Sunday, November 1, 2009


If you have read this before from an earlier posting here, blame my age.

From My InBox:


Everything hurts and what doesn’t hurt, doesn’t work.
The gleam in your eyes is from the sun hitting your bifocals.
You feel like the night before, and you haven’t been anywhere.
Your little black book contains only names ending in M.D..
You get winded playing chess.
Your children begin to look middle-aged.
You finally reach the top of the ladder and find it leaning against the wall.
You join a health club and don’t go..
You begin to outlive enthusiasm.
You decide to procrastinate but then never get around to it.
Your mind makes contracts your body can’t meet
A dripping faucet causes an uncontrollable bladder urge.
You know all the answers but nobody asks you the questions.
You look forward to a dull evening.
You walk with your head held high trying to get used to your bifocals.
Your favourite part of the newspaper is 25 Years Ago Today
You turn out the light for economic reasons rather than romantic reasons.
You sit in a rocking chair and can´t get it going.
Your knees buckle and your belt won´t.
You regret all those mistakes resisting temptation.
You stop looking forward to your next birthday.
After painting the town red, you have to take a long rest before applying a second coat.
Dialing long distance wears you out.
You´re startled the first time you are addressed as òld timer`.
You remember today that yesterday was your wedding anniversary.
You just can´t stand people who are intolerant.
The best part of your day is over when the alarm clock goes off.
You burn the midnight oil after 9 p.m..
Your back goes out more than you do.
A fortune teller offers to read your face.
You get too much room in the house and not enough in the medicine cabinet.
You sink your teeth into a steak and they stay there.
The little grey haired lady you help across the street is your wife.
You get your exercise acting as a pall bearer for your friends who exercise.
Someone tells you to hold in your stomach and you are already are.

From: IFALPA News Bulletin.

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