From My InBox:
A mother and her young inquisitive son were flying Singapore Airlines from
Singapore to New York. The son (who had been looking out the window) turned
to his mother and asked, "If dogs have baby dogs and cats have baby cats,
why don't planes have baby planes?" The mother (who couldn't think of an
answer) told her son to ask the pretty flight attendant.
So the boy dutifully asked the flight attendant, "If dogs have baby dogs
and cats have baby cats, why don't planes have baby planes?"
The flight attendant asked, "Did your mother tell you to ask me that?"
The little boy admitted that she did.
"Well, then, tell your mother that there are no baby planes because
Singapore Airlines always pulls out on time. Now, let your mother explain
that to you!!!"
Friday, February 27, 2009
Going natural is an alternative
No, this is not a call to walk around without your make-up on or going naked.
It's about knowing alternative ways to healing instead of medicating. This is made easier by people who have tried natural remedies for their ailments and are willing to share them on CureZone.
Also check out its link to Conversions & Equivalent Measures. You should not have any problem getting the recipes for cure right if they are in measuring units that you are not familiar with.
For those who do not have time to browse through for answers, go straight to recommended messages. There are also messages that have been rated Double Recommended or Triple Recommended.
So, if you have a remedy or solution for personal well being, share your knowledge on Cure Zone as they do cover a lot of subjects on matters that could affect one's health.
Your answer may well be awarded a Bright Star or noted Recommended for Newsletter!
It's about knowing alternative ways to healing instead of medicating. This is made easier by people who have tried natural remedies for their ailments and are willing to share them on CureZone.
Also check out its link to Conversions & Equivalent Measures. You should not have any problem getting the recipes for cure right if they are in measuring units that you are not familiar with.
For those who do not have time to browse through for answers, go straight to recommended messages. There are also messages that have been rated Double Recommended or Triple Recommended.
So, if you have a remedy or solution for personal well being, share your knowledge on Cure Zone as they do cover a lot of subjects on matters that could affect one's health.
Your answer may well be awarded a Bright Star or noted Recommended for Newsletter!
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
If Dads Took Care Of Babies!!!
I have seen these cute photos of children before but when Fondas Vak attached them with the tittle, "If Dads Took Care Of Babies!!!", it becomes hilarious.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Be a story teller.
NEVER LIGHT CANDLE in AIR-CON. ROOM
I am not able to verify if this is a true story. However, there are many ways to enjoy aromatherapy so why take chances by lighting a candle while you are asleep in an enclosed room?
Hoax Slayer wrote about this email in 2004. Read some useful information posted about carbon monoxide poisoning with this story.
===========================================================================
For those who sleep in the air-cond room
A friend of mine has passed away recently,
Please read the mail below and be careful.
Heard of a bad news regarding Charleine, who
studied in MSMKL with some of us. She passed
away last weekend due to carbon monoxide poisoning.
It happened when she lighted an aromatheraputic
candle for the night in a room with air-conditioning
on and all windows closed.
Due to lack of oxygen in the room, the burning of the
candle cannot fully oxidized & thus forming dangerous
carbon monoxide.
Carbon monoxide will prevent oxygen exchange in the
lungs, resulting the person dozing off to state of
unconsciousness & eventually death in less than 1 hour,
depending on the room size.
I am sending this e-mail out to all of you so that you will be aware of such
danger when lighting aromatheraputic candles in any unventilated rooms.
Please forward this email to all your love ones.
Hoax Slayer wrote about this email in 2004. Read some useful information posted about carbon monoxide poisoning with this story.
===========================================================================
For those who sleep in the air-cond room
A friend of mine has passed away recently,
Please read the mail below and be careful.
Heard of a bad news regarding Charleine, who
studied in MSMKL with some of us. She passed
away last weekend due to carbon monoxide poisoning.
It happened when she lighted an aromatheraputic
candle for the night in a room with air-conditioning
on and all windows closed.
Due to lack of oxygen in the room, the burning of the
candle cannot fully oxidized & thus forming dangerous
carbon monoxide.
Carbon monoxide will prevent oxygen exchange in the
lungs, resulting the person dozing off to state of
unconsciousness & eventually death in less than 1 hour,
depending on the room size.
I am sending this e-mail out to all of you so that you will be aware of such
danger when lighting aromatheraputic candles in any unventilated rooms.
Please forward this email to all your love ones.
Monday, February 23, 2009
Enneagram by Tai Tran
Have you heard of Enneagram? Discovered a slideshow on it by Tai Tran on SlideShare. According to Wikipedia, it is a system that describes nine distinct personality types based on the kinds of things one habitually attends to and puts energy into. This helps create self awareness so that you can avoid engaging in patterns of thought, emotion, and behavior in an automatic, habitual and unconscious way.
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Delta Goodrem - Together We Are One
You have been reading my emails for a while now, don't you think I have great friends? Here is one from Frankie who usually inspire or motivate me with what he shares.
==============================================================================
My InBox:
My daughter keeps playing this song for a number of times, which got my curiosity one day, as I began to like the song and the voice of the singer.
Upon enquiry, she told me it was sung by a Delta Goodrem during the 2006 Coomonwealth Games in Australia.
She sent me all the attachments and after I watched them, I must agree, it was a great song by a great singer whom I regard as the next Celine Dion. Celine is a world celebrated singer whose voice has no equal.
Apparently, Delta has a brush with cancer at the age of 18 but she is now on the road to recovery, as one is never free from cancer. She sung her heart out in the opening ceremony and I must admit, she was the best choice for the occasion, given her life-threatening experience in the past and her powerful soul-stirring voice.
I find the lyrics also inspiring.
So enjoy the wonderful opening ceremony and hope this song will inspire you as it did to me.
==============================================================================
My InBox:
My daughter keeps playing this song for a number of times, which got my curiosity one day, as I began to like the song and the voice of the singer.
Upon enquiry, she told me it was sung by a Delta Goodrem during the 2006 Coomonwealth Games in Australia.
She sent me all the attachments and after I watched them, I must agree, it was a great song by a great singer whom I regard as the next Celine Dion. Celine is a world celebrated singer whose voice has no equal.
Apparently, Delta has a brush with cancer at the age of 18 but she is now on the road to recovery, as one is never free from cancer. She sung her heart out in the opening ceremony and I must admit, she was the best choice for the occasion, given her life-threatening experience in the past and her powerful soul-stirring voice.
I find the lyrics also inspiring.
So enjoy the wonderful opening ceremony and hope this song will inspire you as it did to me.
Gonna Be a Bear
I would love to get to know this writer with such a great sense of humour. Could it be Thorny who wrote it for Virtual Planet on July 5th, 2005?
===============================================================================
My InBox:
In this life, I’m a woman. In my next life, I’d like to come back as a bear. When you’re a bear, you get to hibernate. You do nothing but sleep for six months. I could deal with that.
Before you hibernate, you’re supposed to eat yourself stupid. I could deal with that too.
When you’re a girl bear, you birth your children (who are the size of walnuts) while you’re sleeping and wake to partially grown, cute, cuddly cubs. I could definately deal with that.
If you’re mama bear, everyone knows you mean business. You swat anyone who bothers your cubs. If your cubs get out of line, you swat them too. I could deal with that.
If you’re a bear, your mate EXPECTS you to wake up growling. He EXPECTS that you will have hairy legs and excess body fat.
Yup, gonna be a bear!
===============================================================================
My InBox:
In this life, I’m a woman. In my next life, I’d like to come back as a bear. When you’re a bear, you get to hibernate. You do nothing but sleep for six months. I could deal with that.
Before you hibernate, you’re supposed to eat yourself stupid. I could deal with that too.
When you’re a girl bear, you birth your children (who are the size of walnuts) while you’re sleeping and wake to partially grown, cute, cuddly cubs. I could definately deal with that.
If you’re mama bear, everyone knows you mean business. You swat anyone who bothers your cubs. If your cubs get out of line, you swat them too. I could deal with that.
If you’re a bear, your mate EXPECTS you to wake up growling. He EXPECTS that you will have hairy legs and excess body fat.
Yup, gonna be a bear!
Saturday, February 21, 2009
Kidnap Scam
This is possibly a true story as some guidelines have been posted on link to Crime Prevention against such scams on the website of Singapore Police Force.
======================================================================
From My InBox:
important note from a friend to share with you........
A while ago heard that my friend's brother-in law's mother was cheated of RM350, 000. And today, this happened to me. Until now, when I think of it, I still feel numb all over. Only difference is that they did not manage to cheat my money.
This afternoon, I was still in the office on my computer when my handphone rang; I picked it up, but no answer on the other side. I hung up, but it rang again, I looked but there was no registered no. I picked up the phone and again no one on line. This happened for many many time. I did hear some soft voices of a few men on the other side but could not hear exactly what they were saying. This went on and on, my phone just did not stop ringing. Then I remembered what I've read in the newspapers and decided to call home. But I kept calling and could not get through to my house no. and no one picked up on my mother's handphone. Meantime, my handphone did not stop ringing. I was getting really worried and finally managed to get through to home and my mother picked up the phone. She was crying and kept asking me where I was. When I told her I was at the office, she would not believe me and I needed to reassure her that yes, I am in the office.
