Friday, June 5, 2009

THIS IS HILARIOUS - PM's reply to Tolong Tolong Letter

I try not to post political issues here but this is too funny to miss. I cow tow to people who take the trouble to write like this. Where got time?!!!

From My InBox:

Intro: The first letter was posted last year, in one of the forums ,
by a person who goes by the nick "ChinChaiOne" and he named his thread
"Tolong Tolong". It was picked up by other forums, circulated around
(even in govt depts) then someone posed as an official in the PM's
office posted a reply.


>From : ChinChaiOne
28-Apr 12:15

Dear Prime Minister,
We citizens of Singapore urge you to PLEASE MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS.
We DO NOT NEED your help. Every time, you mention HELP, we have to run
for cover!!!

Help the poor? Raise GST!

Help traffic flow? Up ERP!

Help passenger service? Up Bus fare/MRT fare!

Help us get taxi? Raise taxi fare!

Help us get good government? Raise Minister and Civil servant salary!

Everytime YOU WANT TO HELP, we all PAY FOR IT!!!

need your help liao. We DARE NOT ask for help any more!!!

Sir, most honoured sir, I urge you NOT TO HELP Singapore INVEST also!
Everytime your wife invest, we all lose money! Kao liao, kum siah!
Just let us have a dose of bad governance, like recently the Mat
Selamat case, like dat¡ .so far, it is ok, your incompetence, we

PLEASE DO NOT help us have better security! Wait we all kena PAY FOR IT!!
I think it is ok lah, please just take your salary and enjoy life ok?

Thank you thank you,
I am very chin chai one, any how any how, no need to help oso can one.

Following is a reply from the Prime Minister's Office:

Date: Saturday, 2 August, 2008.

Dear Chin Chai One,

10Q you for your letter. On behalf of the Prime Minister, I am
replying to your letter as follows:

As the erected party of Singaporeans, we are here to serve.

We are demon-cratic country, you are master, we gahmen servant, we
serve you. You got problems we must help. You say no need our help?
That means you're not Singapore's master. You say you run for cover?
Cannot one, our police will find you.

GST is to help the Gahmen to help yourself. The Gahmen Service Tax is
everywhere, you go America also have one, cannot run one.

Traffic very bad, so bad that we have to hold car racing at nite to
avoid traffic jam. We believe there is no free lunch like PM's father
say before, you use, you must pay, so Every Road Pay.. So you see no
ERP cannot one.

Needless to say, passenger service also must pay. The increase in bus
fare and MRT and taxi fare are very little already. We foresee world
inflation coming: oil, steel, pay of foreign talents, etc, so we have
to pay for the service.

You see, many foreign talents come to Singapore . If we don't pay our
ministers well, they will go other countries to be their foreign
talents. So must raise salary to keep them. If not, Nathan, Shanmugam,
Bala etc will go India and work. Khaw will go Malaysia . etc etc. Must
keep them. To keep them must pay well.

You are right, any help also must pay.

To help yourself? No, it's illegal. You mean you can build your own
MRT? Run your own buses? Drive your Ba-Ong-Chia? Build your own roads?
Seow liao!! Every one help himself then how? No social order lah! Ga
ga ask for help, we are here to serve you.

We understand some of you have temporary problem. Don't worry, it is
only short term. We must look long term. We must invest long term. Now
lose a bit don't cow beh cow boo, long term! Yes, remember. 30 or 50
years later we will own Swiss banks, US banks, UK properties, maybe
even South Pole condominiums. We must tighten our seat belt and bite
our false teeth. The future very bright. As long as you continue to
support the gahmen 30 to 50 years you will see bright future. So
Chiang See Tong a bit lah. Also, investing is very complicated
business, not easy. We must pay school fee to learn from advanced

On Selamat's case, we also must learn our lesson. We encourage
life-long-learning. I learn whole life time, you learn whole life, Mr
Wong Can't Sing also whole life learning. It's actually good. Mr Wong
already apologise, don't force a dog to jump over the wall, the wall
may collapse. Old dog cannot jump high also.

Selamat's case gives us many lessons. We must be on alert, not too
complacent. Now every Singaporean know there can be a terrorist among
us any time. This is the best self defence education !! PM will give
Mr Wong another salary increment for that.

Also now we merge the prisons and detention centre, more space will be
available now. We will build it like another IR, Integrated Retention
- so those don't want our service and thinking of doing illegal
service will go there. We will pass a new law too, the expenses for
stay in that IR will be deducted from your CPF money.

Remember we must be grateful to people who help us -- and pay.

I hope I have explained the situation and give you the message
clearly. If you still need help, please call my handphone: 9990-6767
, it's toll-free.

By the way, Mr Chin Chai One, our pioneer Toh Chin Chai already toh
long ago. So if you choose to be Chin Chin Chai Chai, you will also

10Q you again,


Ah Beng
Grassrude secretary

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