THESE ARE ENTRIES TO A WASHINGTON POST COMPETITION
ASKING FOR A TWO-LINE RHYME
WITH THE MOST ROMANTIC FIRST LINE,
AND THE LEAST ROMANTIC SECOND LINE:
1. My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you has screwed up my life.
2. I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming.
3. Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
This describes everything you are not.
4. Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss,
But I only slept with you 'cause I was pissed.
5. I thought that I could love no other
-- that is until I met your brother.
6. Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's
empty and so is your head.
7. I want to feel your sweet embrace;
But don't take that paper bag off your face.
8. I love your smile, your face, and your eyes
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!
9. My love, you take my breath away.
What have you stepped in to smell this way?
10. My feelings for you no words can tell,
Except for maybe 'Go to hell.'
11. What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime.
WHO SAID POETRY IS BORING
Friday, July 26, 2013
A TWO-LINE RHYME COMPETITION
From My InBox:
Thursday, July 25, 2013
Treatment for joint and stomach pain
I received the following slide presentation today.
Dr James Wong who shared it has included a moral story in Cantonese which is not related to the subject.
My search continues and I discovered a link to Hoax or Fact which verified it to be a fact that drinking tea brewed in water boiled with papaya is an effective treatment for gout, when taken frequently.
Here is the improved formula by Professor Lai from the China School of Pharmacy to stop joint pain found from the source of this information:
Ingredient:
Papaya
Tea
Water
Method
1) Cut green papaya into small cubes
2) place into the water
3) bring to boil
4) add tea leaves to hot water to brew.
Here is another method used by Mr. Liu Qing, the Chief of the Rende Town in Tainan, who use green papaya as a tea pot to brew the tea.
1) Select green papaya which are short but broader for larger capacity to hold tea.
2) Cut off the top part of the papaya to create at "teapot" cover and make a small ventilation hole on it.
3) Make a small opening at the top of the papaya.
4) Clear away the seeds.
5) Put in the tea leaves and pour in boiling water.
6) Place the "teapot" cover back on top of the papaya.
7) Use toothpicks to secure it on the papaya.
8) Allow tea to brew.
Mr Liu prefers the taste of Oolong tea in his green papaya "teapot" and was pleasantly surprised that the stomach pain he had suffered for many years was healed after a month of consumption.
痛風救星請多 多宣傳 功德
Since it is in Mandarin and I could not read to understand what it is fully about, I did a search and discovered the same slide posted on YouTube with the following information:
Extracted: "I received these slides from Steffi Lee this morning, looks very promising. Drink 3 fresh coconut water every day for 3 weeks and the gout will be healed - you can eat anything! Also, drink Chinese tea make inside a green papaya will also heal stomach problems - Healed! Story in Cantonese sound track - 'Wisdoms Big and Small' by Vicky Tong."
My search continues and I discovered a link to Hoax or Fact which verified it to be a fact that drinking tea brewed in water boiled with papaya is an effective treatment for gout, when taken frequently.
Here is the improved formula by Professor Lai from the China School of Pharmacy to stop joint pain found from the source of this information:
Ingredient:
Papaya
Tea
Water
Method
1) Cut green papaya into small cubes
2) place into the water
3) bring to boil
4) add tea leaves to hot water to brew.
Here is another method used by Mr. Liu Qing, the Chief of the Rende Town in Tainan, who use green papaya as a tea pot to brew the tea.
1) Select green papaya which are short but broader for larger capacity to hold tea.
2) Cut off the top part of the papaya to create at "teapot" cover and make a small ventilation hole on it.
3) Make a small opening at the top of the papaya.
4) Clear away the seeds.
5) Put in the tea leaves and pour in boiling water.
6) Place the "teapot" cover back on top of the papaya.
7) Use toothpicks to secure it on the papaya.
8) Allow tea to brew.
Mr Liu prefers the taste of Oolong tea in his green papaya "teapot" and was pleasantly surprised that the stomach pain he had suffered for many years was healed after a month of consumption.
Tuesday, July 23, 2013
What is the fastest thing you know?
From My InBox:
An office manager at Wal-Mart was given the task of hiring an individual to fill a job opening.