I found out that someone called my mother telling her that I've borrowed RM120, 000 from them and asked her to bring that money immediately for my release. They even had someone screaming at the side pretending to be me "Mum, I am xxxx, come save me quick"... My mother was so scared and the party kept my mother on the line with a lot of rubbish, refusing to let her hang up. Kept telling my mother to prepare the money to save me. Luckily I called home; otherwise my mother would have gone to prepare the money.
Please be careful.....
1. The cheaters thought that if they keep calling my handphone, I will really feel annoyed and switch off my handphone then my mother will not be able to contact me.
2. The cheaters must have also kept her on the phone all the time so as not to give her time to call me to confirm my safety. Please go home and tell your family that if they meet the same situation, do not worry, do not panic. Call around to check, many other phones you can use. If your handphone also ring non-stop like mine, do not switch off your handphone. Call home immediately to check. Let your family know that you are ok.
======================================================================
From My InBox:
important note from a friend to share with you........
A while ago heard that my friend's brother-in law's mother was cheated of RM350, 000. And today, this happened to me. Until now, when I think of it, I still feel numb all over. Only difference is that they did not manage to cheat my money.
This afternoon, I was still in the office on my computer when my handphone rang; I picked it up, but no answer on the other side. I hung up, but it rang again, I looked but there was no registered no. I picked up the phone and again no one on line. This happened for many many time. I did hear some soft voices of a few men on the other side but could not hear exactly what they were saying. This went on and on, my phone just did not stop ringing. Then I remembered what I've read in the newspapers and decided to call home. But I kept calling and could not get through to my house no. and no one picked up on my mother's handphone. Meantime, my handphone did not stop ringing. I was getting really worried and finally managed to get through to home and my mother picked up the phone. She was crying and kept asking me where I was. When I told her I was at the office, she would not believe me and I needed to reassure her that yes, I am in the office.
I found out that someone called my mother telling her that I've borrowed RM120, 000 from them and asked her to bring that money immediately for my release. They even had someone screaming at the side pretending to be me "Mum, I am xxxx, come save me quick"... My mother was so scared and the party kept my mother on the line with a lot of rubbish, refusing to let her hang up. Kept telling my mother to prepare the money to save me. Luckily I called home; otherwise my mother would have gone to prepare the money.
Please be careful.....
1. The cheaters thought that if they keep calling my handphone, I will really feel annoyed and switch off my handphone then my mother will not be able to contact me.
2. The cheaters must have also kept her on the phone all the time so as not to give her time to call me to confirm my safety. Please go home and tell your family that if they meet the same situation, do not worry, do not panic. Call around to check, many other phones you can use. If your handphone also ring non-stop like mine, do not switch off your handphone. Call home immediately to check. Let your family know that you are ok.
Friday, February 20, 2009
The oil on the Tyre Trick
This sounds possible.
================================================================
From My InBox:
This incident happened to me and be very careful if you ever encounter such case in future.
On Thur 5 Feb, I was driving home after work in the afternoon. quite a number of cars on the road. I was driving near the UE3, Taman Miharja, Cheras when 2 Indian guys on a motorbike honked me and pointed to the passenger-side wheel. I slowed down, not stopping bdut they kept honking and pointing to the wheel. Finally, I stopped at the side of the road in front of the UE3 complex. The 2 guys stopped and came down from their bike. One has the “BMW” name and logo on his blue shirt. While the other guy squatted in fron of the passenger-side wheel (I cant see him), the “BMW” guy came to the passenger side. My car is always locked when I drive and I lowered the passenger=side window about 2 inch to talk with him. Speaking in Malay, he told me my wheel has smoke and oil. I hesitated evaluating the situation, and he then bend down at the wheel and came up showing me his finger with some oil on it. He said my brake oil is leaking and cannot drive and ask me to go down out to see the wheel. Pointing to Taman Pertama which is just nearby, I told him I stay there and will go to my mechanic there for check-up. He kept insisting I dont drive as my brakes are not working and can get an accident. He kept asking me to go down and look at the wheel. I said no and I drove off. Giving this “Good Samaritan” the benefit of the doubt, I drove home very slowly in case I really cannot brake the car. 10 min later I arrived at my mechanic shop which is quite near to my house. I ask the mechanic if there is any oil in the wheel, he touched it and said yes and possible brake oil is leaking. He took it into the workshop and took out the wheel. Lo and behold, there was no leak, all dry. There was some oil at the brake pd and at the back of the tyre. He took out the driver-side tyre and it was dry too. He told me the only possible answer was that someone must have poured oil into my wheel. He washed the tyres and cleaned up the oil and then I went off.
I didnt tell the mechanic what had happened earlier but putting 2 and 2 together, I think I know what happened.
The 2 Indian guys stopped me. While one was talking with me, the other guy squatting at the wheel must have poured some oil into my wheel, making me think my car’s brake oil was leaking and in panic, I might go down and check (that’s why he kept asking me to go down and see). If I go out of the car to see, the following things can happen:-
1. one guy will drive off with my car (hoping in panic I’ll leave the car keys in the car) while the other will ride off in his motorbike.
2. they will threaten and rob me (with or without injury)
3. they will say they can repair my car very fast with no hassle and charge me a bomb
Looking at the crime situation in KL these days, I think either one of the first 2 possibilities will happen. Thank God, I was alert and didnt panic.
So for you drivers in KL, please be careful and be alert at all times while driving. Dont be so gullible and take all “Good Samaritan” word as true. If it happens drive to the nearest police station or mechanic workshop. The worst thing that can happen is to buy 2 brand new tyres (if tyres are kaput) or pay to repair for the damage done to the car. Cheaper than your life or your car..
So drive carefully. Cheers.
LCWong
================================================================
From My InBox:
This incident happened to me and be very careful if you ever encounter such case in future.
On Thur 5 Feb, I was driving home after work in the afternoon. quite a number of cars on the road. I was driving near the UE3, Taman Miharja, Cheras when 2 Indian guys on a motorbike honked me and pointed to the passenger-side wheel. I slowed down, not stopping bdut they kept honking and pointing to the wheel. Finally, I stopped at the side of the road in front of the UE3 complex. The 2 guys stopped and came down from their bike. One has the “BMW” name and logo on his blue shirt. While the other guy squatted in fron of the passenger-side wheel (I cant see him), the “BMW” guy came to the passenger side. My car is always locked when I drive and I lowered the passenger=side window about 2 inch to talk with him. Speaking in Malay, he told me my wheel has smoke and oil. I hesitated evaluating the situation, and he then bend down at the wheel and came up showing me his finger with some oil on it. He said my brake oil is leaking and cannot drive and ask me to go down out to see the wheel. Pointing to Taman Pertama which is just nearby, I told him I stay there and will go to my mechanic there for check-up. He kept insisting I dont drive as my brakes are not working and can get an accident. He kept asking me to go down and look at the wheel. I said no and I drove off. Giving this “Good Samaritan” the benefit of the doubt, I drove home very slowly in case I really cannot brake the car. 10 min later I arrived at my mechanic shop which is quite near to my house. I ask the mechanic if there is any oil in the wheel, he touched it and said yes and possible brake oil is leaking. He took it into the workshop and took out the wheel. Lo and behold, there was no leak, all dry. There was some oil at the brake pd and at the back of the tyre. He took out the driver-side tyre and it was dry too. He told me the only possible answer was that someone must have poured oil into my wheel. He washed the tyres and cleaned up the oil and then I went off.
I didnt tell the mechanic what had happened earlier but putting 2 and 2 together, I think I know what happened.
The 2 Indian guys stopped me. While one was talking with me, the other guy squatting at the wheel must have poured some oil into my wheel, making me think my car’s brake oil was leaking and in panic, I might go down and check (that’s why he kept asking me to go down and see). If I go out of the car to see, the following things can happen:-
1. one guy will drive off with my car (hoping in panic I’ll leave the car keys in the car) while the other will ride off in his motorbike.
2. they will threaten and rob me (with or without injury)
3. they will say they can repair my car very fast with no hassle and charge me a bomb
Looking at the crime situation in KL these days, I think either one of the first 2 possibilities will happen. Thank God, I was alert and didnt panic.
So for you drivers in KL, please be careful and be alert at all times while driving. Dont be so gullible and take all “Good Samaritan” word as true. If it happens drive to the nearest police station or mechanic workshop. The worst thing that can happen is to buy 2 brand new tyres (if tyres are kaput) or pay to repair for the damage done to the car. Cheaper than your life or your car..
So drive carefully. Cheers.
LCWong
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Teacher Arrested.
Poor George Bush. When will jokes against him stop circulating?
From My InBox:
A public school teacher was arrested today at John F Kennedy International
Airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler,
a protractor, as set square, a slide rule, and a calculator. At a morning
press conference, the Attorney General said he believes the man is a
member of the notorious al-Gebra movement. He did not identify the man,
who has been charged by the FBI with carrying Weapons of Maths
Instruction. "Let there be no doubt, al-Gebra is a problem for us all,"
the Attorney General said. "They desire solutions by means and extremes
and sometimes go off on tangents in a search of absolute values. They use
secret code names like 'x' and 'y' and refer to themselves as 'unknowns,'
but we have determined they belong to a common denominator of the axis of
medieval with coordinates in every country. As the Greek philanderer
Isosceles used to say, 'There are three sides to every triangle.' When
asked to comment on the arrest, President George W. Bush said, 'If God had
wanted us to have better Weapons of Maths Instruction, He would have given
us more fingers and toes.' White house aides told reporters they could not
recall a more intelligent or profound statement by the President.
