God's Creation - Revised Version

In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the
Earth and populated the Earth with broccoli,
cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow and red
vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would
live long and healthy lives.

Then using God's great gifts, Satan created Ben
and Jerry's Ice Cream and Krispy Creme Donuts. And
Satan said, "You want chocolate with that?"

And Man said, "Yes!" and Woman said, "and as long
as you're at it, add some sprinkles." And they gained
10 pounds. And Satan smiled.

And God created the healthful yogurt that Woman
might keep the figure that Man found so fair. And
Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat,
and sugar from the cane and combined them. And

Woman went from size 6 to size 14.

So God said, "Try my fresh green salad." And Satan
presented Thousand-Island Dressing, buttery
croutons and garlic toast on the side. And Man and
Woman unfastened their belts following the repast.

God then said, "I have sent you heart healthy
vegetables and olive oil in which to cook them."
And
Satan brought forth deep fried fish and
chicken-fried steak so big it needed its own
platter. And Man gained more weight and his
cholesterol went through the roof.

God then created a light, fluffy white cake, named
it "Angel Food C ake," and said, "It is good."
Satan then created chocolate cake and named it
"Devil's Food."

God then brought forth running shoes so that His
children might lose those extra pounds. And Satan
gave cable TV with a remote control so Man would
not have to toil changing the channels. And Man and
Woman laughed and cried before the flickering blue
light and gained pounds.

Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low
in fat and brimming with nutrition. And Satan peeled
off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy center
into chips and deep-fried them. And
Man gained pounds.

God then gave lean beef so that Man might consume
fewer calories and still satisfy his appetite. And
Satan created McDonald's and its 99-cent double
cheeseburger. Then said, "You want fries with
that?"
And Man replied, "Yes! And super size them!" And
Satan said, "It is good." And Man went into
cardiac arrest.

God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.

Then Satan created HMOs.

If you don't send this to five old friends right
away there will be five fewer people laughing in
the world.