract the four digit year that you were born.
You should have a three digit number
The first digit of this was your original number
(I.e., how! Many times you want to go out to restaurants in
a week.)
The next two numbers are
YOUR AGE! (Oh YES, it is!!!!!)
THIS IS THE ONLY YEAR (2007) IT WILL EVER WORK, SO SPREAD IT
AROUND WHILE IT LASTS
Thursday, June 7, 2007
Office "Romance"
Johnny wanted to have sex with a girl in his office,
but she belonged to someone else...
One day, Johnny got so frustrated that he went up to
her and said, "I'll give you a $100 if you let me
screw you. But the girl said NO.
Johnny said, "I'll be fast. I'll throw the money on
the floor, you bend down, and I'll be finished by the
time you pick it up. "
She thought for a moment and said that she would have
to consult her boyfriend... So she called her
boyfriend and told him the story.
Her boyfriend says, "Ask him for $200, pick up the
money very fast, he won't even be able to get his
pants down."
So she agrees and accepts the proposal. Half an hour
goes by, and the boyfriend is waiting for his
girlfriend to call.
Finally, after 45 minutes, the boyfriend calls and
asks what happened.
She responded, "The bastard used coins!"
Management lesson:
Always consider a business proposal in its entirety before agreeing to it and getting screwed!
but she belonged to someone else...
One day, Johnny got so frustrated that he went up to
her and said, "I'll give you a $100 if you let me
screw you. But the girl said NO.
Johnny said, "I'll be fast. I'll throw the money on
the floor, you bend down, and I'll be finished by the
time you pick it up. "
She thought for a moment and said that she would have
to consult her boyfriend... So she called her
boyfriend and told him the story.
Her boyfriend says, "Ask him for $200, pick up the
money very fast, he won't even be able to get his
pants down."
So she agrees and accepts the proposal. Half an hour
goes by, and the boyfriend is waiting for his
girlfriend to call.
Finally, after 45 minutes, the boyfriend calls and
asks what happened.
She responded, "The bastard used coins!"
Management lesson:
Always consider a business proposal in its entirety before agreeing to it and getting screwed!
Wednesday, June 6, 2007
Hell on earth as in heaven
My family were away on a holiday at a beach resort in Pulau Redang. We really enjoyed the beach and the activities organised by the resort. We tried snorkeling for the first time and we enjoyed every minute of it and came home with very sun tanned bodies to prove.
The holiday ended badly for my son though because he was bullied by some kids amongst our travel group and was hurt while playing with them. Then he was careless with his belongings and his game boy was stolen. For someone who look forward to it the first thing in the morning, the realisation that he is never ever going to get it back hit him hard. As I watched him crying over these incidents, I felt that he has found hell on earth.
What about the heaven part of hell? Though my husband and I do not share common interest in activities we each enjoy, it was great that we could enjoy this beach holiday together. This is not the case for my fellow holiday friend. Her husband refused to join her for the trip citing that their five year old child is too young for dangerous beach activities.
While she is into outdoor activities, her husband is a homely book worm. A reverse I see in my relationship. It makes me wonder, why most couples are made up of partners of dissimilar interest? Are we seeking values in our mates that we do not have but wished for? Though I have found heaven in my mate, it can be hell for me when it is obvious that he is not enjoying what I am into and opt not to join me, often time.
Observing couples who have found their soul mates, I have been thinking that they must be living in heaven. Soul mates tend to agree to most of the ventures one or the other mate pursues. It is obvious that they support each other spiritually, financially and are usually into something or other together. So, why do I hear noises of discontent from such couples now and then? I guess nothing is perfect on earth as in heaven and only love can pull us through hell wherever we want to visualise it to be.
Meantime, we could all learn to appreciate the down to earth happiness when it is in sight.
The holiday ended badly for my son though because he was bullied by some kids amongst our travel group and was hurt while playing with them. Then he was careless with his belongings and his game boy was stolen. For someone who look forward to it the first thing in the morning, the realisation that he is never ever going to get it back hit him hard. As I watched him crying over these incidents, I felt that he has found hell on earth.
What about the heaven part of hell? Though my husband and I do not share common interest in activities we each enjoy, it was great that we could enjoy this beach holiday together. This is not the case for my fellow holiday friend. Her husband refused to join her for the trip citing that their five year old child is too young for dangerous beach activities.
While she is into outdoor activities, her husband is a homely book worm. A reverse I see in my relationship. It makes me wonder, why most couples are made up of partners of dissimilar interest? Are we seeking values in our mates that we do not have but wished for? Though I have found heaven in my mate, it can be hell for me when it is obvious that he is not enjoying what I am into and opt not to join me, often time.
Observing couples who have found their soul mates, I have been thinking that they must be living in heaven. Soul mates tend to agree to most of the ventures one or the other mate pursues. It is obvious that they support each other spiritually, financially and are usually into something or other together. So, why do I hear noises of discontent from such couples now and then? I guess nothing is perfect on earth as in heaven and only love can pull us through hell wherever we want to visualise it to be.
Meantime, we could all learn to appreciate the down to earth happiness when it is in sight.
Tuesday, June 5, 2007
Don't Answer Cell Phone While Charging!
Following email is an urban legend that has been circulating since 2005. If you take time to read posting on this by urbanlegends.about.com, you will also learn some useful safety precautions information from U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission to prevent mobile phone mishaps.
Also read a posting on Washington Post where there is a link to Snopes' claim that an incident like this did happen in India in 2004.
==========================================================================
Dear All
DO NOT ANSWER CELL PHONES WHEN IT IS PLUGGED IN!
Never, ever answer a cell phone while it is being CHARGED!!
A few days ago, a person was recharging his cell phone at home. Just at that time a call came and he answered it with the instrument still connected to the outlet. After a few seconds electricity flowed into the cell phone unrestrained and the young man was thrown to the ground with a heavy thud. His parents rushed to the room only to find him unconscious, with a weak heartbeat and burnt fingers. He was rushed to the nearby hospital, but was pronounced dead on arrival. Cell phones are a very useful modern invention. However, we must be aware that it can also be an instrument of death. Never use the cell phone while it is hooked to the electrical outlet!
Mohd Yusri Bin Yaakob
Risk Management Coordinator
Also read a posting on Washington Post where there is a link to Snopes' claim that an incident like this did happen in India in 2004.
==========================================================================
Dear All
DO NOT ANSWER CELL PHONES WHEN IT IS PLUGGED IN!
Never, ever answer a cell phone while it is being CHARGED!!
A few days ago, a person was recharging his cell phone at home. Just at that time a call came and he answered it with the instrument still connected to the outlet. After a few seconds electricity flowed into the cell phone unrestrained and the young man was thrown to the ground with a heavy thud. His parents rushed to the room only to find him unconscious, with a weak heartbeat and burnt fingers. He was rushed to the nearby hospital, but was pronounced dead on arrival. Cell phones are a very useful modern invention. However, we must be aware that it can also be an instrument of death. Never use the cell phone while it is hooked to the electrical outlet!
Mohd Yusri Bin Yaakob
Risk Management Coordinator
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