From My InBox:
A public school teacher was arrested today at John F Kennedy International
Airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler,
a protractor, as set square, a slide rule, and a calculator. At a morning
press conference, the Attorney General said he believes the man is a
member of the notorious al-Gebra movement. He did not identify the man,
who has been charged by the FBI with carrying Weapons of Maths
Instruction. "Let there be no doubt, al-Gebra is a problem for us all,"
the Attorney General said. "They desire solutions by means and extremes
and sometimes go off on tangents in a search of absolute values. They use
secret code names like 'x' and 'y' and refer to themselves as 'unknowns,'
but we have determined they belong to a common denominator of the axis of
medieval with coordinates in every country. As the Greek philanderer
Isosceles used to say, 'There are three sides to every triangle.' When
asked to comment on the arrest, President George W. Bush said, 'If God had
wanted us to have better Weapons of Maths Instruction, He would have given
us more fingers and toes.' White house aides told reporters they could not
recall a more intelligent or profound statement by the President.
Women Drivers
Been there done that? I have.
========================================================
From My InBox:
========================================================
From My InBox:
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Preikestolen, Norway
My friend emailed a slideshow about Preikestolen which is located near Stavanger in Norway. According to Wikipedia, Preikestolen means Preacher's Pulpit or Pulpit Rock.
I discovered the same slides shared by Majordomoers on SlideShare.
From My InBox:
I discovered the same slides shared by Majordomoers on SlideShare.
From My InBox:
Preikestolen En
View more presentations from majordomoers.
Liability for a lost or stolen credit card
Found the same article posted on Consumers Association of Penang dated Wednesday, 26 March 2008:
============================================================
From My InBox:
All Malaysians should be made aware of this clause …….
The limit of your liability for a lost or stolen credit card is RM250.00 only under Rule 13.2 of the Bank Negara rules on credit card if it has been fraudulently used.
Please note this limit and ensure that your bank does not overcharge you should your card have been used illegally.
Most are unaware of RM250 limited liability – PLEASE READ AND BE INFORMED! CARDHOLDERS need not pay more than RM250 whenever their lost or stolen credit cards are used by others. Yet, often times, they end up paying much more.
This is because Bank Negara has not informed cardholders that they do not have to pay more than RM250 for fraudulent transactions carried out using their lost or stolen cards, when they had not acted fraudulently and had informed the banks about the lost or stolen cards as soon as possible.
This protection is given under Clause 13.2 of Bank Negara's Credit Card Guideline:
"The cardholder's maximum liability for unauthorised transactions as a consequence of a lost or stolen credit card shall be confined to a limit specified by the issuer of credit cards, which shall not exceed RM250 provided the cardholder has not acted fraudulently or has not failed to inform the issuer of credit cards as soon as reasonably practicable after having found that his credit card is lost or stolen."
Banks know about Clause
13.2 but have chosen to ignore it. Instead they pursue cardholders for the fraudulent transactions.
They will tell cardholders that a clause in the credit card contracts states that all transactions carried out before the loss of the cards are reported to the banks, are deemed to be carried out by the cardholders.
Many cardholders then pay up because they are unaware of the RM250 limited liability.
Bank Negara should rule that:
*THE RM250 maximum liability on fraudulent transactions is highlighted to cardholders in the card agreements as well as in the monthly card statements.
*BANKS are not allowed to insert any clause in the card agreement which is contrary to Clause 13.2.
*BANKS should refund all money in excess of the RM250 collected from cardholders whose cases clearly come under Clause 13.2.
S.M. MOHAMED IDRIS,
President,
Consumers Association of Penang
============================================================
From My InBox:
All Malaysians should be made aware of this clause …….
The limit of your liability for a lost or stolen credit card is RM250.00 only under Rule 13.2 of the Bank Negara rules on credit card if it has been fraudulently used.
Please note this limit and ensure that your bank does not overcharge you should your card have been used illegally.
Most are unaware of RM250 limited liability – PLEASE READ AND BE INFORMED! CARDHOLDERS need not pay more than RM250 whenever their lost or stolen credit cards are used by others. Yet, often times, they end up paying much more.
This is because Bank Negara has not informed cardholders that they do not have to pay more than RM250 for fraudulent transactions carried out using their lost or stolen cards, when they had not acted fraudulently and had informed the banks about the lost or stolen cards as soon as possible.
This protection is given under Clause 13.2 of Bank Negara's Credit Card Guideline:
"The cardholder's maximum liability for unauthorised transactions as a consequence of a lost or stolen credit card shall be confined to a limit specified by the issuer of credit cards, which shall not exceed RM250 provided the cardholder has not acted fraudulently or has not failed to inform the issuer of credit cards as soon as reasonably practicable after having found that his credit card is lost or stolen."
Banks know about Clause
13.2 but have chosen to ignore it. Instead they pursue cardholders for the fraudulent transactions.
They will tell cardholders that a clause in the credit card contracts states that all transactions carried out before the loss of the cards are reported to the banks, are deemed to be carried out by the cardholders.
Many cardholders then pay up because they are unaware of the RM250 limited liability.
Bank Negara should rule that:
*THE RM250 maximum liability on fraudulent transactions is highlighted to cardholders in the card agreements as well as in the monthly card statements.
*BANKS are not allowed to insert any clause in the card agreement which is contrary to Clause 13.2.
*BANKS should refund all money in excess of the RM250 collected from cardholders whose cases clearly come under Clause 13.2.
S.M. MOHAMED IDRIS,
President,
Consumers Association of Penang
Expect changes in expectations
An Obituary
From My InBox:
An Obituary printed in the London Times, so it was said.
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who
has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was,
since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.
He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:
- Knowing when to come in out of the rain;
- Why the early bird gets the worm;
- Life isn't always fair;
- and maybe it was my fault.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend
more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children,
are in charge).
His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but
overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy
charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens
suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher
fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.
Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the
job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly
children. It declined even further when schools were required to get
parental consent to administer sun lotion or an aspirin to a student;
but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted
to have an abortion.
Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses;
and criminals received better treatment than their victims. Common
Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar
in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.
Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to
realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in
her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement. Common Sense was
preceded in death, by his parents, Truth and Trust, by his wife,
Discretion, by his daughter, Responsibility, and by his son, Reason.
He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, I Want It Now,
Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim.
Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If
you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do
nothing.
source: unknown
An Obituary printed in the London Times, so it was said.
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who
has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was,
since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.
He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:
- Knowing when to come in out of the rain;
- Why the early bird gets the worm;
- Life isn't always fair;
- and maybe it was my fault.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend
more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children,
are in charge).
His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but
overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy
charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens
suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher
fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.
Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the
job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly
children. It declined even further when schools were required to get
parental consent to administer sun lotion or an aspirin to a student;
but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted
to have an abortion.
Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses;
and criminals received better treatment than their victims. Common
Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar
in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.
Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to
realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in
her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement. Common Sense was
preceded in death, by his parents, Truth and Trust, by his wife,
Discretion, by his daughter, Responsibility, and by his son, Reason.
He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, I Want It Now,
Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim.
Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If
you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do
nothing.
source: unknown
Sunday, February 15, 2009
BOB
From My InBox:
Bob works hard at the office but spends two nights each week bowling, and plays golf every Saturday.
His wife thinks he's pushing himself too hard, so for his birthday she takes him to a localstrip club.
The doorman at the club greets them and says, 'Hey, Bob! How ya doin?'
His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before.
'Oh no,' says Bob. 'He's in my bowling league.
When they are seated, a waitress asks Bob if he'd like his usual and brings over a Budweiser.
His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and says, 'How did she know that you drink Budweiser?'
'I recognize her, she's the waitress from the golf club.
I always have a Bud at the end of the 1st nine, honey.'
A stripper then comes over to their table, throws her arms around Bob, starts to rub herself all over him and says,
'Hi Bobby. Want your usual table dance, big boy?'
Bob's wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club.
Bob follows and spots her getting into a cab.
Before she can slam the door, he jumps in beside her.
Bob tries desperately to explain how the stripper must have mistaken him for someone else, but his wife is having none of it .
She is screaming at him at the top of her lungs, calling him every 4 letter word in the book.
The cabby turns around and says,
'Geez Bob, you picked up a real bitch this time.'
BOB's funeral will be on Friday.
Bob works hard at the office but spends two nights each week bowling, and plays golf every Saturday.
His wife thinks he's pushing himself too hard, so for his birthday she takes him to a localstrip club.
The doorman at the club greets them and says, 'Hey, Bob! How ya doin?'
His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before.
'Oh no,' says Bob. 'He's in my bowling league.
When they are seated, a waitress asks Bob if he'd like his usual and brings over a Budweiser.
His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and says, 'How did she know that you drink Budweiser?'
'I recognize her, she's the waitress from the golf club.
