What is the fastest thing you know?

From My InBox:

An office manager at Wal-Mart was given the task of hiring  an  individual to fill a job opening.

After sorting through a  stack  of resumes he found four people who were equally   qualified --  an American, a Russian, an Australian  and  a  Indian

He decided to call the four in and ask them  only  one question. Their answer would determine who of them  would  get the job.

The day came and as the four sat around  the  conference room table the  interviewer  asked,
"What is the fastest thing  you know?"

Dave, the  American, replied,  "A THOUGHT. It just pops into your  head.  There's no warning that it's on the way;  it's just there.  A  thought is the fastest thing I know of." 

"That's very good!" replied  the interviewer.

"And now you sir?" he asked Vladimir , the  Russian.  
"Hmm.... let me see. A blink!  It comes and goes and you  don't  know that it ever happened.  A BLINK is the fastest  thing I know."

"Excellent!" said the interviewer.  "The blink of  an eye, that's  a very popular clich for speed."
He then turned  to George,  the Australian who was contemplating his reply.

"Well, out at my dad's ranch,  you step out of the   house and on the wall there's a light switch. When you flip that   switch, way out across the pasture the light in the barn comes on. Yep,  TURNING ON A LIGHT is the fastest thing I can think of."
The  interviewer was very impressed with the third answer and thought he had  found his man.  "It's hard to beat the speed of light" he  said.

Turning to  Patel , the  Indian , the fourth and final  man, the interviewer posed the same question.  
Patel replied, "Apter herring da 3 preybyus ansers sir, et's  obyus to me dat the fastest thing is DIARRHEA." 

"WHAT!?" said the interviewer, stunned by the response. The others  were  already giggling in their seats...
"Oh, I can expleyn  sir," said  Patel .  " You see, sir, da ader day my tummy was  peeling bad and so I run so fast to the  batrum, but before I could  THINK, BLINK, or TURN ON THE LIGHT, I had alreydi done it in my  pants!"

Patel  is now the new "Greeter" at Wal-Mart.