After sorting through a stack of resumes he found four people who were equally qualified -- an American, a Russian, an Australian and a Indian
He decided to call the four in and ask them only one question. Their answer would determine who of them would get the job.
The day came and as the four sat around the conference room table the interviewer asked,
"What is the fastest thing you know?"
Dave, the American, replied, "A THOUGHT. It just pops into your head. There's no warning that it's on the way; it's just there. A thought is the fastest thing I know of."
"That's very good!" replied the interviewer.
"And now you sir?" he asked Vladimir , the Russian.
"Hmm.... let me see. A blink! It comes and goes and you don't know that it ever happened. A BLINK is the fastest thing I know."
"Excellent!" said the interviewer. "The blink of an eye, that's a very popular clich for speed."
He then turned to George, the Australian who was contemplating his reply.
"Well, out at my dad's ranch, you step out of the house and on the wall there's a light switch. When you flip that switch, way out across the pasture the light in the barn comes on. Yep, TURNING ON A LIGHT is the fastest thing I can think of."
The interviewer was very impressed with the third answer and thought he had found his man. "It's hard to beat the speed of light" he said.
Turning to Patel , the Indian , the fourth and final man, the interviewer posed the same question.
Patel replied, "Apter herring da 3 preybyus ansers sir, et's obyus to me dat the fastest thing is DIARRHEA."
"WHAT!?" said the interviewer, stunned by the response. The others were already giggling in their seats...
"Oh, I can expleyn sir," said Patel . " You see, sir, da ader day my tummy was peeling bad and so I run so fast to the batrum, but before I could THINK, BLINK, or TURN ON THE LIGHT, I had alreydi done it in my pants!"
Patel is now the new "Greeter" at Wal-Mart.
An office manager at Wal-Mart was given the task of hiring an individual to fill a job opening.
After sorting through a stack of resumes he found four people who were equally qualified -- an American, a Russian, an Australian and a Indian
He decided to call the four in and ask them only one question. Their answer would determine who of them would get the job.
The day came and as the four sat around the conference room table the interviewer asked,
"What is the fastest thing you know?"
Dave, the American, replied, "A THOUGHT. It just pops into your head. There's no warning that it's on the way; it's just there. A thought is the fastest thing I know of."
"That's very good!" replied the interviewer.
"And now you sir?" he asked Vladimir , the Russian.
"Hmm.... let me see. A blink! It comes and goes and you don't know that it ever happened. A BLINK is the fastest thing I know."
"Excellent!" said the interviewer. "The blink of an eye, that's a very popular clich for speed."
He then turned to George, the Australian who was contemplating his reply.
"Well, out at my dad's ranch, you step out of the house and on the wall there's a light switch. When you flip that switch, way out across the pasture the light in the barn comes on. Yep, TURNING ON A LIGHT is the fastest thing I can think of."
The interviewer was very impressed with the third answer and thought he had found his man. "It's hard to beat the speed of light" he said.
Turning to Patel , the Indian , the fourth and final man, the interviewer posed the same question.
Patel replied, "Apter herring da 3 preybyus ansers sir, et's obyus to me dat the fastest thing is DIARRHEA."
"WHAT!?" said the interviewer, stunned by the response. The others were already giggling in their seats...
"Oh, I can expleyn sir," said Patel . " You see, sir, da ader day my tummy was peeling bad and so I run so fast to the batrum, but before I could THINK, BLINK, or TURN ON THE LIGHT, I had alreydi done it in my pants!"
Patel is now the new "Greeter" at Wal-Mart.
Friday, July 19, 2013
Need some cheering? Read paraprosdokians.
Want to pick up a new word today? Start with "Paraprosdokians" and end your day with a smile.
From My InBox:
Paraprosdokians are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently humorous.Winston Churchill loved them.
1. Where there's a will, I want to be in it.
2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list.
3. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.
5. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
6. War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit.. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
8. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
9. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
10. In filling out an application, where it says, 'In case of emergency, Notify:' I put 'DOCTOR'.
11. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
12. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
13. I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure..
14. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
15. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
16. You're never too old to learn something stupid.
17. I'm supposed to respect my elders, but its getting harder and harder for me to find one now.
From My InBox:
Paraprosdokians are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently humorous.Winston Churchill loved them.