I always have a Bud at the end of the 1st nine, honey.'
A stripper then comes over to their table, throws her arms around Bob, starts to rub herself all over him and says,
'Hi Bobby. Want your usual table dance, big boy?'
Bob's wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club.
Bob follows and spots her getting into a cab.
Before she can slam the door, he jumps in beside her.
Bob tries desperately to explain how the stripper must have mistaken him for someone else, but his wife is having none of it .
She is screaming at him at the top of her lungs, calling him every 4 letter word in the book.
The cabby turns around and says,
'Geez Bob, you picked up a real bitch this time.'
BOB's funeral will be on Friday.
Saturday, February 14, 2009
A cabbie picks up a Nun.
From My InBox:
A cabbie picks up a Nun.
She gets into the cab, and notices that the VERY handsome cab driver won't stop staring at her.
She asks him why he is staring.
He replies: "I have a question to ask you but I don't want to offend you."
She answers, "My son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I'm sure that there's nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive."
"Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me." Said the cabbie
She responds, "Well, let's see what we can do about that: #1, you have to be single and #2, you must be Catholic."
The cab driver is very excited and says, "Yes, I'm single and Catholic!"
"OK" the nun says. "Pull into the next alley."
The nun fulfills his fantasy, with a kiss that would make a hooker blush.
But when they get back on the road, the cab driv er starts crying.
"My dear child," says the nun, "why are you crying?"
"Forgive me but I've sinned. I lied and I must confess, I'm married and I'm Jewish."
The nun says, "That's OK. My name is Kevin and I'm going to a Halloween party
A cabbie picks up a Nun.
She gets into the cab, and notices that the VERY handsome cab driver won't stop staring at her.
She asks him why he is staring.
He replies: "I have a question to ask you but I don't want to offend you."
She answers, "My son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I'm sure that there's nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive."
"Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me." Said the cabbie
She responds, "Well, let's see what we can do about that: #1, you have to be single and #2, you must be Catholic."
The cab driver is very excited and says, "Yes, I'm single and Catholic!"
"OK" the nun says. "Pull into the next alley."
The nun fulfills his fantasy, with a kiss that would make a hooker blush.
But when they get back on the road, the cab driv er starts crying.
"My dear child," says the nun, "why are you crying?"
"Forgive me but I've sinned. I lied and I must confess, I'm married and I'm Jewish."
The nun says, "That's OK. My name is Kevin and I'm going to a Halloween party
What's showing near you?
I have been making tickets reservation for TGV movie by telephone for a while now and I find that very convenient. You are assured of the number of seats you need and you don't have to queue up in a long line to collect them. Moreover, my chances of getting seats of my preference which is at the back of the cinema is good.
First, you can online to check and note what movies are on and if your children are of age to view them with you. You can also read reviews of movies at cinemas of your preference.
First, you can online to check and note what movies are on and if your children are of age to view them with you. You can also read reviews of movies at cinemas of your preference.
Friday, February 13, 2009
Prize Winning Ads
Ronald at Burger King? How would McDonald fight back?
==============================================================
From My InBox:
==============================================================
From My InBox:
Prize Winning Ads
View more presentations from ronaldl.
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Let's make it a "White Loincloth Campaign"!
When demeaning actions is followed by demeaning reactions, who is teaching who? Learn from those you honour not abhor. Here is a reminder from Avalok in his follow up to The Pink Chaddi Campaign.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
THE MALAYSIAN IN LONDON
From My InBox:
Johan, a 'young' Malaysian tourist on his first visit to London, locates
the red light district and enters a large brothel. The madam asks him to
be seated and sends over a young lady to entertain the client. They sit and
talk, frolic a little, giggle a bit, drink a bit, and she sits on his
lap.
He whispers in her ear and she gasps and runs away!
Seeing this, the madam sends over a more experienced lady to entertain
the gentleman. They sit and talk, frolic a little, giggle a bit, drink a
bit, and she sits on his lap. He whispers in her ear and she screams, "No!"
and walks away quickly.
The madam is surprised that this ordinary-looking man has asked for
something so outrageous that her two girls will have nothing to do with
it.
She decides that only her most experienced lady, Lola, will do. Lola
looks a bit tired, but she has never said no and it doesn't seem likely that
anything would surprise her. So the madam sends her over to Johan...
They sit and talk, frolic a little, ! giggle a bit, drink a bit, and she sits on
his lap. He whispers in her ear and she screams, "NO WAY, BUDDY!", smacks
him as hard as she can, and literally runs away too!
Madam is by now absolutely intrigued, having seen nothing like this in
all her years of operating a brothel. She hasn't done the bedroom work
herself for a long time, but she did it for many years before she got into
management. She's sure she has said yes at one time or another to
everything a man could possibly ask for. The challenge is irresistible.
She just has to find out what this man wants that has made her girls so
angry. And she sees a chance she can't pass up to show off to her employees how
good she was at what they do.
So she goes over to Johan and says that she's the best in the house and
she, herself, is available. She sits and talks with him. They frolic a
bit, giggle a bit, drink a little, and she sits in his lap. And then Johan
leans forward and whispers! in her ear, ..........
scroll down
"Can I pay in Malaysian Ringgit?"
Johan, a 'young' Malaysian tourist on his first visit to London, locates
the red light district and enters a large brothel. The madam asks him to
be seated and sends over a young lady to entertain the client. They sit and
talk, frolic a little, giggle a bit, drink a bit, and she sits on his
lap.
He whispers in her ear and she gasps and runs away!
Seeing this, the madam sends over a more experienced lady to entertain
the gentleman. They sit and talk, frolic a little, giggle a bit, drink a
bit, and she sits on his lap. He whispers in her ear and she screams, "No!"
and walks away quickly.
The madam is surprised that this ordinary-looking man has asked for
something so outrageous that her two girls will have nothing to do with
it.
She decides that only her most experienced lady, Lola, will do. Lola
looks a bit tired, but she has never said no and it doesn't seem likely that
anything would surprise her. So the madam sends her over to Johan...
They sit and talk, frolic a little, ! giggle a bit, drink a bit, and she sits on
his lap. He whispers in her ear and she screams, "NO WAY, BUDDY!", smacks
him as hard as she can, and literally runs away too!
Madam is by now absolutely intrigued, having seen nothing like this in
all her years of operating a brothel. She hasn't done the bedroom work
herself for a long time, but she did it for many years before she got into
management. She's sure she has said yes at one time or another to
everything a man could possibly ask for. The challenge is irresistible.
She just has to find out what this man wants that has made her girls so
angry. And she sees a chance she can't pass up to show off to her employees how
good she was at what they do.
So she goes over to Johan and says that she's the best in the house and
she, herself, is available. She sits and talks with him. They frolic a
bit, giggle a bit, drink a little, and she sits in his lap. And then Johan
leans forward and whispers! in her ear, ..........
scroll down
"Can I pay in Malaysian Ringgit?"
The Crash Compilation by Yigal Giat
Have you ever wondered why men laughed watching wrestling? Recently, I discovered that that it's because all men enjoy watching other men being hurt. What a relieve to know that my husband is normal after all.
While men will laugh watching the following video, the women will likely be clinching as they recall similar incidents that have occurred to their love ones. Why? Who do you think took care of the injured boys?
Don't miss this video. I think the ape pushing the other is so humanly funny.
==============================================================================
From My InBox:
While men will laugh watching the following video, the women will likely be clinching as they recall similar incidents that have occurred to their love ones. Why? Who do you think took care of the injured boys?
Don't miss this video. I think the ape pushing the other is so humanly funny.
==============================================================================
From My InBox:
'Gettin' old'
From My InBox:
Two elderly women were eating breakfast in a restaurant one morning. Ethel noticed something funny about Mabel's ear and she said, ''Mabel, do you know you've got a suppository in your left ear?'
Mabel answered, 'I have a suppository in my ear?'
She pulled it out and stared at it. Then she said, 'Ethel, I'm glad you saw this thing.. Now I think I know where to find my hearing aid.'
=================================
When the husband finally died his wife put the usual death notice in the paper, but added that he died of gonorrhea. No sooner were the papers delivered when a friend of the family phoned and complained bitterly, 'You know very well that he died of diarrhea, not gonorrhea.'
Replied the widow, 'I nursed him night and day so of course I know he died of diarrhea, but I thought it would be better for posterity to remember him as a great lover rather than the big shit he always was.'
==================================
An elderly couple were on a cruise and it was really stormy. They were standing on the back of the boat watching the moon, when a wave came up and washed the old woman overboard. They searched for days and couldn't find her, so the captain sent the old man back to shore with the promise that he would notify him as soon as they found something. Three weeks went by and finally the old man got a fax from the boat. It read: 'Sir, sorry to inform you, we found your wife dead at the bottom of the ocean We hauled her up to the deck and attached to her butt was an oyster and in it was a pearl worth $50,000 . . please advise.'
The old man faxed back: 'Send me the pearl and re-bait the trap.'
======================================
A funeral service is being held for a woman who has just passed away. At the end of the service, the pall bearers are carrying the casket out when they accidentally bump into a wall, jarring the casket. They hear a faint moan. They open the casket and find that the woman is actually alive! She lives for ten more years, and then dies. Once again, a ceremony is held, and at the end of it, the pall bearers are again carrying out the casket. As they carry the casket towards the door, the husband cries out, 'Watch that wall!'
