Sayings for Thinkers

From My InBox:

Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day.  Give him religion and he'll starve to death while praying for a fish.
            ~ Timothy Jones

When the white missionaries came to Africa they had the Bible and we had the land.  They said 'Let us pray.'  We closed our eyes.  When we opened them we had the Bible and they had the land.
            ~ Desmond Tutu

I'm not a paranoid, deranged millionaire.  God dammit, I'm a billionaire.
            ~ Howard Hughes

After the game, the King and the pawn go into the same box.
            ~ Italian proverb

Men are like linoleum floors.  Lay 'em right and you can walk all over them for thirty years.
            ~ Betsy Salkind

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife.
            ~ Prince Philip

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing.
            ~ Emo Philips.

Lawyers believe a man is innocent until proven broke.
            ~ Robin Hall

Kill one man and you're a murderer, kill a million and you're a conqueror.
            ~ Jean Rostand.

Having more money doesn't make you happier.  I have 50 million dollars but I'm just as happy as when I had 48 million.
            ~ Arnold Schwarzenegger.

We are here on earth to do good unto others.  What the others are here for, I have no idea.
            ~ WH Auden

The first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone.
            ~ George Roberts

If God had intended us to fly he would have made it easier to get to the airport
            ~ Jonathan Winters