Friday, July 19, 2013

Need some cheering? Read paraprosdokians.

Want to pick up a new word today?  Start with "Paraprosdokians" and end your day with a smile.

From My InBox:

Paraprosdokians are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently humorous.Winston Churchill loved them.

1.  Where there's a will, I want to be in it.

2.  The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list.

3.  Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright   until you hear them speak.

4.  If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.

5.  We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

6.  War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

7.  Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit.. Wisdom is not putting it   in a fruit salad.

8.  To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is   research.

9.  I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

10. In filling out an application, where it says, 'In case of   emergency, Notify:' I put 'DOCTOR'.

11. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the   street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they   are sexy.

12. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute   to skydive twice.

13. I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure..

14. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call   whatever you hit the target.

15. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more    than standing in a garage makes you a car.

16. You're never too old to learn something stupid.

17. I'm supposed to respect my elders, but its getting   harder and harder for me to find one now.

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