==============================================
When I went to lunch today, I noticed an old lady sitting on a park bench sobbing her eyes out. I stopped and asked her what was wrong. She said, 'I have a 22 year old husband at home. He makes love to me every morning and then gets up and makes me pancakes, sausage, fresh fruit and freshly ground coffee.'
I said, 'Well, then why are you crying?'
She said, 'He makes me homemade soup for lunch and my favorite brownies and then makes love to me for half the afternoon.'
I said, 'Well, why are you crying?'
She said, 'For dinner he makes me a gourmet meal with wine and my favorite dessert and then makes love to me until 2:00 a.m. '
I said, 'Well, why in the world would you be crying?'
She said, 'I can't remember where I live!'
======================================================
Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards.
One day they were playing cards when one looked at the other and said, 'Now don't get mad at me. I know we've been friends for a long time......but I just can't think of your name! I've thought and thought, but I can't remember it. Please tell me what your name is.'
Her friend glared at her. For at least three minutes she just stared and glared at her. Finally she said, 'How soon do you need to know?'
==============================================
THE SENILITY PRAYER
Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway,
the good fortune to run into the ones I do,
and the eyesight to tell the difference.
Two elderly women were eating breakfast in a restaurant one morning. Ethel noticed something funny about Mabel's ear and she said, ''Mabel, do you know you've got a suppository in your left ear?'
Mabel answered, 'I have a suppository in my ear?'
She pulled it out and stared at it. Then she said, 'Ethel, I'm glad you saw this thing.. Now I think I know where to find my hearing aid.'
=================================
When the husband finally died his wife put the usual death notice in the paper, but added that he died of gonorrhea. No sooner were the papers delivered when a friend of the family phoned and complained bitterly, 'You know very well that he died of diarrhea, not gonorrhea.'
Replied the widow, 'I nursed him night and day so of course I know he died of diarrhea, but I thought it would be better for posterity to remember him as a great lover rather than the big shit he always was.'
==================================
An elderly couple were on a cruise and it was really stormy. They were standing on the back of the boat watching the moon, when a wave came up and washed the old woman overboard. They searched for days and couldn't find her, so the captain sent the old man back to shore with the promise that he would notify him as soon as they found something. Three weeks went by and finally the old man got a fax from the boat. It read: 'Sir, sorry to inform you, we found your wife dead at the bottom of the ocean We hauled her up to the deck and attached to her butt was an oyster and in it was a pearl worth $50,000 . . please advise.'
The old man faxed back: 'Send me the pearl and re-bait the trap.'
======================================
A funeral service is being held for a woman who has just passed away. At the end of the service, the pall bearers are carrying the casket out when they accidentally bump into a wall, jarring the casket. They hear a faint moan. They open the casket and find that the woman is actually alive! She lives for ten more years, and then dies. Once again, a ceremony is held, and at the end of it, the pall bearers are again carrying out the casket. As they carry the casket towards the door, the husband cries out, 'Watch that wall!'
==============================================
When I went to lunch today, I noticed an old lady sitting on a park bench sobbing her eyes out. I stopped and asked her what was wrong. She said, 'I have a 22 year old husband at home. He makes love to me every morning and then gets up and makes me pancakes, sausage, fresh fruit and freshly ground coffee.'
I said, 'Well, then why are you crying?'
She said, 'He makes me homemade soup for lunch and my favorite brownies and then makes love to me for half the afternoon.'
I said, 'Well, why are you crying?'
She said, 'For dinner he makes me a gourmet meal with wine and my favorite dessert and then makes love to me until 2:00 a.m. '
I said, 'Well, why in the world would you be crying?'
She said, 'I can't remember where I live!'
======================================================
Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards.
One day they were playing cards when one looked at the other and said, 'Now don't get mad at me. I know we've been friends for a long time......but I just can't think of your name! I've thought and thought, but I can't remember it. Please tell me what your name is.'
Her friend glared at her. For at least three minutes she just stared and glared at her. Finally she said, 'How soon do you need to know?'
==============================================
THE SENILITY PRAYER
Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway,
the good fortune to run into the ones I do,
and the eyesight to tell the difference.
Monday, February 9, 2009
The Pinkchaddi Campaign
There is a call for pink undies to be sent to members of Shri Ram Sena, who have been chasing women out of pubs before and beating them up. The principal behind this action is to "teach" women who dressed and behaved indecently in pubs.
Take a look at the video posted on the slideshow by Avalok to check out the immoral activities in the pubs.
Now who did you see behaving immorally in the video?
If you are in India and plan on celebrating Valentine Day with your love ones, be warned that members of Shri Ram Sena will be disrupting your romance. It's no wonder that Avalok is working on "The Pinkchaddi Campaign", a call to collect pink undies to be sent to the men of Shri Ram Sena.
Wait a minute, Avalok! Perverts from Shri Ram Sena may relish receiving them. Best to send them white ones in the largest size and soiled, of course!
Good luck in your efforts.
Take a look at the video posted on the slideshow by Avalok to check out the immoral activities in the pubs.
Now who did you see behaving immorally in the video?
If you are in India and plan on celebrating Valentine Day with your love ones, be warned that members of Shri Ram Sena will be disrupting your romance. It's no wonder that Avalok is working on "The Pinkchaddi Campaign", a call to collect pink undies to be sent to the men of Shri Ram Sena.
Wait a minute, Avalok! Perverts from Shri Ram Sena may relish receiving them. Best to send them white ones in the largest size and soiled, of course!
Good luck in your efforts.
Friday, February 6, 2009
THE OLDER CROWD
From My InBox:
A distraught senior citizen phoned her Doctor's' office..
"Is it true," she wanted to know, "that the Medication you
prescribed has to be taken for the rest of my life?"
"Yes, I'm afraid so," the doctor told her.
There was a moment of silence before the senior lady
replied,"I'm wondering, then, just how serious is my
condition because this Prescription is marked 'NO REFILLS'."
***********************
An older gentleman was on the operating table awaiting
surgery and he insisted that his son, a renowned surgeon,
perform the operation.
As he was about to get the anesthesia, he asked to
speak to his son.
"Yes, Dad, what is it? "
"Don't be nervous, son; do your best and just remember,
if it doesn't go well, if something happens to me,
your mother is going to come and live with you and your wife...."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying
about your age and start Bragging about it..
---------------------------------
The older we get, the fewer things seem
worth waiting in line for.
---------------------------------
Some people try to turn back their odometers.
Not me! I want people to know "why"
I look this way.
I've traveled a long way and some of the
roads weren't paved.
********************
When you are dissatisfied and would
like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You know you are getting old when
everything either dries up or leaks.
-------------------------------
One of the many things no one tells you about aging
is that it is such a nice change from being young.
<><><><><><><><><>
Ah, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.
<><><><><><><><><>
First you forget names, then you forget faces. Then you
forget to pull up your zipper.
It's worse when you forget to pull i t down.
---------------------------------
Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground
with sticks, it was called witchcraft...
Today, it's called golf.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two old guys are pushing their carts around
Wal-Mart when they collide. The first old guy
says to the second guy, "Sorry about that. I'm
looking for my wife, and I guess I wasn't paying
attention to where I was going."
The second old guy says, "That's OK, it's a
coincidence. I'm looking for my wife, too. I
can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate."
The first old guy says, "Well, maybe I can help
you find her. What does she look like?" The
second old guy says, "Well, she is 27 yrs old, tall,
with red hair, blue eyes, long legs, and is wearing
short shorts. What does your wife look like?"
To which the first old guy says, "Doesn't matter, --- let's
look for yours."
A distraught senior citizen phoned her Doctor's' office..
"Is it true," she wanted to know, "that the Medication you
prescribed has to be taken for the rest of my life?"
"Yes, I'm afraid so," the doctor told her.
There was a moment of silence before the senior lady
replied,"I'm wondering, then, just how serious is my
condition because this Prescription is marked 'NO REFILLS'."
***********************
An older gentleman was on the operating table awaiting
surgery and he insisted that his son, a renowned surgeon,
perform the operation.
As he was about to get the anesthesia, he asked to
speak to his son.
"Yes, Dad, what is it? "
"Don't be nervous, son; do your best and just remember,
if it doesn't go well, if something happens to me,
your mother is going to come and live with you and your wife...."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying
about your age and start Bragging about it..
---------------------------------
The older we get, the fewer things seem
worth waiting in line for.
---------------------------------
Some people try to turn back their odometers.
Not me! I want people to know "why"
I look this way.
I've traveled a long way and some of the
roads weren't paved.
********************
When you are dissatisfied and would
like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You know you are getting old when
everything either dries up or leaks.
-------------------------------
One of the many things no one tells you about aging
is that it is such a nice change from being young.
<><><><><><><><><>
Ah, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.
<><><><><><><><><>
First you forget names, then you forget faces. Then you
forget to pull up your zipper.
It's worse when you forget to pull i t down.
---------------------------------
Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground
with sticks, it was called witchcraft...
