Jokes to start your day

From My InBox:

(1) Chinese Adam & Eve:

If Adam and Eve were Chinese, we would still be in paradise
because they would have ignored the apple and eaten the snake.

(2) Three Feelings:

What's the difference between stress, tension and panic?
Stress is when wife is pregnant, Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant, and Panic is when both are pregnant.

(3) A tap on the driver

A passenger in a taxi tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him something.. The driver screamed, lost control of the cab, nearly hit a bus, drove up over the curb and stopped just inches from a large plate glass window..

For a few moments everything was silent in the cab, then the driver said, "Please, don't ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me."

The passenger, who was also frightened, apologized and said he didn't realize that a tap on the shoulder could frighten him so much.

To which the driver replied, "I'm sorry, it's really not your fault at all. Today is my first day driving a cab. I have been driving a hearse for the last 25 years."