1. Where there's a will, I want to be in it.
2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list.
3. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.
5. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
6. War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit.. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
8. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
9. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
10. In filling out an application, where it says, 'In case of emergency, Notify:' I put 'DOCTOR'.
11. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
12. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
13. I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure..
14. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
15. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
16. You're never too old to learn something stupid.
17. I'm supposed to respect my elders, but its getting harder and harder for me to find one now.
Sayings for Thinkers
From My InBox:
Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day. Give him religion and he'll starve to death while praying for a fish.
~ Timothy Jones
When the white missionaries came to Africa they had the Bible and we had the land. They said 'Let us pray.' We closed our eyes. When we opened them we had the Bible and they had the land.
~ Desmond Tutu
I'm not a paranoid, deranged millionaire. God dammit, I'm a billionaire.
~ Howard Hughes
After the game, the King and the pawn go into the same box.
~ Italian proverb
Men are like linoleum floors. Lay 'em right and you can walk all over them for thirty years.
~ Betsy Salkind
When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife.
~ Prince Philip
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing.
~ Emo Philips.
Lawyers believe a man is innocent until proven broke.
~ Robin Hall
Kill one man and you're a murderer, kill a million and you're a conqueror.
~ Jean Rostand.
Having more money doesn't make you happier. I have 50 million dollars but I'm just as happy as when I had 48 million.
~ Arnold Schwarzenegger.
We are here on earth to do good unto others. What the others are here for, I have no idea.
~ WH Auden
The first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone.
~ George Roberts
If God had intended us to fly he would have made it easier to get to the airport
~ Jonathan Winters
Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day. Give him religion and he'll starve to death while praying for a fish.
~ Timothy Jones
When the white missionaries came to Africa they had the Bible and we had the land. They said 'Let us pray.' We closed our eyes. When we opened them we had the Bible and they had the land.
~ Desmond Tutu
I'm not a paranoid, deranged millionaire. God dammit, I'm a billionaire.
~ Howard Hughes
After the game, the King and the pawn go into the same box.
~ Italian proverb
Men are like linoleum floors. Lay 'em right and you can walk all over them for thirty years.
~ Betsy Salkind
When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife.
~ Prince Philip
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing.
~ Emo Philips.
Lawyers believe a man is innocent until proven broke.
~ Robin Hall
Kill one man and you're a murderer, kill a million and you're a conqueror.
~ Jean Rostand.
Having more money doesn't make you happier. I have 50 million dollars but I'm just as happy as when I had 48 million.
~ Arnold Schwarzenegger.
We are here on earth to do good unto others. What the others are here for, I have no idea.
~ WH Auden
The first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone.
~ George Roberts
If God had intended us to fly he would have made it easier to get to the airport
~ Jonathan Winters
Wednesday, July 17, 2013
Staring a group? Watch this!
If you want to start something, you just have to make the first move and the rest will follow. Here is a video Derek Sivers shared to prove his point during his talk at TED .
I am inspired to start a conversation with you. I am playing with letters picked out from the word "EARTH" and I realised that there is a story to share.
What do you see on "earth" as in your "heart"?
Lend a "ear"
"Hear" me
"He" is there
The "rat" too!
On "tar"
Feel the "heat"?
"Hate" that!
Where is the "hat"
On "her" with the "hare"
"Ate" it with "tea"!
On "earth" there is "heart"
Be that "heart" for the "earth"
The "art" to loving is in your "heart"
"Rate" it!
See the "tear"?
Moved?
I hope I have moved you to take similar action. What are your playing with?
I am inspired to start a conversation with you. I am playing with letters picked out from the word "EARTH" and I realised that there is a story to share.
What do you see on "earth" as in your "heart"?
Lend a "ear"
"Hear" me
"He" is there
The "rat" too!
On "tar"
Feel the "heat"?
"Hate" that!
Where is the "hat"
On "her" with the "hare"
"Ate" it with "tea"!
On "earth" there is "heart"
Be that "heart" for the "earth"
The "art" to loving is in your "heart"
"Rate" it!
See the "tear"?
Moved?
I hope I have moved you to take similar action. What are your playing with?
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