Today, it's called golf.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two old guys are pushing their carts around
Wal-Mart when they collide. The first old guy
says to the second guy, "Sorry about that. I'm
looking for my wife, and I guess I wasn't paying
attention to where I was going."
The second old guy says, "That's OK, it's a
coincidence. I'm looking for my wife, too. I
can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate."
The first old guy says, "Well, maybe I can help
you find her. What does she look like?" The
second old guy says, "Well, she is 27 yrs old, tall,
with red hair, blue eyes, long legs, and is wearing
short shorts. What does your wife look like?"
To which the first old guy says, "Doesn't matter, --- let's
look for yours."
Cell phone guns
From My InBox:
Most see airport security as a pain. Some feel violated.
When you watch this clip, you'll understand why they want your cell phone through the x-ray machine.
If you get asked to test your cell phone at the airport, this is the reason.
Cell phone guns have arrived. They are real.
The attached video clip shows how cell phone guns operate.
These phones are not in the U.S. yet, but they are in use overseas.
Beneath the digital phone face is a .22 caliber handgun, capable of firing four rounds in rapid succession
using the standard telephone keypad. European law enforcement officials are stunned by the discovery
of these deadly decoys. They say phone guns are changing the rules of engagement in Europe .
Only when you have one in your hand do you realize that they are heavier than a regular cell phone.
Be patient if security asks to look at your cell phone or turn it on to show that it works. They have a good reason!
Most see airport security as a pain. Some feel violated.
When you watch this clip, you'll understand why they want your cell phone through the x-ray machine.
If you get asked to test your cell phone at the airport, this is the reason.
Cell phone guns have arrived. They are real.
The attached video clip shows how cell phone guns operate.
These phones are not in the U.S. yet, but they are in use overseas.
Beneath the digital phone face is a .22 caliber handgun, capable of firing four rounds in rapid succession
using the standard telephone keypad. European law enforcement officials are stunned by the discovery
of these deadly decoys. They say phone guns are changing the rules of engagement in Europe .
Only when you have one in your hand do you realize that they are heavier than a regular cell phone.
Be patient if security asks to look at your cell phone or turn it on to show that it works. They have a good reason!
MEN ARE JUST HAPPIER PEOPLE
From My InBox:
> > NICKNAMES
> >
> > * If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
> > * If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.
> >
> > EATING OUT
> >
> > * When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
> > * When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
> >
> > MONEY
> >
> > * A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
> > * A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.
> >
> > BATHROOMS
> >
> > * A man has seven items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, deodorant and a towel .
> > * The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.
> >
> > ARGUMENTS
> >
> > * A woman has the last word in any argument.
> > * Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
> >
> > FUTURE
> >
> > * A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
> > * A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
> >
> > SUCCESS
> >
> > * A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
> > * A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
> >
> > MARRIAGE
> >
> > * A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
> > * A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.
> >
> > DRESSING UP
> >
> > * A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
> > * A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
> >
> > NATURAL
> >
> > * Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
> > * Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
> >
> > OFFSPRING
> >
> > * Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
> > * A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
> >
> > THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
> > A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!
(1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
(2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
(3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.
(4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!
(5) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)
(6) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
(7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome' .. that will bring on a 'whatever').
(8) Whatever: Is a woman's way of saying F-- YOU!
(9) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to # 3.
* Send this to the men you know, to warn them about arguments they can avoid if they remember the terminology.
* Send this to all the women you know to give them a good laugh, cause they know it's true!!!
> > NICKNAMES
> >
> > * If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
> > * If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.
> >
> > EATING OUT
> >
> > * When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
> > * When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
> >
> > MONEY
> >
> > * A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
> > * A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.
> >
> > BATHROOMS
> >
> > * A man has seven items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, deodorant and a towel .
> > * The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.
> >
> > ARGUMENTS
> >
> > * A woman has the last word in any argument.
> > * Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
> >
> > FUTURE
> >
> > * A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
> > * A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
> >
> > SUCCESS
> >
> > * A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
> > * A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
> >
> > MARRIAGE
> >
> > * A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
> > * A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.
> >
> > DRESSING UP
> >
> > * A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
> > * A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
> >
> > NATURAL
> >
> > * Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
> > * Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
> >
> > OFFSPRING
> >
> > * Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
> > * A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
> >
> > THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
> > A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!
(1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
(2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
(3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.
(4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!
(5) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)
(6) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
(7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome' .. that will bring on a 'whatever').
(8) Whatever: Is a woman's way of saying F-- YOU!
(9) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to # 3.
* Send this to the men you know, to warn them about arguments they can avoid if they remember the terminology.
* Send this to all the women you know to give them a good laugh, cause they know it's true!!!
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Good morning.....
From My InBox:
But be closer with someone who can't be happy without you
Have A Gorgeous Day!!
I Just Love to Hear IT !!!
From My InBox:
A guy phones up his Boss, but gets the bosses' wife instead:
"I'm afraid he died last week." she explains.
The next day the man calls again and asks for the boss.
"I told you" the wife replies, "he died last week."
The next day he calls again and once more asks to speak to his boss. By this time the wife is getting upset and shouts:
"I'VE ALREADY TOLD YOU TWICE, MY HUSBAND, YOUR BOSS, DIED LAST WEEK! WHY DO YOU KEEP CALLING?"
. . . . . . . . . . .
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..
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he replied laughing,"Coz . . ." "I just love hearing it. . . ."
A guy phones up his Boss, but gets the bosses' wife instead:
"I'm afraid he died last week." she explains.
The next day the man calls again and asks for the boss.
"I told you" the wife replies, "he died last week."
The next day he calls again and once more asks to speak to his boss. By this time the wife is getting upset and shouts:
"I'VE ALREADY TOLD YOU TWICE, MY HUSBAND, YOUR BOSS, DIED LAST WEEK! WHY DO YOU KEEP CALLING?"
. . . . . . . . . . .
.
.
.
.
.
.
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..
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he replied laughing,"Coz . . ." "I just love hearing it. . . ."
Your payment notification (Scam)
From My InBox:
--- On Mon, 1/19/09, FedEx Shipment Notification
<ukdeliveryoffice@fedex.com> wrote:
--- On Mon, 1/19/09, FedEx Shipment Notification
<ukdeliveryoffice@fedex.com> wrote:
From: FedEx Shipment Notification <ukdeliveryoffice@fedex.com>
Subject: Your payment notification
To:
Date: Monday, January 19, 2009, 4:57 AM
FedEx(R)
UK
Tel: +44203-287-7635
Attention: Beneficiary:
YOUR PAYMENT NOTIFICATION.
This is to notify you that your parcel is still in the possession of
our shipping department in UK under our subsidiary "World-Tropic
Courier Services", this parcel contains an International Cashier Bank
Draft/Cheque worth the sum of U.S$800.000.00 (Eight Hundred Thousand
U.S Dollars) only and it is ready for delivery to your door step.
Meanwhile, before the delivery or shipment will take place, you are
advice to send to them the following details below for reconfirmation.
Fill this Form:
Name:
Address:
City:
State:
Postal Code:
Country:
Contact Phone Number:
The above requested information's will enable them deliver your parcel
correctly without any mistake or delivering your parcel to a wrong
person. Furthermore, you might be asking yourself how come this email,
cheque or draft. Anyway, your cheque was brought to the UK office by a
Lottery Fiduciary Agent/Claim
Agent, signifying that you are a rightful winner to their Lottery
Award selected randomly from 10 lucky email addresses which your email
address is one of the lucky email address.
FedEx Courier Service Company mailing you as per your parcel that was
brought to our subsidiary courier company "World-Tropic Courier
Services" to be delivered to you by lottery groups, along the delivery
process that brought a misunderstanding between you and the lottery
claim agent and in regards of their request as per their insurance
certificate cost and tax fee which happened to be the course of your
parcel being pending for the past months/one year.
Meanwhile we are hereby happy to inform you that FedEx Company has
finalized everything with the British Insurance Commission (B.I.C) and
the Internal Revenue office as the company has also listed 24 valuable
parcel's to be intact in their office after the released of the
parcel's from the insurance company and internal revenue office.
We are happy to inform you once again that your parcel that contains
the sum of U.S$800.000.00 (Eight Hundred Thousand U.S Dollars) is
among the 24 parcel's listed which is now in our office in UK and also
with your name as the receiver despite that we lost your private
residential address's, which is an indication that you can now re-send
your residential address, telephone as stated above back to our
subsidiary courier company where your parcel can be delivered to you.
You are to send this details and replies to:
NAME: MR. TERRY O'CONNOR
EMAIL ADDRESS: delivery.parcel@fedextropic-courier.com
PHONE NUMBER: +44203-287-7635
Meanwhile remember that the sender of this parcel to you that the
fiduciary agent still owes this company the sum of Ј150.00 (One
Hundred & Fifty British Pounds) before the incident occurred, note
that this company has spend out of their incomes in the process by
recovery back your parcel's dear customer we once again appreciate
your patronage in our favor. That's the only money you are to pay.
Without hesitations you are to pay for just the balance left by your
sender via western union and Money Gram so that your parcel can be
delivered to your residential address before it accumulate a demurrage
after one week only, as you know your parcel is not just an ordinary
parcel but with a huge amount and I think you understand what I mean
by accumulating a demurrage? Which you will not allow to happen to
your recovery parcel that almost gone.
We assure you that your parcel will arrive at your doorstep within
48hours as soon as this company receives the balance left by your
sender and the tracking number of your parcel will be sent to you via
e-mail immediately so that you can start tracking your parcel until it
arrives your address/door step.
And also the FedEx Courier Service Company is hereby to inform all
their customers by eradicating all their communication with the scam
mails that are going all-over the world be careful with their e-mails
so that your parcel will not be in danger with their evil plans.
FedEx and World-Tropic Couriers provides access to a growing global
market place through a network of supply chain, transportation,
business and related information Services.
You are to make the payment of the Ј150.00 (One Hundred & Fifty
British Pounds) to the details below through Western Union or Money
Gram.
PAYMENT INFORMATION:
RECEIVERS NAME------ MR. DONALD BLAKE
RECEIVER'S ADDRESS: 24 TOOTING ROAD
RECEIVER'S CITY: LONDON
RECEIVER'S ZIP CODE: BNQ 7N4
RECEIVERS COUNTRY----UNITED KINGDOM
AMOUNT TO BE PAID---------Ј150.00 (One Hundred & Fifty British Pounds)
Please you have to send the full payment information including the
MTCN Number for we to fully proceed on your delivery asap. After you
make the payment, email back the details below:
1. SENDER'S NAME
2. 10 DIGITS MONEY TRANSFER CONTROL NUMBER (MTCN) Or IF you SEND VIA
MONEYGRAM, THEN SEND 8 DIGITS REFERENCE NUMBER.
FedEx and World-Tropic International is one of the world's great
success stories, the start-up that revolutionized the delivery of
packages and information. In the past 30 years, we've grown up and
grown into a diverse family of companies -a FedEx that's bigger,
stronger, better than ever.
Mr. David B. Peters
For: FedEx - World-Tropic Courier Services International
Processing/Notification Officer:
Food for Thought for the week...
From My InBox:
I am not a Christian, but I do share the view with regards to God and I believe in doing good in spite of my having not committed to any religion yet .........
HAVE A NICE THOUGHT!!
I am not a Christian, but I do share the view with regards to God and I believe in doing good in spite of my having not committed to any religion yet .........
HAVE A NICE THOUGHT!!
GPS (IMPORTANT) - PLEASE READ !!!
From My InBox:
The following two stories appear to be true. Even if they are made up by someone, these instances can happen. So be alert!!
This gives us something to think about with all our new electronic technology.
GPS
A couple of weeks ago a friend told me that someone she knew had their car broken into while they were at a football match. Their car was parked on the green which was adjacent to the football stadium and specially allotted to football fans. Things stolen from the car included a garage door remote control, some money and a GPS which had been prominently mounted on the dashboard.
When the victims got home, they found that their house had been ransacked and just about everything worth anything had been stolen.
The thieves had used the GPS to guide them to the house. They then used the garage remote control to open the garage door and gain entry to the house. The thieves knew the owners were at the football game, they knew what time the game was scheduled to finish and so they knew how much time they had to clean up the house. It would appear that they had brought a truck to empty the house of its contents.
MOBILE PHONE
I never thought of this....... This lady has now changed her habit of how she lists her names on her mobile phone after her handbag was stolen. Her handbag, which contained her cell phone, credit card, wallet...etc... Was stolen.
20 minutes later when she called her hubby, from a pay phone telling him what had happened, hubby says 'I received your text Asking about our Pin number and I've replied a little while ago.'
When they rushed down to the bank, the bank staff told them all the money was already withdrawn. The thief had actually used the stolen cell phone to text 'hubby' in the contact list and got hold of the pin number. Within 20 minutes he had withdrawn all the money from their bank account.
Moral of the lesson:
Do not disclose the relationship between you and the people in your contact list. Avoid using names like Home, Honey, Hubby, Sweetheart, Dad, Mom, etc.... And very importantly, when sensitive info is being asked through texts, CONFIRM by calling back. Also, when you're being text by friends or family to meet them somewhere, be sure to call back to confirm that the message came from them. If you don't reach them, be very careful about going places to meet 'family and friends' who text you.
*PLEASE PASS THIS ON * I never thought about THAT! As of now, I no longer have 'home' listed on my cell phone.
The following two stories appear to be true. Even if they are made up by someone, these instances can happen. So be alert!!
This gives us something to think about with all our new electronic technology.
GPS
A couple of weeks ago a friend told me that someone she knew had their car broken into while they were at a football match. Their car was parked on the green which was adjacent to the football stadium and specially allotted to football fans. Things stolen from the car included a garage door remote control, some money and a GPS which had been prominently mounted on the dashboard.
When the victims got home, they found that their house had been ransacked and just about everything worth anything had been stolen.
The thieves had used the GPS to guide them to the house. They then used the garage remote control to open the garage door and gain entry to the house. The thieves knew the owners were at the football game, they knew what time the game was scheduled to finish and so they knew how much time they had to clean up the house. It would appear that they had brought a truck to empty the house of its contents.
MOBILE PHONE
I never thought of this....... This lady has now changed her habit of how she lists her names on her mobile phone after her handbag was stolen. Her handbag, which contained her cell phone, credit card, wallet...etc... Was stolen.
20 minutes later when she called her hubby, from a pay phone telling him what had happened, hubby says 'I received your text Asking about our Pin number and I've replied a little while ago.'
When they rushed down to the bank, the bank staff told them all the money was already withdrawn. The thief had actually used the stolen cell phone to text 'hubby' in the contact list and got hold of the pin number. Within 20 minutes he had withdrawn all the money from their bank account.
Moral of the lesson:
Do not disclose the relationship between you and the people in your contact list. Avoid using names like Home, Honey, Hubby, Sweetheart, Dad, Mom, etc.... And very importantly, when sensitive info is being asked through texts, CONFIRM by calling back. Also, when you're being text by friends or family to meet them somewhere, be sure to call back to confirm that the message came from them. If you don't reach them, be very careful about going places to meet 'family and friends' who text you.
*PLEASE PASS THIS ON * I never thought about THAT! As of now, I no longer have 'home' listed on my cell phone.
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Are you an animal lover cum murderer?
There are many people who love animals even though they do not keep them at home as their pets. These lovers are likely to leave their leftovers usually in their backyard so that strays in their neighbourhood will not go without food. What they are not aware of is that they are causing more harm to these strays and the environment.
How you do spot where these "kind" souls live? Just take a walk in your backyard or neighbourhood, sniff and look out for these signs.
Can you imagine how much bacteria have accumulated in this spot?
It is obvious that there is lots of poo and pee activities in this area.
These are dried up droppings on a ledge right under one of my neighbour's kitchen window. I wonder how she could tolerate the stench while she is cooking? I can smell it too even though I am a door away.
I used to take my children out for walks along the back lane of my house. They were expeditions to collect ferns and plants growing out from the walls of the drains behind the house. As you can see it is no longer safe to do that.
If you spot your neighbours being kind again, please do strays a favour by showing them this slideshow.
If you love animals or are a pet owner, please do it right or you may unknowingly become a cause for someone to take unbecoming actions against animals that have become pests in their neighbourhood.
You decide if that makes you an accomplice or a murderer if an animal is killed in the process. Also think about environment that is being polluted and the likelihood of water borne diseases spreading.
How you do spot where these "kind" souls live? Just take a walk in your backyard or neighbourhood, sniff and look out for these signs.
Can you imagine how much bacteria have accumulated in this spot?
It is obvious that there is lots of poo and pee activities in this area.
These are dried up droppings on a ledge right under one of my neighbour's kitchen window. I wonder how she could tolerate the stench while she is cooking? I can smell it too even though I am a door away.
I used to take my children out for walks along the back lane of my house. They were expeditions to collect ferns and plants growing out from the walls of the drains behind the house. As you can see it is no longer safe to do that.
If you spot your neighbours being kind again, please do strays a favour by showing them this slideshow.
If you love animals or are a pet owner, please do it right or you may unknowingly become a cause for someone to take unbecoming actions against animals that have become pests in their neighbourhood.
You decide if that makes you an accomplice or a murderer if an animal is killed in the process. Also think about environment that is being polluted and the likelihood of water borne diseases spreading.
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Too old and can't.?
When you are feeling too old and think you can't, watch this video.
=======================================================================
My InBox:
She is 80. If she can so can you. Anything goes.
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My InBox:
She is 80. If she can so can you. Anything goes.
Acts 2:38!
From My InBox:
A woman had just returned to her home from an evening of church
services, when she was startled by an intruder. She caught the man in the
act of robbing her home of its valuables and yelled: 'Stop! Acts 2:38!'
(Repent and be Baptized, in the name of Jesus Christ, so that your sins
may be forgiven.)
The burglar stopped in his tracks. The woman calmly called the police and
explained what she had done.
As the officer cuffed the man to take him in, he asked the burglar: 'Why
did you just stand there? All the old lady did was yell a scripture to
you.'
'Scripture?' replied the burglar. 'She said she had an Ax and Two 38s!'
Send this to someone who needs a laugh today and remember: Knowing
scripture can save your life - in more ways than one!
A woman had just returned to her home from an evening of church
services, when she was startled by an intruder. She caught the man in the
act of robbing her home of its valuables and yelled: 'Stop! Acts 2:38!'
(Repent and be Baptized, in the name of Jesus Christ, so that your sins
may be forgiven.)
The burglar stopped in his tracks. The woman calmly called the police and
explained what she had done.
As the officer cuffed the man to take him in, he asked the burglar: 'Why
did you just stand there? All the old lady did was yell a scripture to
you.'
'Scripture?' replied the burglar. 'She said she had an Ax and Two 38s!'
Send this to someone who needs a laugh today and remember: Knowing
scripture can save your life - in more ways than one!
Poems found in toilets
From My InBox:
THE "FUTURE" IS IN YOUR HAND , HOLD IT GENTLY"
Excellent poems by not so famous poets... found on toilet doors and
walls.......
...
A budding poet trying his best...
Here I lie in stinky vapor,
Because some bastard stole the toilet paper,
Shall I lie, or shall I linger,
Or shall I be forced to use my finger.
Before he graduated to be a poet, he wrote this...
Here I sit
Broken hearted
Tried to shit
But only farted
Someone who had a different experience wrote,
You're lucky
You had your chance
I tried to fart,
And shit my pants!
Perhaps it's true that people find inspiration in
toilets.
I came here
To shit and stink,
But all I do
Is sit and think.
There are also people who come in for a different
purpose...
Some come here to sit and think,
Some come here to shit and stink,
But I come
here to scratch my balls ,
And read the bullshit on the walls...
Toilets walls also double as job advertisement
space.......
(written high upon the wall)
If you can piss above this line, the Singapore Fire Department wants you.
Ministry of Environment advertisement.
We aim to please!
You aim too! Please
On the inside of a toilet door:
Patrons are requested to remain seated throughout the entire performance.
And finally, this should teach some a lesson...
Sign seen at a restaurant:
The hands that clean these toilets also make your food...please aim
properly.
THE "FUTURE" IS IN YOUR HAND , HOLD IT GENTLY"
Excellent poems by not so famous poets... found on toilet doors and
walls.......
...
A budding poet trying his best...
Here I lie in stinky vapor,
Because some bastard stole the toilet paper,
Shall I lie, or shall I linger,
Or shall I be forced to use my finger.
Before he graduated to be a poet, he wrote this...
Here I sit
Broken hearted
Tried to shit
But only farted
Someone who had a different experience wrote,
You're lucky
You had your chance
I tried to fart,
And shit my pants!
Perhaps it's true that people find inspiration in
toilets.
I came here
To shit and stink,
But all I do
Is sit and think.
There are also people who come in for a different
purpose...
Some come here to sit and think,
Some come here to shit and stink,
But I come
here to scratch my balls ,
And read the bullshit on the walls...
Toilets walls also double as job advertisement
space.......
(written high upon the wall)
If you can piss above this line, the Singapore Fire Department wants you.
Ministry of Environment advertisement.
We aim to please!
You aim too! Please
On the inside of a toilet door:
Patrons are requested to remain seated throughout the entire performance.
And finally, this should teach some a lesson...
Sign seen at a restaurant:
The hands that clean these toilets also make your food...please aim
properly.
GONG-XI-FA-CAI
I have not seen the fruit in this picture for a long, long time. I used to eat them preserved in sugar solution.
=========================================================================
From My InBox:
=========================================================================
From My InBox:
Monday, February 2, 2009
The Ten Commandments
From My InBox:
*James had never been to the church all his life. But he showed up one
Sunday. *
* *
**
* *
* *
*After Mass, the priest caught him and said "James, I am so glad you
decided
to come to Mass, what made you come?"*
*
James said, "I got to be honest with you Father. A while back, I
misplaced
my hat and I really, really love that hat.*
*
*
*
I know that Shaun had one just like mine and I knew that Shaun came to
church every Sunday.
*
**
* *
*I know Shaun has to take off his hat during Mass and I figured he would
leave it in the back of church. So, I was going to leave after
Communion
and steal Shaun's hat."*
**
*The priest said, "But I notice that you don't have Shaun's hat with
you. "*
* *
**
* *
*James said "Well, after I heard your sermon on the 10 commandments, I
changed my mind."
*
*
The priest gave James a big smile and said*
* "After I talked about '**Thou shalt not steal',** you decided you
would
rather do without your hat than burn in Hell, right?"
*
**
*
James shook his head and said*
*"No, Father, after you talked about '**Thou Shalt Not Commit
Adultery**' *
* *
*I remembered where I left my hat."
*
*James had never been to the church all his life. But he showed up one
Sunday. *
* *
**
* *
* *
*After Mass, the priest caught him and said "James, I am so glad you
decided
to come to Mass, what made you come?"*
*
James said, "I got to be honest with you Father. A while back, I
misplaced
my hat and I really, really love that hat.*
*
*
*
I know that Shaun had one just like mine and I knew that Shaun came to
church every Sunday.
*
**
* *
*I know Shaun has to take off his hat during Mass and I figured he would
leave it in the back of church. So, I was going to leave after
Communion
and steal Shaun's hat."*
**
*The priest said, "But I notice that you don't have Shaun's hat with
you. "*
* *
**
* *
*James said "Well, after I heard your sermon on the 10 commandments, I
changed my mind."
*
*
The priest gave James a big smile and said*
* "After I talked about '**Thou shalt not steal',** you decided you
would
rather do without your hat than burn in Hell, right?"
*
**
*
James shook his head and said*
*"No, Father, after you talked about '**Thou Shalt Not Commit
Adultery**' *
* *
*I remembered where I left my hat."
*
Direct line to heaven
From My InBox:
An American decided to write a book about famous churches around the world. So he bought a plane ticket and took a trip to Orlando, thinking that he would start by working his way across the USA from South to North.
On his first day he was inside a church taking photographs when he noticed a golden telephone mounted on the wall with a sign that read '$10,000 per call'. The American, being intrigued, asked a priest who was strolling by what the telephone was used for. The priest replied that it was a direct line to heaven and that for $10,000 you could talk to God. He thanked the priest and went along his way.
Next stop was Atlanta. There, in a very large cathedral, he saw the same golden telephone with the same sign under it. He wondered if this was the same kind of telephone he saw in Orlando and he asked a nearby nun what its purpose was. She told him that it was a direct line to heaven and that for $10,000 he could talk to God. 'O.K., thank you,' said the American.
He then traveled all across America , Europe, England , Japan , and New Zealand . In every church he saw the same golden telephone with the same 'US$10,000 per call' sign under it.
The American, decided to travel to Australia to see if Australians had the same phone. He arrived at the Gold Coast, and again, in the first church he entered, there was the same golden telephone, but this time the sign under it read '50 cents per call.'
The American was surprised so he asked the priest about the sign. 'Father, I've travelled all over the world and I've seen this same golden telephone in many churches. I'm told that it is a direct line to Heaven, but in all of them price was $10,000 per call. Why is it so cheap here?'
The priest smiled and answered, 'You're in Australia now, son - it's a local call'.
An American decided to write a book about famous churches around the world. So he bought a plane ticket and took a trip to Orlando, thinking that he would start by working his way across the USA from South to North.
On his first day he was inside a church taking photographs when he noticed a golden telephone mounted on the wall with a sign that read '$10,000 per call'. The American, being intrigued, asked a priest who was strolling by what the telephone was used for. The priest replied that it was a direct line to heaven and that for $10,000 you could talk to God. He thanked the priest and went along his way.
Next stop was Atlanta. There, in a very large cathedral, he saw the same golden telephone with the same sign under it. He wondered if this was the same kind of telephone he saw in Orlando and he asked a nearby nun what its purpose was. She told him that it was a direct line to heaven and that for $10,000 he could talk to God. 'O.K., thank you,' said the American.
He then traveled all across America , Europe, England , Japan , and New Zealand . In every church he saw the same golden telephone with the same 'US$10,000 per call' sign under it.
The American, decided to travel to Australia to see if Australians had the same phone. He arrived at the Gold Coast, and again, in the first church he entered, there was the same golden telephone, but this time the sign under it read '50 cents per call.'
The American was surprised so he asked the priest about the sign. 'Father, I've travelled all over the world and I've seen this same golden telephone in many churches. I'm told that it is a direct line to Heaven, but in all of them price was $10,000 per call. Why is it so cheap here?'
The priest smiled and answered, 'You're in Australia now, son - it's a local call'.
Sunday, February 1, 2009
Making friends
From My InBox:
Making a million friends is not a miracle,
the miracle is to find a friend
who will stand by U when a million are against U !!! J
Making a million friends is not a miracle,
the miracle is to find a friend
who will stand by U when a million are against U !!! J
The Spirit of Overcoming
A story shared by David Bristow to remind us that something good can and will develop from all bad experiences that we may have to go through in life.
May the spirit of overcoming be with you always.
May the spirit of overcoming be with you always.
The world's libraries. Connected.
The world's libraries. Connected. Is that possible? Yes! Through Online Computer Library Centre (OCLC). Find out who are behind this project in the following slideshow shared on SlideShare by Nebraska Library Commission.
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